Used to be very emotional, now completely numb. Normal or not?

fra123

Not sure if this is the right thread, but it seemed the most obvious choice.

I'm a 20 year old female student and I have a problem, up until just over a year ago, I was prone to bouts of debilitating emotion to the point where I would stay in bed for weeks. Even in childhood I was very susceptible to emotion and found it hard to concentrate in school and lacked the consistency to secure stable relationships. I was either too clingy or too hyper. I had a few traumatic events happen to me over the years and mental illness is rampant in my family. So it's no surprise that I am messed up. However what I didn't see coming was this apathy which hasn't left me once since it came about. Literally one day I woke up, I can remember it, and I felt nothing. I went to school and found it easier to study - for longer periods of time than ever before and with no stress. And people in school and college have now warmed to me, think I'm cool. Some of the guys think I'm "mysterious". I feel that I'm a lot more intelligent now and articulate. It's strange, I had always wanted to be rid of my emotions and it actually happened. I've never heard of this sort of drastic change to come about in a person. I can't feel love or sympathy and don't trust anyone, only bouts of anger from time to time, or sometimes I think I'm feeling happiness but I'm not sure. I do remember emotions but the memory is obviously not the same. If I have an argument with someone now (the other person instigated it on each of the few occasions), I will feel a need to patch things up so to speak- but not guilt. I stay up late don't sleep very well but I'm fine with that. I've continued to do art. I want to continue functioning, and being left with anger hasn't turned me into a bad person or anything- my old morals are still ingrained. However, is just doesn't feel "normal", it's like I'm faking relationships now and I have calculatingly pulled the wool over many people's eyes in terms of emotion. This is pretty much self serving, I just had the urge to do it, so I'm not expecting nor do I care if this gets a response. But hopefully it will be of use to someone else, and it would be an interesting bonus if someone else shared a similar experience.

Cheers

Roselm

Hi OP,
I think you should probably speak to your GP as s/he may be able to recommend a professional that you could speak to who would be better placed to shed some light on your situation.
Sorry I can't be of more help
All the best

Ickle Magoo

OP,

This is an advice forum and we are not qualified to give medical advice or make any kind of medical diagnosis. Anything that renders you debilitated or experiencing extremes or makes you feel you are not functioning should be discussed with your GP/referred professional to get their qualified advice ASAP.

All the best.