What sort of stuff do you do with "the lads"?

Fenian Army

I'm 20 and in college and everything my group of friends does revolves around drink, copious amounts of it. Basically all we do is go to the pub, then a club.

Now don't get me wrong it's good craic now and again, but it's literally all we do. Thing is I really don't like nightclubs, I don't mind the few quietish pints in the pub/someones house beforehand where we can all talk and stuff, but not all the time. I'm not big into the drink, the lads would be out a minimum of three nights a week, truth be told I can't really afford that these days anyway.

Besides not being able to really afford it I'm just bored sh!tless lately with the same thing. I miss what it was like when we were say 15 or so and we would just hang out and stuff. Now it's just nightclubs everyday of the week which as I said I don't enjoy, but I don't want to be antisocial and I hate sitting at home when they are all out thinking I'm missing the best night ever.

Hmm, this is a bit rambling but I hope you get what I'm on about...

So, is drinking pretty much all you do with your friends? Anyone in, or has been in, a situation like me?

18AD

Was in the same boat myself when I was about 21. All my friends were just drinking buddies. So I had to sort that out an re-evaluate my lifestyle. Quit the booze for a year due to health reasons and whatnot. Best thing I ever did for getting some perspective.

Anywho, for non-drink related stuff a lot of my friends, myself included, are big in to board games. Stuff like Risk, Chess, Carcassonne, Ricochet Robot, Jungle Speed... The list goes on.

Other times, just watch a movie. Other times, we just have some tea and a chat.

You could have a poker night. Although I can't do this cause my friends who play are all deadly. Literally money down the toilet.

A great idea is to have a dinner night, where everyone cooks food and brings it over, or you cook it together. That's if you're in to cooking.

Hope there's something in that for you.

dave3004

The best way to avoid the drink is to plan.

You can't drink if you're going to the cinema, have an astro pitch booked, heading rock-climbing or bringing a girl ice-skating.

I find the best way to avoid drinking is to keep yourself busy.

Activities, sports etc. Keep an eye out for "What's On In Dublin" and those type of websites and you can find fringe festivals, comedy shows, museum exhibitions, free salsa classes etc etc.

The world is your oyster

dave3004

That_Guy wrote: »

Bit uncalled for lad.

Apologies. Didn't intend to offend. Just love that Austin Powers quote !

leggo

XBox - CoD sessions.
UFC Nights.
Sports games down the pub.
Going to sports games.
5-a-side football.
Going to the gym etc together.
They do classic movies in a cinema in town every week so we often head up to one of them when they're doing a Die Hard, Predator etc.
And so on...

You'll get over the whole "I'm missing out" vibe after a while. There's nothing wrong with picking and choosing your nights out to keep it interesting. Do you have any other groups of friends or is there other people outside of 'the lads' you could make an effort to go out with instead (work/college friends etc)?

I got caught in the same rut as you a few years back, don't beat yourself up about it it's just a transitional phase while you go from being an older kid to a young adult. But now I've got tons of different groups that I'd go out with every now and then. Might go a couple of months without seeing 'the lads'. So it keeps the social life fresh. See if you can do something similar. All about finding a winning balance.

guitarzero

Giving that serious thought too. Drink and hangovers have progressively been having a negative effect on me and every weekend is the same crap. Its becoming boring, plus, no ever pulls cuz we are awful at talking with women.

I thought about finding new friends who's life doesnt revolve around drink. Literally every social occasion is served with beer.

If you are musically inclined then consider composing, joining a band or even create a cover band.

Doing "stuff" can be pretty pricey at times so it may require sacrifice of a session but could totally be worth it.

Pool, bowling, actual gigs, paint ball, go cart, etc...

later12

Get a girlfriend. Seriously, you'll drink less and you'll have more sex. If you're lucky, you'll find a girlfriend who has similar interests to you. I know this isn't quite the same as guy company, and it involves ridiculous amounts of standing around shoe shops and ladies' changing rooms, but these things are all about compromise... according to my ex girlfriend, anyway.

Alternatively, I would suggest joining a sports club in college and widening (not exactly replacing) your circle of friends.

Galvasean

later10 wrote: »

Get a girlfriend.

Good advice.

later10 wrote: »

it involves ridiculous amounts of standing around shoe shops and ladies' changing rooms,

Say what now?

later10 wrote: »

according to my ex girlfriend, anyway.

That's more like it

minidazzler

With my mates it's huge amounts of drinking, interspersed with cinema, gaming sessions, going for coffee, and just generally taking the piss.

A lot of the time when we do anything it'll lead to a couple of pints to round out the day. I'm pretty sure we're all perfectly OK with that.

the_syco

Drinking is great. There's lot of things you can do whilst drinking, but that doesn't involve drinking. Confused?

Darts, poker, bowling, gaming sessions can all be done with or without beer.

Invite the lads over for a xbox session. Tell them to bring their beer. Play the xbox, and they'll drink. You won't need to drink if you don't want to, but the lads will see it as a session, and will enjoy it anyhoos...

amacachi

Generally we just hang out, generally wouldn't involve going out. For most of them there's not much drinking and the like involved, for me there is.

College was a bit the same for me, most people wanting to hit the pubs and clubs and I disliked the clubs so I generally tried to avoid it all.

In the end just getting involved in things sorted it out for me. A bit in college but mostly in the years since. When I started building stuff on my own land in the last 5 years for example the lads would come over and help out. Digging, work in the garden, building, the lot.

I started studying meditation and capoeira too and eventually reached a level where I began to give free lessons to the local college students in both. Some of the lads come over and take part. Though I think that is 50:50 between being interested in it and being interested in the college girls that are interested in it

Basically though the more things you are into yourself or get into - hobbies, projects, whatever - the more room there is for involving "the lads". A decent incentice like a good bet is always a good way to get the lads into something weird though. I once suggested everyone stick 50 euro in a pot and then go and build go karts for a no holds barred go kart race with winner takes the pot. It was mad fun and carnage and the lads got into it more than I expected, building carts not just for speed but for some - pretty interesting - weaponry and stuff for incapacitating the other drivers and-or their vehicles. Was a good laugh with not too many bruises.

Still drink though. Have a house party one time a month in my house, screen most big sports events in my house on a large projecter tele, and stuff like that and that is all drink drink drink, but it is not the be-all anymore and I rarely find myself in pubs anymore and never in clubs. The house parties are as much about the big feeds I cook as anything else.

KERSPLAT!

We pretty much go to the pub

Alternatives being cinema, going to matches, paintball, cards nights, pool, snooker, etc. every few weeks

Kev.OC

Poker, bowling, board games, Xbox/PS3, go-karting, paintball, just hoping into the car for a day out (in Limerick/at the beach/just a spin somewhere), weekly soccer, golf.

Some of those are weather dependent, but none require drink to work. Now one could indeed have a few sociable drink during some of those, but it's up to the person really. None of those put anyone into a situation where they feel they should have to drink.


Please note, this post in no way promotes the consumption of large quantities of alcoholic beverages while gambling...unless you know from the start you're going to lose. Then you might as well have a few.

DazMarz

Cinema is always a good one... Even just going to someone's house and having a bit of a film night is a good laugh. Football matches are another one, especially if a few of you support the same teams (great times to be had if you have a few, say, Chelsea supporters and a few Liverpool supporters or something for a game).

Even just going to a restaurant (read: Eddie Rockets, Burger King, McDonalds, etc.) and just sitting around, holding court while having a few burgers or something is a good laugh.

Don't always make everything revolve around drink, cos it ain't worth it the morning after!!!

Imhof Tank

Kev.OC wrote: »

golf.

^

Samich

I never do anything with the lads. Live too far away and never any time.

Buceph

Board games and tabletop games (RPGs and that) is the big one for me. Try and meet up once a week to do that, depending on schedules. Going to rugby matches is another. Try and make it to the gym with one friend, he does a class and I do weights and cardio, usually involves coffee before or after. We're going to see Dara O'Briain in a few weeks. Some times we'd go for food. I'm into photography, so last weekend, I took a few friends out for a few hours, gave each of them a loan of one of my cameras, and we walked around in a group taking whatever picture we wanted. I'm now going to develop them all myself and we'll meet up and look at them.

One thing a friend switched me onto was changing the kind of drinking you do. Schulling pints of Heineken is grand the odd night (I'm still a big fan of it on the right occasion.) This friend though got me turned onto some of the different beers available. Go to one of the pubs that stocks craft beer, so you'd have wheat beers, lagers, bocks, tripels, dubbels, weizenbocks, winter ales, summer ales, etc. Far more beers to taste, so the conversation turns to appreciating the beer, rather than necking them. After that you can get into brewing your own beer, works out a lot cheaper in the long run, plus it looks to be fun (that's probably my next hobby, once I've saved some cash.)

scotty_irish

later10 wrote: »

Get a girlfriend. Seriously, you'll drink less and you'll have more sex. If you're lucky, you'll find a girlfriend who has similar interests to you. I know this isn't quite the same as guy company, and it involves ridiculous amounts of standing around shoe shops and ladies' changing rooms, but these things are all about compromise... according to my ex girlfriend, anyway.

Alternatively, I would suggest joining a sports club in college and widening (not exactly replacing) your circle of friends.

later10 you're better than that.

the second part is better. sports girls are hot.

do something interesting, women will like you more and you will like you more.

smallBiscuit

Here's an apparently revolutionary idea. Go to the pub, have some craic, but don't get pissed.

If you want to find out method for this as discovered by ancient brewers please deposit €50 into my paypal account

Or read on.

My Secret is ......... Food and Water. First I always try to eat a good meal before drinking. Second, I will have 2 or 3 pint's. When I start to feel a little drunk, my next pint will be water, possibly the one after as well. It saves you money as well as keeping you closer to sober. Plus, have you ever been out with people who are pissed, while you are relatively sober? They are funny.

Oh, and I think it helps to stave off a hangover, I seldom have a hangover

Fenian Army

I've not had much luck lads, all they want to do is go to the pub/ a club.

Made a few suggestions, football, paintball, just got put on the long finger and there is a whole weekend of drinking lined up.

Last year that would have really appealed to me but I guess I'm just a loser these days Same thing all the time has me bored (and broke!)


It just seems we like different things these days which is a shame. I'll still hang around with them but I think I'm going to have to widen my social circle and take up new interests etc...

I think I'll join a bunch of socs in college, no idea what ones yet. I've always been a "go with the flow" kinda guy and generally wouldn't do stuff off my own bat by myself but the flow just ain't fun anymore.

Jayzus I sound like a right dry ****e don't I? I'm not really I'm just bored with the same thing.

"The lads" and I would hang out at each others' houses, watching movies and just chatting ****, or else going to get tea and food somewhere or else going out on the piss.

Sky King

ATF days out the county. Love em. Some of the best times I've ever had were ATF days.

qrrgprgua

In college abroad spent many weekends/Holidays hiking with friends. Mostly lads, We did most of the mountains in Switzerland, Northern Italy, Northern Spain, Poland, Also some in Mexico.

I also don't get the whole NightClub/Pub+Wasted scene in Ireland. Many of the guys I went to school would have liked to have done what I did.

Drink is not a big thing abroad as it is in Ireland/UK, Certainly not among the young (talking about back in mid 90's). We did drink beer, but by drinking I mean a beer, 250ml/or 330ml, max half a litre. Never more, Why would you? (its not like you are going to drink a litre of water or coke.. so why alcohol??)

In Ireland is seen as a rite of passage sometimes, esp for men. Idiotic waste of money. Been away with lads for some weekends away at work, drunk on Friday night and wasted Saturday...

seanbmc

This may sound ghey, but going shopping with a few lads is quite enjoyable, sometimes we'd go after college or on the weekends.

ecoli

+1 to the people who said try to arrange stuff where drink is available but not the focus of the night. I am in a similar situation to you in early 20s but wouldnt drink that often (due to heavy involvement in sport). It is only recently that I have started pursuing different avenues other than Pub/club

I have recently started going to comedy clubs (the International do it 7 nights of the week) there is a bar so mates can still drink but I drive in so as to avoid the temptation to have a pint myself. Because there is comedy I do not feel left out when not drinking as does not become the focus but the rest are still getting there "night on the lash" if so choose

Other than that there is cinema nights, arranging Xbox tournaments (COD,fifa etc) Poker nights are also an option where you can include drinking without it being the focal point of the night. Rockband is also a great one for a good laugh.

During the day there are always stuff like Go karting, paintball etc (though not great if you are on a budget) Hill walks like Glendalough or Ticknock are a good free option

Again justtry and get away from drink as the focal point of an event. This way it doesnt come across as you are trying to force sobriety on them (usual Dublin student mentality which has crept in of recent)

This way when you do go on nights out and want to drink you are not seen as only suiting yourself with nights out and will actually look forwards to these nights out as something that is not every week

DB10

Fenian Army wrote: »

I'm 20 and in college and everything my group of friends does revolves around drink, copious amounts of it. Basically all we do is go to the pub, then a club.

Now don't get me wrong it's good craic now and again, but it's literally all we do. Thing is I really don't like nightclubs, I don't mind the few quietish pints in the pub/someones house beforehand where we can all talk and stuff, but not all the time. I'm not big into the drink, the lads would be out a minimum of three nights a week, truth be told I can't really afford that these days anyway.

Besides not being able to really afford it I'm just bored sh!tless lately with the same thing. I miss what it was like when we were say 15 or so and we would just hang out and stuff. Now it's just nightclubs everyday of the week which as I said I don't enjoy, but I don't want to be antisocial and I hate sitting at home when they are all out thinking I'm missing the best night ever.

Hmm, this is a bit rambling but I hope you get what I'm on about...

So, is drinking pretty much all you do with your friends? Anyone in, or has been in, a situation like me?

You're not alone there bud. I'm in a similar situation, all the "lads" ever want to do is go out 3 nights a week minimum. I'm like you, hate the nightclubs, but I am fond of the pub or a good house party. Going to the same nightclub even once a week is bad enough, some of them 3 nights a week they go.

Now I like a few drinks, probably more than the lads, but once a week is usually enough for me or twice at most. Some of them spend 3 or 4 nights clubbing a week. Now I know there is student discounts etc, but most people can't afford that in these times! And like you said it gets boring after a while.

What I've found is though just do your own thing, it can be harder in college if you don't go out because you can end up on your own unless you have something else to do.

Coeurdepirate

My friends and I just talk, watch films, play video games, normal **** like that.

Bit OT:
I'm sort of the opposite though, whenever it comes to going out 'for a few drinks' with my friends I just get coke while they drink beer and I feel like a bit of a knob. Thing is, I hate the taste of alcohol, I just like being drunk, so drinking for me is just downing some vodka really quickly, dying inside for a minute and then having fun. Anybody else feel like this?

Nal

go to watch your local LOI side. the season is starting up in a few weeks.

paulymc

Yep go support your local League of Ireland club. Every weekend you can go to a match and every 2nd weekend (nearly) you will end up in a different county in ireland at an away game..

Also Pool,Bowling, Pitch an Putt,THE gym swimming,play astro,join your local sports club etc

How people get bored nowadays ill never know

thenashlegend

Being 20 I can see where the OP is coming from. There were two distinct groups in our secondary school...one group went out and got sh1tfaced every weekend, where as we went out every second or third week had a few pints in the pub and went for some food after. Never really bother with a nightclub.

We're in college now but we'll call to each others houses and have a night in at the Xbox with a few mugs of tea. Other than that we'll go to a snooker hall...or just go out spinnin in the car and meet a few others. Maybe go to the cinema, visit a different town some weekends or go on a trip for a weekend around the country somewhere.

We might not be as "cool" as the lads who get drunk and fall around the place acting the ass but I wouldnt swap it for the world. We're all happy getting on with our college work and most of us have girlfriends too. Besides they're a bunch of friends I could rely on to solve a problem or help out when I need it!