Should one go with what their head or their heart tells them??

locombia

Should one go with what their head or their heart tells them?? Please help!!!

Met a guy on holidays last summer and I've totally fallen head over heels with him..We have been talking on skype every day since I came back to Ireland and he even managed to come visit me for a week in December which made our feelings for each other even stronger. I can't stop thinking about him and we've even talked about having a future together, kids etc..Only thing is he lives in South America and I live here??I now find myself in the position of make or break it....On one hand my head is telling me that if I want to continue with this it won't be easy and alot of sacrifices are going to have to be taken on both our parts due to the distance and our circumstances...but then my heart is just saying go for it! You might never meet someone like this again!!

What would you do?????

Is there anything that would be keeping you here? Kids? Career you wouldn't mind leaving? Look at it and figure it out, then if you've come to the conclusion that you've nothing to lose but everything to gain, then go for it. Be sure to have a back-up plan ready though, just in case it doesn't go the way you think. Not saying it won't work, but it's much better to be safe than sorry.

locombia

No commitments here as such and I do have family over where he lives so at least I would have family support over there. One thing I know though is that my parents would not be too happy for me to leave the country just for a man!! I have a job here but my contract runs out in a few months and I know they're expecting me to look for another job here as I have loads of experience in my line of work...If I tell them Im leaving to be with someone I met on holidays they'll have a joint heart attack !!!they have raised me up to be quite independent and careers are quite important to them so I know they'll be disappointed which I hate the thought of...So should I do what I want to do or what will make my parents happy?They've done so much for me that it feels im letting them down slightly...all in the name of love???

Beruthiel

You're an adult no?
You no longer need your parents permission to do whatever you want with your life.
So, you move to a new country, find a job, and see if this man works out or not.
Even if he doesn't, so what?
You come back and pick up where you left off.
And, if it does work out, best decision ever!

You'll only ever regret the things you didn't do OP.

btw - I did everything I could for my daughter. That doesn't mean she owes me the rest of her life.

LegacyUser

I can identify with this post as it’s quite similar to my story.
I came to Ireland to learn English for a summer and met someone that I fell totally in love with and never felt like this with anyone else before. It was love at first sight.
We spoke everyday when I came back home. He visited me and we talked about our future and what we wanted.
He asked me to go back with him and I really wanted to at the time. I told him I had to think about it more.

For me it was a huge sacrifice because I was leaving my family, friends, my home, a job, and all my security while he was staying in his home turf.
TBH, my parents were not excited about it and would rather have me leave again for an education or job opportunity not for some guy I hardly knew and have been speaking with over the internet.
Their reasons had nothing to do with career and independence.
They are old fashioned and from the dark ages they would have loved to marry me off...lol
Their issue was more about compromise because they felt like I was giving up more for him than what he may be giving back to me. I was hesitant because I started to think if it was only infatuation and chemistry and the novelty would wear off.

I was concerned that moving there would put all the responsibility and burden to him which was something I did not want to do either. With Skype and visits, we discussed it further.
He was not going to leave his comfort zone as he was more established and he already lived and worked abroad for a year.
As for me I was really just starting out.
My decision to come here was when he told me not to move to Ireland just for him because he didn’t want me to resent him or have regrets.
He wanted it to be for me too and he wanted my experiences to be worthwhile and encouraged me to further my studies with his full support.

The most important advice I can give is if you decide to move, make it meaningful and get something out of it. Moving all the way to another country is a big deal.

Ireland to South America sounds exciting but a huge step.
Having family there may make the transition easier.
I am fortunate that Italy is just a three hour flight and not across the continent as we were able to make frequent visits.
I did follow my heart because it just felt right.
We are married now and I could not imagine my life without him and how it would turn out if I said no.

Sacrifices are supposed to made in relationships but always make sure there is compromise because you do not want to be taken advantage of or for granted.
It takes two to sustain a relationship and love alone is not enough. If it feels right go with it, we do live once!

Miss Fluff

Anyone who doesn't take risks or a chance now and then is only living a half-life to my mind. If you have no commitments here that are tying you down I reckon go for it. What exactly have you got to lose? In fact there's everything to be gained. It may work out and he is the love of your life and you'll feel blessed every day you are with him. Or it may not work out and you'll have had the opportunity to live in a foreign country and probably pick up a language or two in the process. Grab it and run with it m'dear!

Pebbles68

I went with the heart:) 10 years later I'm still in Ireland instead of Australia and still very much in love.