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“Talk of the Parish” stories

  • 09-01-2012 12:17pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 306 ✭✭


    Hi All,
    I’m putting together a collection of stories that circulate around small parishes that are of an interesting or humorous nature. The below is one I heard recently, which may not necessarily sound funny on paper but got a laugh out of people when it circulated. If anyone has any stories of a similar nature, feel free to share.
    Thanks in Advance for all Responses.
     
    A builder did some work for a village grocery store owner. The grocer has a reputation for chancing anything to get things cheaper. When the builder went looking for payment, the script went something like this:
    Grocer: "How much do I owe you?"
    Builder: "€500".
    Grocer: "Would you take €400 and some groceries?"
    Builder: "THIS IS NOT LITTLE HOUSE ON THE F*CKIN’ PRAIRIE!!!!!!"


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Make sure each of them end with the line, "Ah, sure you had to be there."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    All old people "All them young ones are on drugs, they go out snorting heroin then getting pregnant with foreign babies"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Defiler Of The Coffin


    Two oul fellas (brothers) from out the road used to go drinking in the village on Friday nights. One of them used to drive the tractor into the village and the other used to stand in the transport box. This was in the days when the drink-driving laws were more of a suggestion than anything.

    Anyways one night they parked the tractor outside the pub and while they were inside some of the bucks thought it would be funny to disconnect the transport box from the tractor.

    The oul fellas finish up in the pub, one gets in the driver seat, other in the box. Brother drives home, it was only out the road but seeing as the tractor could only do about 10MPH it took about half an hour to get home. Parks it up and turns around. The other buck was still standing in the transport box in the village.

    Ah shure ya had to be there


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 912 ✭✭✭endabob1


    A Criminally under-rated book


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,939 ✭✭✭mikedragon32


    If anyone has any stories of a similar nature, feel free to share.
    Will we get a share of the royalties?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 306 ✭✭JohnnyBananas


    Thanks for all responses so far.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    One time a black fella drove through the village, no word of a lie:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Will we get a share of the royalties?
    Thanks for all responses so far.

    Answer the man!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 306 ✭✭JohnnyBananas


    Will we get a share of the royalties?

    Not writing a book. I just thought it would be interesting to put a collection of word of mouth stories together.

    John Doe1 wrote: »
    One time a black fella drove through the village, no word of a lie

    That reminds me. In the town Ballaghadereen, Co Roscommon there was influx of foreign nationals who came to work in the local dairy/food related factories. The town quickly got the nickname “Ballaghadesh”. There was story going around town once that a robbery had been commited by “three locals and a white guy!!!”


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,041 ✭✭✭who the fug


    John Doe1 wrote: »
    One time a black fella drove through the village, no word of a lie:eek:

    In the part of London I live in, one pub is still called the Blackmans, story goes the first blackman seen in the area drank there


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,775 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Oirish uban mtyths, den boi? Is that it?

    Heres one from Mayo:
    Me - Good afternoon.
    Him - **** off back to Dublin y'aul inbred jackeen ya.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    I was the talk of the Parish... all the priests wanted a piece of my ass!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    I remember a whistle theft a while back. It was the talk of the fupping parish.


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