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Can't tell GP/counsellor truth

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  • 05-01-2012 11:24pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hello going unreg to be honest here for once,
    I've been seeing a counselor for 3 years and always try to make things sound better than they are, I go see the GP every 6 months ish and do the same
    like when I say my depression/anxiety comes in waves

    Its never gone I'm just ignoring it!

    I don't even know what is appropriate to tell my counselor, I wouldnt be comfortable with everything. Not sure what im supposed to be getting from it anymore I don't want to use the tools I just want to do nothing.


    I'm terrified of two things telling my counselor about how I've not been telling her everything and terrified of telling her what I think about so its all been bottled up in me, can't carry it but I'm in my final year of college so If everything comes out into the open now it might be too much to handle, I'm also scared of calling a phone line because then I would have to go through my whole story which is very complicated again.
    (sorry about the long post but I've been trying to do thesis work for 8 hours and I've just been sitting here thinking about this)


    Thanks

    -Someone whose lost their way in counseling.
    Tagged:


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    #2
    Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee


    If it was me, I'd like the complicated story where it is. If you are happy with it in the back of your mind then leave it there. Why drag it up? Tell your counselor this, no point fooling yourselves.

    How are you feeling right now? Are you feeling low or are you doing ok?


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You need to be upfront and honest about what is going on with you otherwise you are not going to reap the benefits of your treatment that you need and require. Instead you are wasting your time, energy, effort and money.

    Your counsellor and GP are professionals and it is their job to help you. They are not going to judge you if that is your concern. Life is too short to be bull****ing through therapy and lying to your GP. The reason I am saying this was because I did exactly the same thing as you when I was younger and in counselling. All it did in the end was make things worse not better. There are many people that think sweeping it under the carpet or not talking about it will make everything go away. By keeping it bottled up inside may fester into other problems in the future.

    Don't worry about what to say and do in therapy. There is no exact protocal except being honest and upfront with your feelings. Even if you have not been honest from the beginning, your counsellor will not be offended because you are not the only that is doing this. This happens a lot more frequently than most think. I am sure it is based on fear of the unknown and judgement. Don't worry about what she thinks, counselling is supposed to about you not her. You are paying her to listen to you and the more you talk about your issues the less it becomes a problem. You are young and intelligent go through with this now so you can have a healthy, happy and fulfilling future instead of one where you may have to go through this all over again.


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    #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    You've been seeing this one for three years and yet the very thought of being honest with them - the very point of going to counselling - terrifies you. Would you consider a new counsellor? If it's the amount of time elapsed then don't - it can take people a long time to even realise what the issues are or even accepting they have issues.

    Look at it another way, what have you got to lose? You pretend and lie and convince your GP/counsellor that you're doing okay then what changes? What's the point? You have nothing to lose by being completely honest and everything to gain - forget what anyone else might think and do it for yourself.

    All the best. :cool:


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    #5
    Pebbles68
    Registered Users Posts: 165 ✭✭Pebbles68


    It took me far too many years and 3 different sorts of therapy to discover one of the fundamentals of therapy IMO - the thing you least want to open up about is the most important thing to talk about for therapy to be successful.

    Be brave, be honest, if something is bothering you that is what your therapist is there for. Good luck


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    #6
    fungun
    Registered Users Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Either tell the counsellor the full extent of what is going or or just stop going. You are just fooling yourself into thinking you are helping yourself with the counselling when actually you are still avoiding the issue - and the counselling cant do what it needs to do unless you tell the whole truth.

    Be brave and do it! You'll thank yourself for it in years to come.


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    #7
    EUSSR
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭EUSSR


    Good advice, but be careful what you tell these people. Legally they are obliged to keep transcripts of questionable conversations where possible, so if you say something bad, it could be used against you. Keep in mind courts can overrule a counselor, so it's best not to tell them everything. Privacy is not absolute in these circumstances.


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    #8
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,423 ✭✭✭Morag


    EUSSR wrote: »
    Good advice, but be careful what you tell these people. Legally they are obliged to keep transcripts of questionable conversations where possible, so if you say something bad, it could be used against you. Keep in mind courts can overrule a counselor, so it's best not to tell them everything. Privacy is not absolute in these circumstances.

    That isn't very helpful. And good counsellors will explain that they don't have the same client privileges as a solicitor and it's not an issue unles the OP has murdered someone or there is a child currently at risk.


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    #9
    samina
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭samina


    From experience the relief you'll feel when you finally tell someone will be like a physical weight taken from your shoulders. If its never brought out in the open you will never resolve it and you seem too young (going by your username) to be carrying problems like you have around on your own for the rest of your life.


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    #10
    EUSSR
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭EUSSR


    Sharrow wrote: »
    it's not an issue unles the OP has murdered someone or there is a child currently at risk.

    At least not yet. There could be a European Union directive ratified into law to change this however. I know it's not nice to think about, but it's something to keep in mind. Especially when you have microphones and CCTV around.


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    #11
    Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee


    EUSSR wrote: »
    At least not yet. There could be a European Union directive ratified into law to change this however. I know it's not nice to think about, but it's something to keep in mind. Especially when you have microphones and CCTV around.

    Can we just presume the OP hasn't anything to hide that would be of use against him in a court? :rolleyes:


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    #12
    krankykitty
    Registered Users Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭krankykitty


    And that counsellors are unlikely to have CCTV or microphones?

    Op, I suggest if you are continuing with this particular counsellor, let them know you're finding it hard to completely disclose. You don't have to tell them the actual story unless comfortable but just letting them know what you said here might open some discussion about whats happening in the counselling relationship


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    #13
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    EUSSR wrote: »
    At least not yet. There could be a European Union directive ratified into law to change this however. I know it's not nice to think about, but it's something to keep in mind. Especially when you have microphones and CCTV around.

    Welcome to PI. Peddling paranoid conspiracy theories is not useful in this forum.

    Please ensure you acquaint yourself with the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter and be aware that repetitive breaches of charter can earn you a ban from PI/RI.

    Many thanks.


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    #14
    meganj
    Registered Users Posts: 424 ✭✭meganj


    Op if you're not comfortable telling your counsellor everything, would you be comfortable telling the counsellor that?

    For myself, I have and continue to hold things back from my counsellor, but sometimes what helps is acknowledging that you're keeping something back. Then if you're not ready to discuss the issue to therapist can focus on getting you to a place where you are comfortable talking about it. You might need to discuss with your counsellor why you don't want to talk about certain things. Is it fear? Is it that the counsellor might judge you? That they won't believe you? That you feel to vulnerable? All these things can help the counsellor to help you.

    You should never feel pressured in therapy to tell everything immediately, yes it can help and yes if you are keeping things from them they may not be able to help you as thoroughly but simply saying out loud that there is something you're not saying is sometimes enough to allow the therapist to help you.


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