Feeling Awful

LegacyUser

Title sums it all up really. Can't shake this horrible feeling. Long term relationship ended six months ago. Went to a lot of effort to get new friends as mostly hung around with his friends. Now have horrible feeling that ive lost new people because i got stupidley drunk. Made a idiot of myself and kissed a boy who has a history (and mayb present) with one of new ppl. Afraid of seeing any of them now for fear im in for severe cold shoulder or worse. Asked guy loads if they were together and he said no, but in my experience the girls get the hassle when this happens, specially when im the new girl. that girl has never liked me either, and im afraid by not telling the people i do get on with i'll have pissed them off. I'm so miserable. Getting mild panic attacks and all.

Can anyone help? Or am i write to feel so crappy?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I completely relate to what you're saying. I also got out of a long term relationship about 6 months ago. Jumped into the mindset of "must meet new people, must have LOADS of fun, must meet new guys, must move on". It worked for a while, I met a group of new people, had a lot of fun but hooked up with one of the guys in the group. As soon as it ended with him I realised I'm out in the cold again because I'm his ex. Its a tough situation. I took it badly too and had mild anxiety attacks.

I don't know if I'm going to be much help here I'm just trying to tell you that its not unreasonable to feel how you feel, its perfectly normal after a long term relationship breaks up to feel a bit lost and alone. Especially if you've lost contact with some of your own friends over time. All I can say is how I'm coping with it now is to try and build on any friendships I have remaining. Make an effort with people who matter and take men out of the equation. Strong friendships are extremely important in the long run. Build on your own personality and figure out what you like to do and friendships will arise from it.

Its ok sometimes to feel a bit lost, it won't last forever. And from what you've described above the situation may not be as bad as you think. A quick apology (if necessary) and explanation may be all thats needed to mend the situation.

I do think its important though to forget about men for a while, because when you're feeling lost and vulnerable its easy to think hooking up with guys will feel that hole. I don't know if thats helped its just how I have felt recently!!

Good luck x

LegacyUser

Thanks so much for reply, made me feel better that someone knows what im talking about! I hate myself for being such an idiot, was hard to make new friends and i'm scared ive wrecked it all. Its tough for me to make female friends, i get on better with guys usually, less drama and bitchiness, which is what im expecting after what happened. Was a stupid drunken kiss and i know i made a fool of myself. Can't face having to start from scratch But on the other hand, I don't feel bad about the kiss, it was stupid, meant nothing and I'm young. I just feel bad for jeopardising friendships and getting that drunk. Any thoughts appreciated- should I just right them off? or am I a crappy person

greenprincess

no just leave it a few days and wait til the inital 'embarassment' has subsided a bit. and its probably a whole lot of ache over nothing!

LegacyUser

Maybe just explain that it was a stupid drunk mistake and you feel bad about it? I'm sure they'll understand that you were too drunk and feeling a bit crazy after gettin out of the long term thing. We have all been there. I don't know a single friend of mine who hasn't done something stupid while going through a confusing time. Theres absolutely no point beating yourself up about it, it was maybe stupid but you didn't actually harm anyone.

You're not a crappy person, like I said maybe just ease off the drink for a bit. Still go out, just don't drink so much that things like this happen! Also I highly recommend putting men out of your mind for a while. It takes a while to get clear judgement about your actions back after a breakup.

I wouldn't write them off either unless they are really upset about it? Have you even spoken to them about it? My main message is - don't put yourself down so much! It may have been poor judgement but it was one kiss while drunk, besides it takes 2 to tango!