Advice please

dc5dave

Hi,
Just looking for advice on this.. Basically my girlfriend of 7 months has an ex who is three years younger than her, i have found it very weird since i found out and it is the only issue between us. When we first got together she lied about his age which shows she found it weird too. She was 23 at the time and he was 20. It wasnt a serious relationship and by all accounts she didnt treat him very well. I know she loves me and we are a lot more serious than they were and she broke his heart. Then I find out she had kissed someone younger than that only once in fairness but i still think of it as creepy.
What i would like to know is if many gals do this or is it against the norm to b with lads less than 21 when you are above 21 by a bit yourself? Please tell me Im a weirdo cuz i dont want to lose her. I know she aint a slut and surely that is more important.

what on earth? you wouldnt be asking questions if it was a guy with a younger girl
get over it, especially since he's an ex
why the hell would you "lose" her and start talking about being a slut
get a grip

stargazer 68

3 years younger? Seriously OP!!
Are you sure you aren't 14???

baby and crumble

Wow, really? Man, three years once you reach your twenties is nothing. And being with 2 guys hardly qualifies her as a slut, whatever the hell that means. Ok, if it was a 14 year old and a 17 year old then maybe it's weird (mostly cos it's illegal) but 20 and 23? I'm hitting 30 and tbh i wouldn't be able to see much difference between a 20 and 23 year old!!!

Bigger issue for me is that she didn't treat him well and broke his heart.

dc5dave

I know im not saying she is a slut im saying if she was it would be a far bigger deal thats all. Of course I dont think that. And yes you are right if it was a guy I think its more normal if you get me. The more I think about it the more I realise Im a psycho to make a big deal of it.

stargazer 68

dc5dave wrote: »

The more I think about it the more I realise Im a psycho to make a big deal of it.

Well at least you realise that bit! Seriously OP - stop stressing over nothing!

Ickle Magoo

Moved from tLL.

This is the forum for requesting advice on any relationship issue. :cool:

Star Lord

dc5dave wrote: »

Basically my girlfriend of 7 months has an ex who is three years younger than her, i have found it very weird since i found out and it is the only issue between us. When we first got together she lied about his age which shows she found it weird too.

Why do you find it creepy?
She probably lied about his age because she's used to people being judgemental about it, which you are doing.

Chinafoot

You wouldn't bat an eyelid if the genders were reversed. This is your problem and yours alone. The fact that you find it 'creepy' and that this is an issue between you is baffling.

Why do you find it more 'normal' for a man to be older? What a ridiculous double standard.

I'd suggest you get over it tbh andd maybe try to readjust your attitude to these things.

dc5dave

DamoElDiablo wrote: »

Why do you find it creepy?
She probably lied about his age because she's used to people being judgemental about it, which you are doing.

No actually she said she never got any comments over it. She said she was a little embaressed about it when she met me and didnt want me finding out thats all. I realise im making a big deal of nothing and your comments have given me the kick up the arse I needed.

Neyite

I must have been a right cradle snatcher having a year long relationship with a 19 year old lad at the grand ol age of 27

Age is just a number OP.

Elmidena

I've gone out with a lot of younger guys over the years. Everyone's different.

rediguana25

Neyite wrote: »

I must have been a right cradle snatcher having a year long relationship with a 19 year old lad at the grand ol age of 27

Age is just a number OP.

Try 30 and a 19 yr old ;-)

OP I think you get the point now...seriously...try to use all the previous comments as an indication that you really should start being a bit more open minded. It's none of your business who your gf was with before you and 3 yrs is not an age gap at all!!
Enjoy what you have and stop looking for problems I'm sure your gf wouldn't be too pleased with all this fuss.

ABajaninCork

rediguana25 wrote: »

Try 30 and a 19 yr old ;-)

Yup! I was that 19 year old going out with a 30 year old man....Many years ago mind.;)

Like the others say - you need to dial it back OP. What happened before you came on the scene is none of your business. And if you continue along this path, it'll only lead to grief for you.

Kimia

Chinafoot wrote: »

You wouldn't bat an eyelid if the genders were reversed. This is your problem and yours alone. The fact that you find it 'creepy' and that this is an issue between you is baffling.

Why do you find it more 'normal' for a man to be older? What a ridiculous double standard.

I'd suggest you get over it tbh andd maybe try to readjust your attitude to these things.

CHinafoot I have to say, I really enjoy your posts. No nonsense, straight to the point and honest. You always seem to be saying what I am thinking only more eloquently!

OP you're acting crazy. I would work hard on that attitude of yours.