Cold Shoulder

LegacyUser

Long story short, kissed a girl a few weeks back, she's been texting me since, get the distinct impression she has strong feelings for me. I'm usually happy enough to text back but genuinely feel like she might be getting the wrong impression about how I feel about her or that I'm looking for a relationship (I do like her, she seems like a nice girl, but I like a lot of people, it doesn't mean I'm interested in a relationship with them). One one hand I don't want to ignore her texts and seem like an a**hole, on the other I don't want to give out the wrong impression. Another complication is that I would and will see her on a fairly regular basis as she works part time where we have our lunch. I could broaden the problem a little further but I'd rather not unless it's necessary.

How could I subtlety let her down? being blunt was never my forte.

LegacyUser

And what if I were to initiate the text? would that give the wrong impression. Personally if I liked someone and they intitiated the texting, I'd probably be more likely to think the feeling was mutual, especially if we hadn't been friends prior to that.

gmac102

MeathLad wrote: »

And what if I were to initiate the text? would that give the wrong impression. Personally if I liked someone and they intitiated the texting, I'd probably be more likely to think the feeling was mutual, especially if we hadn't been friends prior to that.

tell her ur just into friendship, honesty is best.... im female and preferred it to anything, i respect it!

ilovesleep

gmac102 wrote: »

tell her ur just into friendship, honesty is best.... im female and preferred it to anything, i respect it!

+1000 to this
Openness and honesty all the way

allovertheshop

you have to set her straight...she will appriciate this more than ignoring her texts, trust me.

maybe wait for her to initiate the next text message and then reply saying that while you enjoy the texting/contact with her, that you're not looking for anything serious right now.

Whatever you do, don't just ignore the situation hoping that it'll go away, because while she'll get the message eventually, she'll be hurt/confused and it'll be uncomfortable whenever you meet again

ButterflyABC

MeathLad wrote: »

Long story short, kissed a girl a few weeks back, she's been texting me since, get the distinct impression she has strong feelings for me. I'm usually happy enough to text back but genuinely feel like she might be getting the wrong impression about how I feel about her or that I'm looking for a relationship (I do like her, she seems like a nice girl, but I like a lot of people, it doesn't mean I'm interested in a relationship with them). One one hand I don't want to ignore her texts and seem like an a**hole, on the other I don't want to give out the wrong impression. Another complication is that I would and will see her on a fairly regular basis as she works part time where we have our lunch. I could broaden the problem a little further but I'd rather not unless it's necessary.

How could I subtlety let her down? being blunt was never my forte.

Has she been texting you alot or just one or two messages? She could just be being friendly too. I would let her know that you are not interested in a relationship as your replying may be giving her the wrong impression. Are you initiating the texting also?

Best of luck OP not an easy thing to do

ilovesleep

MeathLad wrote: »

And what if I were to initiate the text? would that give the wrong impression.

You're saying sending a text might give someone the wrong impression. Seriously. Unless if she is 12 or 13 she is not going to see a text as something more ie proposal for a relationship. I suggest you deflate your head if you think sending a text equals love.

fluffybiscuits

MeathLad wrote: »

Long story short, kissed a girl a few weeks back, she's been texting me since, get the distinct impression she has strong feelings for me. I'm usually happy enough to text back but genuinely feel like she might be getting the wrong impression about how I feel about her or that I'm looking for a relationship (I do like her, she seems like a nice girl, but I like a lot of people, it doesn't mean I'm interested in a relationship with them). One one hand I don't want to ignore her texts and seem like an a**hole, on the other I don't want to give out the wrong impression. Another complication is that I would and will see her on a fairly regular basis as she works part time where we have our lunch. I could broaden the problem a little further but I'd rather not unless it's necessary.

How could I subtlety let her down? being blunt was never my forte.

Unless she is a manic texter you have nothing to worry about. Why not just be blunt and say you are looking for mates and not dates? Simples really! Good luck ! :pac:

LegacyUser

Thanks guys for taking the time to reply, appreciate it. I'll go for the blunt option but I'll only cross the bridge if and when I come to it.

ilovesleep wrote: »

You're saying sending a text might give someone the wrong impression. Seriously. Unless if she is 12 or 13 she is not going to see a text as something more ie proposal for a relationship. I suggest you deflate your head if you think sending a text equals love.

Harsh! I never said that. All I can do is look at it from my own perspective, and if some girl I kissed on a night out, was regularly texting and initiating the texts, then I would definitely get the impression that she liked me. I re-read my OP, its probably not clear but I'm not assuming she has strong feelings for me because of the texting, I'm assuming it because she has told me as much and more, which is why I was weary about initiating texts. Anyway, I'll try the honesty approach if the topic ever comes up again.