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  • 04-01-2012 10:43am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm writing this to try and feel better. I need to get it out to try and sort it out in my own head, because right now starting this post I really have no idea what is wrong.

    Lately, I have been feeling very depressed. Nothing in particular has happened that would make me be this unhappy. I have a great family, am doing a good degree in college, have friends, and should be having a good time of late.

    I always feel guilty it seems though. If I have nothing to feel guilty about I invent some meaningless problem in my head, to obsess about. Its happening more and more and at the moment I think every single one of my friends hates me for something that wasnt intentional, a few months ago I wouldn't have even considered a major problem, and that I have no control over. Because of this, I amnt eating, barely sleeping, and generally just feel like an awful person. I don't know if I should talk to them. It would probably come from nowhere, they wouldn't know what to think about it, and by definition me, and I'm afraid I would be bad in the long run.

    I almost dropped out of college recently for no apparent reason. While I dont get straight A's my grades are considered decent, but I really dislike the course. Im half way through 3rd year though, and its a really good base degree. I could go on and do a post grad in almost anything. Now, im dreading moving back into college wit my friends, and having to do another year and a half of something I dont like.

    The worst thing is, I know these problems are small. I know people have a much much much harder time of things, and I have absolutely no reason to feel like. But its crushing me.

    I hate myself at the moment.

    So over the last few weeks, I've had some really bad thoughts. I've nearly done some very bad things, and had some suicidal thoughts. And that terrified me. I always thought of suicide as the most selfish thing a person can do. And here I am entertaining thoughts of it. So I knew I had to do something, and hopefully this post can at least help me know what my problem is.


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Anon90 wrote: »
    hopefully this post can at least help me know what my problem is.

    I'm afraid there is no one here who is qualified to tell you that OP.
    But, I URGE you to go talk to your college counselor today.
    They are there to help you and put you back on the path to a healthier, happier life.
    Care about yourself enough to do this.


This discussion has been closed.
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