Doing time

LegacyUser

Hi

I'm not sure what I'm going to type, but here goes. I'm a 29 year old male who isn't feeling the best, and hasn't for a while. Has anybody felt like they are doing time? It's like waiting for something that never comes.

I should be content in that I have a job and am relatively healthy, but I'm not at all happy. I'd be depressed a lot of the time and if it wasn't for work, I would have no reason to get up in the morning. I exercise regularly and have hobbies such as reading/listening to music but I still feel awful a lot of the time. I've been to a counseller during college 7 years ago, and took her advice re the exercising and eveloping hobbies. I was fairly socially anxious back then and had no friends, but at least now, I have acquaintences and am able to hold some sort of conversation for a few minutes. I still find it difficult.

I've joined a number of classes and sports over the years, but find it hard to maintain interest in them. I can't say I make any real connections with people in such environments. Like, I've never been to someone's house socially or at a party or anything.

I feel I've missed out on a lot regarding friends and stuff. I've never even kissed a girl, so that's a whole other situation that I don't want to think about right now.

I'm tired and feel like I'm in prision. I don't know where other people get their enthusiasm for life. How they function correctly.

The Lovely Muffin

I've no real advice for you OP, but if you are feeling depression and like you have no reason to get up, you need to speak to your doctor to get a proper diagnoses and help.

Depression is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.

There is plenty of help available, though you are better off going private (if you can afford it) as you will get help quicker than if you go public.

When I was referred to a psychologist I was waiting twelve months on a public waiting list, but if I went privately I could be seen within six weeks. For a private psychologist I was told €160 is the cost per session, but I live in a small town, if you are in a bigger town or city, you would have more options and would most likely get a lower price.

Good luck op, I hope it all works out for you.

shampooman

I am in no way qualified to give any sort of advice so If you are feeling depressed maybe it's a good idea to see a doctor.

What I've done and what I find to be a great help to improve my confidence is to take myself out of my comfort zone. Do something that takes you outside your normal everyday life. Maybe something once every month at the begining that way you have a goal to focus on and something to aim for.

I'm terrible with people but in my profession you have to be a little out there, which in my mid 20's helped me realise that the only opinion that really counts and the only person you have something to prove is to yourself. Take a change, think of a goal and go get it. It will focus you no end, more challenging the better too something that will really push you.

Doing these things also opens you up to meet new people, women are attracted to guys who go after their dreams, who arent afraid to express themselves and anyways at the very least it might give you something to talk about next time your out and cant think of anything else to say.

Anyways you seem clever, your good with words and in touch with your feelings so you have alot going for you!

Have a good week man and fair play with the exercise...I'd be lost without the home gym and GAA!

cliona8969

hi op i can relate to your post and i think a lot of people at some point in their lives can. i doubt there's anybody who goes through life happy every day. i feel like i'm doing time. my life is very good and i feel very fortunate, i have lovely family friends and a boyfriend and i am treated very well so i can't understand why i feel like im doing time. i have nothing to complain about yet i'm not a happy person these days. i don't understand what depression is or how it is caused and i have never seen anybody who is depressed any happier on medication. hence i wont go down that path myself. i would prefer to battle through low patches myself. i know i was happy up until recently so i don't know what changed for me. i'm not going to be good at offering advice as i am in the same boat sometimes but i find if i focus on what makes me happy, that cheers me up. also it's better to keep busy. in relation to not having kissed a girl, i actualy think that's pretty admirable and it will make your first kiss all the more better. good luck with everything and just remember i can only speak for myself but i can certainly relate to how you feel. i have very low moments and then i'm happy sometimes but i'm never REALLY happy. i don't get as much enjoyment out of every day things as the next person,. i hope it helps you anyway that you're not alone.
also the key to my happiness is to smile and try to enjoy the small things in life. i find if i enjoy the little things it makes me overall more happy.

CDfm

OP -why dont you keep an eye out for the next gentlemens club beers.

usually they are a friendly bunch.

and making connections with people - people like talking about themselves and a good listener is always in demand.

have you thought of doing a ballroom dancing class - guys are always in demand as partners ?

a few years back i sort of got in a rut and said next invite i get to anything I am going.

it was a holistic yoga & whatever day invite that arrived at the office.

the class itself was a disaster but i made friends with a lady there at the class who i went to coffee and is one of my best friends today

Flashgordon197

I would suggest you back to counselling to deal with the underlying depression. Otherwise the depression might imped your social progress as it seems to be a bit of a default position with you. Groups are excellent to join as you dont feel under pressure to be there all the time and its activity based.

Mzzz.use421

We are all essentially doing time. Its how we spend our time that can really make things either extremely mundane and predictable or a little bit exciting.
Keep in mind i am a total lunatic and this is probably not what the average joe does to liven things up a bit but it works for me.
Me and my girlfriend who will totally let you kiss her by the way because she is soooo nice and easy go to the thrift store and spend twenty bucks on a new identity.
In real life i am a very boring average girl with terrible taste in fashion. But some saturday nights i will do my best to look like penelope cruz that night and talk with a really bad accent and hit on jerks i am not really that into. Its uncomfortable the first time but when you're like three minutes into it it can be amusing.
doing time blows ass but you can totally spend your time being someone who is somewhat interesting:)

Ickle Magoo

Welcome to PI Mzzz.use421,

Could I please ask that you refrain from using capitalization for your entire posts as online that's know as shouting - and that you acquaint yourself with the forum charter HERE re mature and constructive advice.

Many thanks