Advice

PTH2009

Im going with a girl for almost 6 months now.

We get on really well but a few thing worry me.

1. She wont hold hands with me
2. Shes very quite
3. She takes forever to reply to text messages
4. She has a lot of gay friends and a few nites ago (I had a few drinks in me) i saw her danicing closly with some guy and i kind of freaked out because i thought the guy wasant gay.
5. She wont met my parents.

I dont want to lose her, i told her i will try and mingle more with her friends, be less protective. I want to be a louder person, Not drink as much (or not drink vodka through a straw).

Any Advice

silly

sunflower27 wrote: »

What is wrong with her dancing with another guy?

.

While I agree with most of your post I don't understand this. There's alot wrong with it, I wouldn't like to be going out with someone and then spotting him dancing closely with another girl. I'm not sure many people would be ok with it, it's got nothing to do with insecurities it's about respect.
But for the rest, yeah, stop txting her so much, she's obviously not a big txter.
Don't pressure her into meeting your parents, when she feels ready she'll most probably let you know.

ElleEm

PTH2009 wrote: »

Im going with a girl for almost 6 months now.

We get on really well but a few thing worry me.

1. She wont hold hands with me
2. Shes very quite
3. She takes forever to reply to text messages
4. She has a lot of gay friends and a few nites ago (I had a few drinks in me) i saw her danicing closly with some guy and i kind of freaked out because i thought the guy wasant gay.
5. She wont met my parents.

I dont want to lose her, i told her i will try and mingle more with her friends, be less protective. I want to be a louder person, Not drink as much (or not drink vodka through a straw).

Any Advice

I agree with Sunflower.

Some people don't like holding hands.

Has she not been quiet since you met? Or is this a new thing?

Some people take ages to reply to texts. Some people don't reply at all. Maybe she prefers talking on the phone to texting.

Fair enough if you got a bit jealous of her dancing with a guy, but regardless of whether he was/ wasn't gay, you should still trust her not to want to run away with someone else.

6 months is a short time, maybe she doesn't want to commit to meeting your parents yet. Do not push her on this. Some people really hate the "meeting the parents" bit of relationships.It may be an insecurity on her part but it is her choice. Maybe revisit it in a few months.

I have read a few of your posts before, about your relationship, and you seem to be very insecure and invested in your relationship with this girl. You need to lighten up a bit. Trust in the fact that she is with you cos she likes you. If you keep questioning every single little thing about her/ your relationship/ why this/ why that, your relationship may not last too much longer.

PTH2009

Texting- Im not a big texter. I would text only about 4 or 5 times (depends on what here reply was) . If i send the first text and she doesent reply i dont send another one. I feel texting everyday is a bit much.

Talking-Im not a big talker but i want to change. Certain things i would feel very uncomterble talking about is Sex. i dont like talking about it whether only banter or not.

Dancing- Im not a huge dancer and the only i was mad was because i had too much drink in me and was probly only half tuned in. I siad to myself after i got over my hangover i will try and dance. I can move when i want too.

Drink- I seem to drink to get confidence. I feel i have to drink a few drinks when im out because it makes me feel a bit more comfortable. One thing i must stop is drinking vodka through a straw because it doesent agree with me and would blow your head off.

Holding Hands- I like holding hands but theres nothing i can do about it. If i keep attempting to hold hands than things could turn ugly.

I love my life the way it is. I dont like conflict. I want to make myself feel happy. Shyness is a hard thing to get rid off but if i work hard enough and people support me (give me time) i will be better

gmac102

PTH2009 wrote: »

Texting- Im not a big texter. I would text only about 4 or 5 times (depends on what here reply was) . If i send the first text and she doesent reply i dont send another one. I feel texting everyday is a bit much.

Talking-Im not a big talker but i want to change. Certain things i would feel very uncomterble talking about is Sex. i dont like talking about it whether only banter or not.

Dancing- Im not a huge dancer and the only i was mad was because i had too much drink in me and was probly only half tuned in. I siad to myself after i got over my hangover i will try and dance. I can move when i want too.

Drink- I seem to drink to get confidence. I feel i have to drink a few drinks when im out because it makes me feel a bit more comfortable. One thing i must stop is drinking vodka through a straw because it doesent agree with me and would blow your head off.

Holding Hands- I like holding hands but theres nothing i can do about it. If i keep attempting to hold hands than things could turn ugly.

I love my life the way it is. I dont like conflict. I want to make myself feel happy. Shyness is a hard thing to get rid off but if i work hard enough and people support me (give me time) i will be better

i dont think you should shoulder all the blame here... from what im getting i would say she is cautious .....I have a thing about holding hands makes me uncomfortable.... used to drive my ex nuts he'd have to make bets with me to hold my hand... and hug me actually!! cool it on the drink but hey if i saw my man dancing wit a girl and i didnt know she was gay, i would leave the club, so i dont think ur wrong... i dont know how much u txt so i cant comment but some ppl arent phone ppl... i have a friend she drives me mad when i txt her even if its important she takes hrs to reply she just never looks at her phone r leaves in anywere
i go thru stages of being shy with ppl, sometimes it stops me talking to ppl and i appear rude but i get this fear inside and its crippling!!

hope my opinion helps and just be yourself

Chinafoot

PTH2009 wrote: »

Dancing- Im not a huge dancer and the only i was mad was because i had too much drink in me and was probly only half tuned in. I siad to myself after i got over my hangover i will try and dance. I can move when i want too.

OP, this really stands out for me. You don't need to dance if you don't want to. She was dancing with her friend. It's not like she's going to dump you because you're not into dancing. Why do you think you need to "try and dance"?

Stop overthinking things OP. You'll create problems for yourself otherwise.

Chinafoot

gmac102 wrote: »

if i saw my man dancing wit a girl and i didnt know she was gay, i would leave the club, so i dont think ur wrong...

If your boyfriend was dancing with his female friend you'd leave?

I'm sorry but that would be an extreme overreaction.