Too much contact?

LegacyUser

I'm wondering about how much is too often to text somebody?

Basically I was out on a date with a girl, went great and we said we'd organise another when she was back around after the holidays. I asked was it OK to text her over the holidays to which she replied of course.

I was initiating the texting all the time, every 2-3 days and we'd have a good conversation. I gave it a break during xmas and text her again about a week later on Friday last but she didn't reply until late that night when she was out and a little drunk! I was actually awake so we were texting away for a while.

I sent a message yesterday evening wishing a happy new year etc but no reply as yet. I'm not impatient or anything but I just wanted to know am I over doing it with the contact or is it about right? I just want to strike the right balance of not seeming over eager but showing I'm interested in her. I would phone her but considering we've only been on one official date it could be a bit soon.

I'm nearly 100% certain she's interested in me because on our date there was a lot of flirting, leg/arm touching from her, she initiated the kiss at the end of the night and the biggest clue when she said "Don't worry if I didn't like you I'd be gone home by now!". Plus I met her for the first time in a nightclub the week before and spent about 2 hours together talking and having a sneaky kiss!

It might seem like I'm over-analysing but I'm petrified of messing up. I haven't been attracted to somebody this much in a long time, if ever.

gmac102

moreadviseplease wrote: »

I'm wondering about how much is too often to text somebody?

Basically I was out on a date with a girl, went great and we said we'd organise another when she was back around after the holidays. I asked was it OK to text her over the holidays to which she replied of course.

I was initiating the texting all the time, every 2-3 days and we'd have a good conversation. I gave it a break during xmas and text her again about a week later on Friday last but she didn't reply until late that night when she was out and a little drunk! I was actually awake so we were texting away for a while.

I sent a message yesterday evening wishing a happy new year etc but no reply as yet. I'm not impatient or anything but I just wanted to know am I over doing it with the contact or is it about right? I just want to strike the right balance of not seeming over eager but showing I'm interested in her. I would phone her but considering we've only been on one official date it could be a bit soon.

I'm nearly 100% certain she's interested in me because on our date there was a lot of flirting, leg/arm touching from her, she initiated the kiss at the end of the night and the biggest clue when she said "Don't worry if I didn't like you I'd be gone home by now!". Plus I met her for the first time in a nightclub the week before and spent about 2 hours together talking and having a sneaky kiss!

It might seem like I'm over-analysing but I'm petrified of messing up. I haven't been attracted to somebody this much in a long time, if ever.

dating ive come to know is a minefield, whats right whats wrong, am i txting to much, not enuf


i say go with what feels right and if it doesnt work out it wasnt meant to be

whats for you wont pass you by

lumjm

from a woman's point of view it sounds if she hasn't replied to the last one she's losing interest, texting gets boring and you probably should of asked somewhere between these conversations can i call you, or just rang her. If she has or does reply i suggest you call her, just chat and see when she wants to go out again. Or if you feel this is a bit forward, do something else like add her on fb. If you dont get a reply at all dont contact her again, you have shown you're interested and she should have initiated something at this stage, if she doesn't she's not bothered.

greenprincess

There might be a good reason, I had lost my phone last night and only got it back tonight. But maybe try arrange a date soon to create a bit more 'spark'.

LegacyUser

Hey, OP here.

Thanks for the replies. The thought did cross my mind that she may be losing interest but that being said she never gave any indication that she was losing interest up till this instance of no reply if I'm making sense.

But she did point out very early on that she's a terrible texter and often forgets to text loads of people back. I don't think this was a smoke screen for when she decided she'd had enough of me. This was before we even went on our date. I would've phoned but as I said in my other post we'd only been out on one proper date so I thought it'd be a bit soon.

I obviously know her name so I could add her on fb but that's more contact and I could come across as desperate for attention. There were definitely sparks on our date but because of the holidays she wasn't around for 3 weeks so maybe when she's back it'll kick off again. I know you say don't contact her again but when I know for certain she's back I feel like I should just ask about our pre-arranged date 2. At least that way I'd have a difinitive answer.

I'm not sure why but I kinda get the vibe from her that she thinks I'm messing with her, as in I shouldn't be attracted to her. Which couldn't be further from the truth. If I compliment her she gets embarrassed and says I shouldn't say those things and shes not as great as I think. Even the first night I met her she said something like "Shouldn't you be off looking for better looking girls than me?" Maybe it's a confidence thing...I dunno!