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unsure if too old / too big a gap

  • 02-01-2012 2:14pm
    #1
    angeldaisy
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 2,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all, I'm mum to a lovely but challenging 6 (almost 7) yr old and will be turning 41 this year. I'm also a full time student half way through my degree. I'm not sure if I want another child, but equally am not sure that I don't. I would hate to regret not having another child.
    My main worries are I guess that I would be too old, it would interfere with college or that my son wouldn't take to a new arrival. Anyone been or going through anything similar??


Comments

  • #2
    Betsie_xr3i
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,954 ✭✭✭Betsie_xr3i


    coming from a different side, i am the yougest of a family of 4 i am 27, have 2 sisters and a brother my eldest sister is 18 yrs older then me, my other sister is 16 years older then me and my brother who is the next youngest is 11 years older then me, i never felt anyway different or left out, in fact i had 3 mothers really haha and as for my brother we are the best of friends cant imagine anything different, my mother is in her 70's and my father sadly passed away a few years ago from cancer but i had the best family life ever.


  • #3
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    I have a 9 year old with autism and I really hope I'm able to have more!! I'm also studying full time:) I'm a bit younger than you but I don't think the age thing is as big a deal as it was. If you feel well, go for it! And I'm sure your doctor/midwife will monitor you closely if you have concerns. Best of luck:) x


  • #4
    woggie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 256 ✭✭woggie


    I've seen a quote on many ttc forums when people ask these questions - "you'll never regret a child you had, only the ones you hadn't".

    also, i've read that the number of years between children does not necessarily impact on them becoming friends - i.e. people having babies within a year or two of each other so that they will play together doesn't always work out - it is the child's personality/interests etc that determine whether they will get along. that said it's unlikely a 6year old will be eager to play baby games but he might let his little brother join in when he's 3 - even if it's just as the victim!

    I was 7 when my mum gave birth to my sister (i already had 3 older siblings that i played with regularly) and I really felt at the time that i was ready to 'not be the baby' but i was a bit jealous of the new arrival when i realised there wasn't enough room on mammys lap for two of us, that said it didn't last long!

    with regard to the age, I had my 2nd child at age 39, it was a vast difference to when i had my first at age 26, i was much more tired and did not enjoy the 9 months as much as i had with my first pregnancy. so i would advise you to get fit and healthy (if you're not already) as you will definitley feel the difference! Also, i'm now 41 and trying for my last baby and it is taking a lot longer than we'd anticipated, so you really do need to think about it seriously as it could take up to a year to concieve (even if you didn't have any issues with your first).


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