don't drink but feel left out

Lola B

Hi guys,

Just wanted to see what people think of this... I don't like drinking for a few reasons, first I'm into my health and think it's pointless to ruin all the hard work drinking, also my step dad is an alcoholic who can't do anything social without drinking, which gave me a bad attitude to drink a long time ago, I'm also going out with someone that doesn't drink that much either.

Because of this I don't enjoy going to nightclubs, and since I'm a 20 year old student I'm the odd one out of all my friends. They are heavy drinkers. They have also decided that I don't like going out because I'm in a relationship which is not true! I love meeting them during the day and all that.

Lately I've feel like I'm alienating myself from my friends because of my dislike of drinking, does anyone else feel like you have to be a drinker in Ireland if you want a social life??

saintsaltynuts

Lola B wrote: »

Hi guys,

Just wanted to see what people think of this... I don't like drinking for a few reasons, first I'm into my health and think it's pointless to ruin all the hard work drinking, also my step dad is an alcoholic who can't do anything social without drinking, which gave me a bad attitude to drink a long time ago, I'm also going out with someone that doesn't drink that much either.

Because of this I don't enjoy going to nightclubs, and since I'm a 20 year old student I'm the odd one out of all my friends. They are heavy drinkers. They have also decided that I don't like going out because I'm in a relationship which is not true! I love meeting them during the day and all that.

Lately I've feel like I'm alienating myself from my friends because of my dislike of drinking, does anyone else feel like you have to be a drinker in Ireland if you want a social life??

Stay true to yourself cause drinking in this country is overated big time.Stay with the guy/girl you have and dont give into peer pressure whatsoever.Do what you want to do and listen to heart as far is drink is concerned.Trust me.

Wingman2010

Please stick to your decision and stay strong. I'm only a few years older than you and I don't drink. Tonight is probably only the 3rd night I've stayed in the last three weeks. I still go to pubs and clubs the whole time. Saying that I think drink is the curse of this country imo. Please pm if I can help in any way!

baby and crumble

OP, I do drink, just not a huge amount so it's easier to say I don't drink. I've always been like this, all through college, but I personally never let it stop me going out. I was never a huge fan of nightclubs, but I used to go every now and again (twice a month, maybe) just for the craic- I found, judging from peoples stories etc that I was having just as much fun as them!

My personal opinion here is that the majority of 20 year olds are sheep. Their friends drink so they do. They see drinking on tv, so they do. And someone not going along with the status quo is a bit of a conundrum for people like that- especially if they're not happy with being a sheep but they don't have that confidence yet.

So my advice to you is go out some night with your mates, don't think about drinking, or them drinking, but go out, have some sugary drinks and just have fun- go home early if you want, before it all goes mad (because tbh most people won't remember you went home early at things like that, they just remember you were there in the first place) and then you've had a good night!

BrensBenz

I agree with above supportive responses. Irish teens / 20's don’t go out to drink – they go out to get smashed. Their night is considered a failure if they can remember how they got home! So, fair dues to you and your principles - please don’t feel odd because you don’t conform to the mob.
The really sad thing is that we (non-drinkers) will have to pay for their liver treatments in years to come and, in the meantime, pay inflated car insurance premiums because, as we all know, “we drive better after a few jars.”
Perhaps your example will help to create a civilized / European-type relationship with alcohol within your group.
And yes, we all know an uncle’s vet’s cousin’s workmate’s postman who takes the odd pint at Christmas so, when confronted with that age-old repost, advise them that the Irish are not very good at moderation….in anything! Then ask them to take a walk around Temple Bar on the morning after the night before. Bring wellies! Or visit A&E after the pubs close.

Lola B

Thanks guys for the kind responses I will try to keep them in mind when I'm with my friends and they're acting like I'm the crazy one. Yea I would love to be able to go out to nightclubs sober and enjoy it, because at the moment my solution has been to avoid them, maybe I will eventually!

CHRIS JERICHO

you feel left out because your Boring

Lord TSC

Chris Jericho....not just a troll on television. :P

(Yeah, non wrestling fans won't get that one :P)

Effluo

There's a few very ignorant and big generalisations being made on this thread...

BrensBenz wrote: »

Irish teens / 20's don’t go out to drink – they go out to get smashed. Their night is considered a failure if they can remember how they got home!

Pah!


To the OP, I'm just visiting this forum & as someone who's been out on nights on the town when sober & also drinking a lot. I can safely say that I can enjoy both, for different reasons.

I'm not the anti-drink brigade, I'm sure some of the posters here would consider me to be, "part of the problem". Unlike most of the posters, I'm not going to remind you how much better you are than your friends for not drinking and to be honest I don't think talking to your friends about how, "I'm going to be paying for your liver transplant", is going to win you any brownie points or help them accept the fact that you don't drink.



Personally I see your problem in a few parts, firstly you feel excluded because you miss out on much of your current friend's social activities. I know within my own circle of friends that generally we'd talk about in the day is, what happened last night!

For me pubs & nightclubs are primarily social gatherings and I can enjoy them whether drinking or not. It seems to me that for some reason you don't see them in the same way.


You mentioned that you feel like the odd one out. I know a load of pioneers who don't drink and head out on the town and nobody even thinks about it! Although your friends might oft' say it to you, if you started heading out with them every night after a while it wouldn't even occur to them any more!
People don't care whether you drink or not if you're having a laugh with them. If there is any stigma about non-drinkers it's not that they're no fun, it's that they can be preachy.


Maybe another reason why you don't enjoy clubs is down to the drunk people and how they act. You mentioned your step-father's drinking, I've lived with an alcoholic before and often I'd be out and see him on the face of another drunk stumbling around the room. To say the least, it's an affliction which any time I'm reminded about it, turns me inconsolably sombre.
Although I can't think what it would be like to have an alcoholic in my family, statistics show that anyone who does have an alcoholic in the family are more likely to be pioneers. For good reason too no doubt.


I don't know if this post has helped you or not, but I think my advice would be to look a little more deeply into why you don't enjoy yourself when out in the pub & try work it from there. The exclusion you're feeling right now won't be solved by you learning how evil drink is and maybe the only way to overcome your exclusion is your dislike of nightclubs.
If you don't fancy that, I'm sure you'll hear this from a million different people and it's the uninspired answer, but get involved in a society/club xD


Either way all the best in whatever you do

razzlero

As a non drinker I usually find drunk people pretty intimidating (Even if they are friendly drunks) so I don't like being surrounded by them. Though as well as that I actually find pubs and clubs very boring, but I think that's just my personality.

In Ireland there is a severe lack of alternative entertainment. The one place where you do find it is in colleges. College clubs and societies give a completely different way to socialise, and I have a lot of like minded friends who I can have fun with because of this. Most of my close friends don't drink often, and some of them also don't drink at all.

Though after college or for people who don't go to college, unfortunately there are very few alternatives, though some places do exist.

languagenerd

I'm also 20, a student and have never been a drinker.

I don't like clubs, mainly because of the music, so I usually go to rock bars. Most of my friends drink but we've had great nights both all sober and when they're all drunk except me.

I dunno. I don't think nights out are completely off-limits to non-drinkers (except maybe recovering alcoholics who would feel awful in a pub) - maybe you just need to find something that suits you better than clubs?

As long as you don't criticize other people for drinking, it should be fine. Ireland does have a warped attitude though - where drink = fun, so not drinking = no fun? - but that can be challenged

fatwarren

op all you have to do is go out on one sober night in ireland and just see how overated it is. irelands only a good place to go out when you're drunk but not when you're sober. in fact its pretty **** going out here when you're sober since you rarely meet anyone else who is