What is he doing?

LegacyUser

Hey, just posting for a wee bit of advice!
Back ages ago (approx 10 months ago) my then boyfriend deleted me and blocked me on facebook. At the time I didn’t understand why as we had been going out for over a year at that point. I later found out that he had been contacting other girls through the site (hence my blocking). My ex also refused to change his relationship status throughout our time together, he particularly refused to include on his page that I was dating him.

So fast forward to now and we have decided to keep seeing each other (although we are not officially dating). We have decided to not see other people, only each other, a decision will be made on the future of the relationship at some point soon. The thing is, he still won’t add me as a friend on facebook and I am still blocked. He insists that my asking is irrelevant but I really don’t see how it is? He is friends with all of his other exes but not me? The primary reason he gives for his refusal is that his friends will “start asking questions”, but I don’t accept this, I think there is something deeper going on here. So I am asking if this is normal behaviour? He insists that I am "paranoid" but I don't think I am!

LovelyLottie

Trust your gut instinct. If someone can't do something small like add you on flippin' facebook to put you at ease, that is the least of your problems. He doesn't sound very nice or worth going out with at all.

Some guys love to play the 'women are paraoid/crazy/nuts/insane' card because they know that it hits a nerve. And might shut us up. But it's only used by guys who are trying to hide something or are trying to divert from the real issue. You're not paranoid. But are you being honest with yourself and him about what you really want by restarting the relationship?

Zen65

xveryconfusedx wrote: »

So fast forward to now and we have decided to keep seeing each other (although we are not officially dating). We have decided to not see other people, only each other, a decision will be made on the future of the relationship at some point soon.

What does this mean? Who will make the decision??

At this stage, after this length of time, if you're not "officially dating" then this relationship is going nowhere, and he's doing his best to ensure that you remain disposable.

My advice would be to forget him, and move on.

Be at peace,

Z

solerina

Finish with him and move on.....he obviously doesnt really care about you, Im sure he has loads of friends on Facebook and if he wont add you it says it all.....Finish it before he does !!

rbag

As the previous posters say, it's time to walk away.

I would finish it with him and move on and not give him a second thought.

BarackPyjama

Finish it. In fact, just blank him completely. No contact, delete his number, etc. Sounds like her deserves it.

nowyouresix

OP : I'll be honest, and you may think harsh. You're setting yourself up for a major fall. You're totally wasting your time with this guy. He is hiding from you and you are allowing it. You don't have a relationship. Never make someone a priority when you are just an option.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

I was in a similiar situation although different circumstances. I had the utmost of respect for a chap who had no respect, courtesy or empathy for me or my feelings. I was certainly not smothering of him and gave him plenty if leeway and his behaviour dragged me down.

I urge and beg you please to take the advice that you read here and finish this farce with this <mod snip> or you will fell worse in the long run if you don't. You may be clinging onto hope that things and he will change but he won't. He's calling the shots here to treat you like sh1te.