Not sure if depressed, don't really know what to do.

LegacyUser

The last few years have been difficult to me, even though none of my difficulties would be what society would understand as serious problems. I feel like I've had to deal with troubles amplified in my own head which nobody else understands leaving me to deal with them alone.

I'm a 24 year old guy, in full health, a university masters graduate in an industry with high demand and logically I feel like i should think I have the whole world at my feet and should be incredibly grateful, optimistic, excited and happy.
I feel none of these things anymore and to me it seems like I've changed as a person hugely in the past few years.

A couple of years back which was possibly the start of all this, I was a student in college enjoying life and had lots of friends. One summer my lifelong pet passed away at home, I was distraught and never quite knew how to grieve or get over it. I had dealt with the death of my grandparents before but when everyone around me was more upset than me, there was huge ceremonies and events in commemoration. It just in general took the burden of the loss off me when everyone shared it, with a pet it seemed like it drew a mention on the day and that was that. It was all my burden and was very difficult to deal with, especially when society expects you to have forgotten about the next day.

I feel like after that episode I started having issues around people close to me, that I subconsciously started pushing them away. I can say this in retrospect because to this day I've isolated myself to such an extent that I'm practically alone in life. Distanced from my siblings, I haven't kept in touch with friends since college, I haven't made an effort to make any new friends and even online gaming communities I was apart of I left. As for Facebook I just stopped logging on to it.
It's not something I would have done in the past so I can only assume its part of the change in me.

For moods, in the past I had problems with social anxiety although (for reasons stated above) that doesn't really happen anymore with very little social contact in general. I feel more contented right now not having to deal with the complications of others but I don't think this is healthy.
My apathy for others and life in general was highlighted a bit over christmas when I no longer felt excited for the holidays, family visiting, gifts. None of it interested me. For the new year, I didn't go out and while New years eves past have varied what I'd done any night that I'd stay in I'd usually feel miserable and that I was missing out. Last night I felt satisfied and content in my isolation, which again doesn't seem healthy.

I don't know how to explain my thoughts any other way, other than I don't feel like a normal person in society so assume there must be something up with me. I don't know if these are signs of depression or not, there's nobody I can really talk to it about.

Taltos

OP we are not permitted to give any diagnoses on this forum. Please go speak with your GP and ask for a referral to a professional.

Thread closed.

Taltos