Depressed and want to leave job

LegacyUser

I've been severly depressed for over a year or more now and want to leave my job...not permanently of course but it looks like i might need to.

I discussed with my manager leave of absence and it was made clear there would be no guarantee of having a job once I feel good enough to come back..

I've got no dependents and no mortage or debts so having no job for a few months wouldn't be a problem.

Some of the factors for being depressed are because of people at work and I've explained that to manager but there's little sympathy so it's hard to know what i can do.

Just looking for some advice.

BTW: I don't want to go down the road of taking drugs for depression as I don't see that as a solution.

Taltos

OP - I am moving this post to the Work and Jobs forum.
As you have already sought medical advice and your post is more inline with how to manage your job and your direct manager I believe moving this to the appropriate forum is the best approach we in PI can take.

Taltos

smcgiff

For this forum to help you may need to give more work related info - for example, do you feel bullied at work?

deelite

Not sure if your firm have an occupational worker - you could and speak to them. I don't think any job is worth your mental health suffering. Is there somebody higher than your manager you could speak with, personally I would try to hold onto the job as it gives you somewhere to go on a daily basis I don't think sitting at home will help as it may make matters worse. I hope things get sorted for you.

LegacyUser

@smcgriff

It would depend on what you consider bullying.

There are a few people with responsibilities that would scrutinise my work more than others and ensure accountability which would seem normal on the surface for a manager or supervisor but these people aren't in those roles, they're simply a grade up in a senior position and mainly delegate for my real manager. (he is travelling most of the time)

So, for example, being late 5-10 minutes some mornings; these people would tell management i'm a "poor time keeper" yet their friends could be 15-20 minutes late some days and nothing is said...they might also take long lunch breaks and nothing would be said...this would be unacceptable for me and would be brought to attention of management.

A lot of the criticism is unjustified.. some would be valid but malicious..
Of course, I make mistakes from time to time, nobody is perfect but I make no more than anyone else on our team.

The problem is each occasion seems to be an opportunity to point the finger at me and say "oh look what he messed up today" which goes further to chipping away what reputation I have as a good employee.

I'm prevented from undertaking a project because the seniors want their close friends on the team to do those instead despite the fact I might be more competent for the job.

I've never received 1 complaint from other people I work with.. it's just the few people who love to be in charge all the time and give orders that I can't seem to deal with.

These people behave like supervisors or managers but they're only a grade up from me in a senior role and the only reason they got their positions is because they like to boss people around and constantly be in contact with management...that's it.

My manager claims these individuals are "demanding" and "like to throw their weight around" ...if by that he means be a bully, then yes that's exactly what they do, bully people.

I believe the reason my manager is defensive on the issue is because they handle a lot of his workload which is basically telling everyone else what to do.

They're just nasty people and I'm unsure how to deal with them to the point where I don't care anymore and from the sounds of my manager, he doesn't seem too bothered whether I stay or go.

I'd rather just leave and get something better but feel I need a month or 2 to recharge.

@deelite

I probably could go to manager higher up but it might place me in a worse situation as that person is even less sympathetic unfortunately.

Mrs OBumble

fedupjohn: what exact advice are you looking for here?

I think you should follow your doctor's suggestions re taking a break from work. And if the advice you're getting re treatment doesn't work for you, then try a different GP. Clinical depression is a serious illness, with a range of treatment options. Though it may be exaggerated by workplace stress, stress itself is not generally the cause - only a doctor and/or qualified counsellor can help you work out the underlying cause and therefore what to do about it, not people on an internet forum.

TBH, the behaviour you're complaining about doesn't sound that bad. More senior people getting the manager's work done, being delegated supervisory responsibilities when the manager is out of the office, ... yep, that's what they're getting the senior grade pay for ... and in fact, a manager's job is simply to get stuff done, through people.

smcgiff

First the tough love... Being late or taking long lunches is not right, just because others can get away with it is beside the point. Your employer pays you for according to certain basic rules. Also, whether it has been specifically stated or not it looks like your manager has delegated supervision duties to the seniors. It may be best to just accept this.

However, for whatever reason you feel overwhelmed - if your doctor gives you a sick leave note for time off, your employer would be very slow to sack you over this.

Also, ask for a meeting with your manager, and if you feel you are being bullied:) let him know, if they then ignore your complaints you MAY then have a case of constructive dismissal.

Also, I presume you have tried looking elsewhere. For work.

Ultimately your health must come first and taking financial/people commitment s into account you may feel you have to leave.

Good luck

smcgiff

On my phone and having difficulty editing. First shouldn't be there!

mikemac1

I can relate to a lot of your post. So I'll add what I can

So, for example, being late 5-10 minutes some mornings; these people would tell management i'm a "poor time keeper" yet their friends could be 15-20 minutes late some days and nothing is said...they might also take long lunch breaks and nothing would be said...this would be unacceptable for me and would be brought to attention of management.

Yes this goes on in many workplaces. People fall in late and hungover while you're get pulled for being five minutes late.
The attitude here is to not give them an excuse to hassle you.
In my workplace I never want to talk to a manager or senior, the only reason I talk to them or they talk to me is if there is a problem.
If you are on time every morning they cannot pull you over it. So be there on time and the issue is solved. Don't get stressed over what others do, yes some will get away with murder but they don't pay you supervisor wages so it's not your problem

A lot of the criticism is unjustified.. some would be valid but malicious..
Of course, I make mistakes from time to time, nobody is perfect but I make no more than anyone else on our team.

You don't know that though. Yes everyone makes mistakes and you know your own.
But how do you know the standard of your teammates work? You don't check every part of it. It's possible you are making far more mistakes.
You need to organize a meeting here

I'm prevented from undertaking a project because the seniors want their close friends on the team to do those instead despite the fact I might be more competent for the job.

Again a meeting is needed

These people behave like supervisors or managers but they're only a grade up from me in a senior role and the only reason they got their positions is because they like to boss people around and constantly be in contact with management...that's it.

There are clowns and little Hitlers who work as seniors however most got their job as they excelled at your job and got to step up.

I believe the reason my manager is defensive on the issue is because they handle a lot of his workload which is basically telling everyone else what to do.

Delegation, that's what managers do.

OP, you need to:

• Be assertive, if a senior is picking on you then stand up for yourself
• Arrange a calm, clinical meeting with your team leader and ask to hear every issue they have with your work. Then next summer come back and say "See, I hit all your standards, now give me more so I can aim at it"
• Ask them if there are any mistakes out there you are unaware of. Maybe they catch your errors and you don't see them. If you involved in a loss or risk then say you take ownership and want to go to all meetings and be involved in all parts of it
• Stop stressing over your teammates. You are not paid to do it
• Finallly walk in every morning and aim to do the job at such a fooking standard then nobody in the entire place can ever question you

I'm thinking the seniors have you labelled as an underperformer and while this may be unfair, it's your job to prove them wrong and make them eat their words dammit

Don't get angry, just prove them all wrong

I'd rather just leave and get something better but feel I need a month or 2 to recharge.

Grass isn't greener OP, don't stay if you're stressed and it's bothering your mental health but I think you should give it a lash until summer

What you're describing in your workplace is not that bad realy

thrilledskinny

fedupjohn wrote: »

I've been severly depressed for over a year or more now and want to leave my job...not permanently of course but it looks like i might need to.

I discussed with my manager leave of absence and it was made clear there would be no guarantee of having a job once I feel good enough to come back..

I've got no dependents and no mortage or debts so having no job for a few months wouldn't be a problem.

Some of the factors for being depressed are because of people at work and I've explained that to manager but there's little sympathy so it's hard to know what i can do.

Just looking for some advice.

BTW: I don't want to go down the road of taking drugs for depression as I don't see that as a solution.

Hi, I always want to leave my job when i'm depressed.
I've been dealing with depression for the last three years and anxiety i guess. Now I'm not feeling depressed I work myself up so much about work, I cant bring my self to go in !! mad I know, but its a major anxiety for me.
Am at the point of resigning if I dont go back this week, as it v embarrassing saying I'll be back in but then not being able to go back in.

Problem with depression is often that 'making it in on time' lark. And once you bring your self to the attention of those around you or your boss due to an aliment your 'targetted'.
Just like you I cant be five minutes late but the rest of the world can be.

Also just like you I'm not in the 'in crowd' at work, and get left out of a lot of stuff or not included....

Sorry I'm rambling.....
If i had no commitments...but unfortunately I have a mortgage.....i'd leave, as i'd love a break from the stress and anxiety of just think about work....have been out sick a good few months now but that isnt a break as i've constantly been worrying about getting back into work, and paying my mortgage...

chat more if you like to help u decide...

BornToRun88

I'm the same, here's a post from another thread to give you all insight

I'm seriously considering quitting my job. I've been there 7 months now. First 3 months I was happy there on a part time flexi basis working 20-30 hours per week but when I went full time it went downhill. First I went into the butchers in the shop where I got bullied and harassed by the head butcher and left after 3 weeks. I was moved back onto the shop's floor staff but into the car park. Out in the cold, collecting trolleys and bits of cleaning which bores me to death. I can't help think I'm better than this and that I was put on this crappy job by the head butcher for revenge. I've asked the managers how long would I be on this job but they won't give me an answer. I even threatened to quit. Still there 3 months after I issued that threat but I'm nearing the end of my tether. My mind is at me all day on that job. Not knowing how long I'll be doing this or even if I'll ever get off this job is upsetting me deeply. I have an interview for a part time job this Wednesday, really hope I get it, especially when I have going back to college in mind so I'll need a part time job. Otherwise I'll quit my job in March when I will have done that crappy job for 6 months. Now I'd stay if they take me off the car park before that but I doubt that. 9 weeks to wait to claim jobseeker's allowance tho....jaysus!

The job has put me down so much that I saw a counsellor about it in November. I hate getting up early in the morning for it. I just can't go on anyway. All my heart has gone out of that job and the place I work where sexism is prevalent, management/staff divide is rife, views of staff aren't listened to and chances of promotion are poor.

InReality

My advice would be to talk this out with your GP. Put your work to one side for the moment , take some sick leave ( after seeing if your GP agrees ) , and then get some help to look at your work situation , like talking to aware , samaratins , consellor , psychitrists etc.


People are becoming more and more aware of how Depression / Anxiety can be triggered by workplace problems.

I personally think its very very common. Unfortunatly its very difficult to deal with any work once you are depressed.

But go by the advice of someone you can trust , GP etc.

btw I've gone through and am going though similar stuff , in my case now for the 3rd time !

COYW

fedupjohn wrote: »

I'm prevented from undertaking a project because the seniors want their close friends on the team to do those instead despite the fact I might be more competent for the job.

I have worked in a fair few medium to large sized companies in Ireland and this type of thing seems to be a fact of life. It is an extension of Irish cronyism and sadly it isn't going to disappear that quickly. All I can say is to get as much as you can out of the place in a career sense and move on when it suits you.

Annoyed.com

im extremelly depressed in my job, im being bullied and singled out over stupid little things that no-one else gets picked on about. the managers are nearly as bad as if not worse as the other staff. i get the worst hours, every other member of staff apart from one or two are just plain nasty and bitchy to me for no reason, i have done nothing wrong on these people and im at the stage now where im crying every day before i go in to work. i dont know what to do, im just about surrving on the crappy wages i get as im earning less than all social welfare. i cant even sign on for the days im not working as they wont sign the nessecary paper work i need for the social welfare. i really dont know what to do, im at my wits end. no body seems to care

Mrs OBumble

Annoyed.com wrote: »

im extremelly depressed in my job, im being bullied and singled out over stupid little things that no-one else gets picked on about. the managers are nearly as bad as if not worse as the other staff. i get the worst hours, every other member of staff apart from one or two are just plain nasty and bitchy to me for no reason, i have done nothing wrong on these people and im at the stage now where im crying every day before i go in to work. i dont know what to do, im just about surrving on the crappy wages i get as im earning less than all social welfare. i cant even sign on for the days im not working as they wont sign the nessecary paper work i need for the social welfare. i really dont know what to do, im at my wits end. no body seems to care

Go and see your doctor.

If s/he signs you off work, then you will be eligible for welfare.

You may also get some suggestions about organisations like Citizen's Information who may be able to convince the employer to give you the paperwork needed for the other days.

Annoyed.com

JustMary wrote: »

Go and see your doctor.

If s/he signs you off work, then you will be eligible for welfare.

You may also get some suggestions about organisations like Citizen's Information who may be able to convince the employer to give you the paperwork needed for the other days.

thank u very much for your advice