OTT friend... A story from tonight

LegacyUser

I've known this friend since I was very young. we've always had our little arguments. He never liked any other friend I had, always wanted to have me to himself. Got very angry if I couldn't make it to a night out with him because I was going out with other friends.
We were meant to go to a pub tonight... but got pissed off when he found out my friend was joining us... so basically, said "if youre changing the plan by bringing him, were going to this club" this club is awful... and i mean.. AWfUL. so, my other friend, didnt want to go to this club ... so didnt turn up.


we went to the club... its new years eve, so we're all buzzed up to kiss some girl.
It comes, I kiss one of his sisters friends, he kisses another one of his sisters friends.. happy days! The night goes on, he drags me to the dancefloor away from the said girl I kissed... and wants me to be his wingman... I try my best, but he's having none of it. The end of the night comes along, and we walk home... but he tries to make a deal with me... "if one friend scores.. the other has to score" basically, his deal was that if one of us got the ride... we cant ditch the other one, leaving the said person with no ride lol. I'm like, yeah whatevs, because this was meant to be for a said holiday coming up. SO, the girl I kissed earlier catches up with us; (i thought she went home.. me being a little tipsy..) she grabs my hand and says hey. So I said, i'll walk you home, since she is on the way to my house. I walk with her, and shout to said friend, "see ya tomorrow yeah?" because he walked the other direction.

He then somehow appears out of nowhere outside the girls house, when I was saying goodbye to her.... he said "come back to mine and have a few... she can come along too..." im like.." i dunno, im pretty tired I want to go home."- because i was pretty tired at this stage!! he says" ah its cool you can both crash on the couch, cos everyones gone to bed anyway..." I still refused... because I was pretty drunk and didn't want to act the bollocks in front of this girl... so basically, he went off... shouting "traitor!!!!...you abandoning ****!!"
and preceded to call me asking me to fight him. I eventually got home.. ignoring his calls.. and he says.. "im going to hang myself if you dont come out here... it'll all be on you!!" this pissed me off big time, because the summer prior, I had to save my friend from committing suicide. so i had a rant with him... saying he was being stupid... and saying just go home to bed.

I still dont know if he has gone home yet. But, I dont know what do do with him. He has been my best friend for years, but he has no other mates... so i'm his only person to turn to. Then again he gets very pissed off if I see other friends.

How do I deal with a friend like this.. He only lives up the road from me.. and ive known him since i was a kid

tinkerbell

OP he is not a friend, he sounds crazy. Like that is nuts what he said to you at the end of the night when you wouldn't go to his house. There's a reason that guy has no other friends coz nobody else will put up with his crap. Why should you have to put up with his crap?

Telling you that he will kill himself and that it will be all your fault is completely unforgiveable, that is not on, you don't do that to your friends. My advice is to drop him, he sounds like he has no redeeming features at all. And so what that you've been best friends, things change, people move on, or in your case you realise this guy is no good for you whatsoever. He is controlling, aggressive and downright nasty the way he goes on to you, so why would you want to keep this toxic friendship going?

Big Bag of Chips

What do you get out of this friendship? Nothing, it would seem.

You sound quite young, and I know up to a certain age its all about your friends and being a good friend etc... after a certain age you start having less tolerance for d**kheads and start suiting yourself more.

I am early 30s, have a house and family, and very little time for bulls**t! So I am only friends with people I like spending time with. I have drifted away from some people, and I have met new people who I know will be my friends for many many years.

The biggest favour you can do this fella is tell him you are really pissed off with him over his carry on, and then stay away from him for a while. Let him actually see that you ARE pissed off. If you keep chasing him around, or giving in to his demands on you, he will never stop.... why would he?

cafecolour

Hmm. Maybe he's gay, clearly having issues dealing with it, and has a bit of a crush on you?

Is it all male friends that he's jealous of? Does he push for things with sexual overtones (ala 'lets have a ****' or, as vaguely suggested in your post, try and 'encourage' sharing a girl together)? How are his dealings with women?

I could also be completely off, so don't overanalyze it if it doesn't seem the case, but your descriptions of his behavior made me think of it.