Tonight

Padkir

Quick summation:

Out with my girlfriend at a concert, we both have to travel about 2 hours in the morning to go home for her, work for me. She says we'll go home early enough because of that.

We meet a friend of hers from college whom we've had numerous arguments about becasue she's infatuated with him, talks about him constantly, thinks he's brilliant, etc.

I've never met him, this was the first time I met him and was making an effort. At 1, I say I'm going home, she decides to stay to go to a different pub with him and a few of his friends.

I'm a little pissed off, she says I'm being unfair.

Am I??

miaowmiaow

Since this issue has already caused tension between you two then I think she should've been more mindful of how her staying out with this guy is going to make you feel.
Sure, you're a bit jealous, but for good reason. A relationship is all about compromise, and if her wish to stay out with a guy who you believe has infatuated her leads to her driving you away, then she isn't dealing with the responsibilities of being in a relationship. She knows how you feel about this guy, so her going out with this guy and his friends seems selfish.

Is there anything else that's coming between you two? You're not being unfair, to be honest I think that she's trying to make you feel like the bad guy by accusing you of not being fair, as then she can justify going out with this guy.

I hope your fears are unfounded, but you have to let her know this is stressing you out and that's not fair, whether or not she does fancy some other guy from college.
It sounds like there could be other stuff going on too though, whatever the case you two need to talk. Don't argue if possible, try keeping cool, 'cause if both of you want this to work you both need to put in the effort to understand each other. I hope things work out.

curlzy

Hey OP,

Red flag to me is her making you feel like a bad guy here. How could you feel anything but paranoid if she's changing plans to go hang out with a guy she's made clear she's "infatuated with". I second SF though, how do you know this? Has she said any of that out straight or could it he's just a good friend and the green eyed monster isn't justified, hard to say without knowing more. BUT if she has openly said that she's infatuated and it's not an assumption on your part then I think what she did is selfish and disrespectful and hurtful to be honest.

Best of luck.

Kevin Duffy

Padkir wrote: »

Quick summation:

Out with my girlfriend at a concert, we both have to travel about 2 hours in the morning to go home for her, work for me. She says we'll go home early enough because of that.

We meet a friend of hers from college whom we've had numerous arguments about becasue she's infatuated with him, talks about him constantly, thinks he's brilliant, etc.

I've never met him, this was the first time I met him and was making an effort. At 1, I say I'm going home, she decides to stay to go to a different pub with him and a few of his friends.

I'm a little pissed off, she says I'm being unfair.

Am I??

This is the point at which I'd be questioning what's really going on between them. I don't think you're being paranoid or unfair if your only issue is with her relationship with this guy, rather than all other men. I think she was completely out of order.

I am a friend

Why are you with someone who is infatuated with another guy? Especially seeing as she is friendly with him. Sorry op but it sounds a bit pathetic. If she likes someone and it's not you then what are you doing with her?

reap-a-rat

I'm running the risk of pissing off Padkir here but here it goes anyway...

I'm the girlfriend, and I'm going to give my side of this! We were out at the gig, and Padkir said that he'd probably go home early enough because we had to travel today. I said that's fair enough, good idea, I'll come with ya. However, then we bump into Mr E we'll call him. Now, Padkir maintains I'm infatuated with him, which simply isn't the truth and we've spoken about this on a number of occasions. I think that this man is sound, great craic, great personality all round, gets the general nod of "I would" that myself and Padkir share about people we find attractive.

For a while I admit I had a major crush on this guy, but it was never, nor ever will be, reciprocated. The fella is married with kids for God's sake!!! And as time went on, the crush wained, and now I see him as a friend, someone to have a laugh with, someone who I have an awful lot of respect for.

For the last few months I've been finding it harder and harder to go out, because so many nights end up the exact same. I think I'm maturing ahead of my friends in that I want something different from a night out, not predrinks ->bar+shít dj ->niteclub+worse dj every single time we go out. So we went to this gig which I was really looking forward to and both really enjoyed it.

Afterwards, we got talking to Mr. E, having a drink and a laugh, meeting new people in place with a nice crowd and unreal atmosphere, and I have to say I was really enjoying this. For the last week nearly I have been constantly banging on to Padkir about how much I'd just like to go somewhere for drinks and a chat and the craic instead of going to a cattlemart and shouting to people. Last night, it was finally happening and I was loving it! Drink was flowing, company was great (not just Mr. E's), all was right.

So Padkir decides to call it a night. I'm thinking, go home to bed and rest up for the journey (though I have nothing on today, Padkir does though) or stay out, continue the merriment and have the good night I was longing for. I picked the latter, and that upset Padkir. By the time I realised how mad he actually was, I admit I said fúck it, he's mad now whether I come home now or stay out another while, so I stayed out! I feel like an utter cúnt and I feel really selfish, but it wouldn't be the first time that I would have gone home and the two of us would basically spend hours crying over something so small, and I didn't want that, I wanted a good night, shoot me!

I'm just giving my story here and ye can believe it or not. But I love Padkir with all my heart, he's my best friend and most of the time our relationship is perfect, we get along like a house on fire and I don't think I could ever find someone I'm more compatible with if I searched the earth for 400 years. I never ever intend to hurt you Padkir and you should know that:( I just think that Padkir needs to get over the crush like I have and let me move on and not try to control who I hang out with by making me feel guilty about spending time with certain people!

By the way, Mr. E knows absolutely nothing about the crush, to him I'm just another girl, another drinking buddy etc. There was not and never will be anything going on between him and I! I grew up in a family that had fallen asunder because of an affair, and I'd be damned if I'd ever have the disrespect to inflict that pain on anybody, Padkir, Mr. E, or his family. Because its shít.

We talked at length last night about the issue, but he's still upset, in all fairness I don't blame him. But I really hope he can find it in his heart to forgive me because my life without him isn't really a nice life at all, he is my life.

floorpie

Your bf can't read your mind, can he? He can only go on what he saw, and what he saw wouldn't have been very nice.

Here's his perspective: you admitted that you had a crush on this guy (you say you weren't infatuated and subsequently described how infatuated you were :S), you explicitly say "you would" (or, would have, but that makes no difference to your bf), your bf has never met this guy, a guy who you've both had arguments about before, you have plans with your bf to head home on this particular night, run into this guy, and change your plans entirely to stay out with this guy, leaving your bf to go home upset.

To me, it's not really good enough. It's easy to say "i didn't mean to upset you" after it's all over. I'd be severely disappointed with the whole situation.

I just think that Padkir needs to get over the crush like I have and let me move on and not try to control who I hang out with by making me feel guilty about spending time with certain people!

This isn't a good attitude to have.

reap-a-rat

floorpie wrote: »

Your bf can't read your mind, can he? He can only go on what he saw, and what he saw wouldn't have been very nice.

Here's his perspective: you admitted that you had a crush on this guy (you say you weren't infatuated and subsequently described how infatuated you were :S), you explicitly say "you would" (or, would have, but that makes no difference to your bf), your bf has never met this guy, a guy who you've both had arguments about before, you have plans with your bf to head home on this particular night, run into this guy, and change your plans entirely to stay out with this guy, leaving your bf to go home upset.

To me, it's not really good enough. It's easy to say "i didn't mean to upset you" after it's all over. I'd be severely disappointed with the whole situation.


This isn't a good attitude to have.

Can you honestly say that you've never changed your plans before after circumstances changed? Where's the spontaneity in life if you stick rigorously to plans? Also, neither of us mentioned it, but Padkir explicitly stated at one stage, "I'll be going home soon enough, but you can stay if you want".

Also, I didn't know when he was leaving that he was upset, it was in the barrage of texts after he got home that I found that out.

It's true I am not infatuated with him, I may have been at one stage but that phase has well and truly run its course! And aswell, the "You Would" thing is something we do all the time, I was never aware that it was a problem before, he says it to me all the time and me to him, it doesn't mean "I will", its a joking acknowledgement that you find somebody appealing!

Do you think it's ok that in a relationship one partner should be allowed to have control over who the other spends their time with? Really? Because that, to me, sounds like a very bad attitude to have!

I'm not picking a fight, and I do accept its difficult to give advice when you're not up on all the details of the whole relationship. Thanks for replying, honestly, but I really don't like everyone getting the idea that I'm taking Padkir for a ride, I absolutely love the lad and I hope one stupid decision won't make him stop loving me!

floorpie

reap-a-rat wrote: »

floorpie wrote: »

Your bf can't read your mind, can he? He can only go on what he saw, and what he saw wouldn't have been very nice.

Here's his perspective: you admitted that you had a crush on this guy (you say you weren't infatuated and subsequently described how infatuated you were :S), you explicitly say "you would" (or, would have, but that makes no difference to your bf), your bf has never met this guy, a guy who you've both had arguments about before, you have plans with your bf to head home on this particular night, run into this guy, and change your plans entirely to stay out with this guy, leaving your bf to go home upset.

To me, it's not really good enough. It's easy to say "i didn't mean to upset you" after it's all over. I'd be severely disappointed with the whole situation.


This isn't a good attitude to have.

Can you honestly say that you've never changed your plans before after circumstances changed? Where's the spontaneity in life if you stick rigorously to plans? Also, neither of us mentioned it, but Padkir explicitly stated at one stage, "I'll be going home soon enough, but you can stay if you want".

Also, I didn't know when he was leaving that he was upset, it was in the barrage of texts after he got home that I found that out.

It's true I am not infatuated with him, I may have been at one stage but that phase has well and truly run its course! And aswell, the "You Would" thing is something we do all the time, I was never aware that it was a problem before, he says it to me all the time and me to him, it doesn't mean "I will", its a joking acknowledgement that you find somebody appealing!

Do you think it's ok that in a relationship one partner should be allowed to have control over who the other spends their time with? Really? Because that, to me, sounds like a very bad attitude to have!

I'm not picking a fight, and I do accept its difficult to give advice when you're not up on all the details of the whole relationship. Thanks for replying, honestly, but I really don't like everyone getting the idea that I'm taking Padkir for a ride, I absolutely love the lad and I hope one stupid decision won't make him stop loving me!

Ok maybe I'm biased, because I've been in a similar situation to your bf and I wish id paid attention to certain red flags far sooner than I did. I wasnt cheated on or anything, but the lack of responsibility and disregard that seemed evident in the similar situations eventually pervaded every aspect of the relationship, and I just had to get out.

I'll sum it up (because I'm on a phone and can't type) by saying that you're going to make him feel paranoid and controlling about a situation that was FULLY in your control, and which he had every right to be iffy about. Worse than that, between all the apologies, you're effectively blaming him.

You see it as him trying to keep you under the thumb, without giving enough credence to how much you can undermine the trust, the basis, of a relationship, with situations like this. Again, he can't read your mind, so he can't *assume* a state of trust, it's each persons job to inspire it, and to me, you're not inspiring it. But again, I might be biased.

Mighty_Mouse

IMO op is behaving a little immaturely.

There's always going to be people in your social circle your OH will fancy. Its human nature. Hence the need for trust.

Its not as if OH & her crush were supping vino over candle-light. There was a bunch of mates having a real good night.
Sounds like fun to me.
Personally I would of stayed, but certainly wouldn't expect my OH to dutifully follow me home.

reap-a-rat

floorpie wrote: »

Ok maybe I'm biased, because I've been in a similar situation to your bf and I wish id paid attention to certain red flags far sooner than I did. I wasnt cheated on or anything, but the lack of responsibility and disregard that seemed evident in the similar situations eventually pervaded every aspect of the relationship, and I just had to get out.

I'll sum it up (because I'm on a phone and can't type) by saying that you're going to make him feel paranoid and controlling about a situation that was FULLY in your control, and which he had every right to be iffy about. Worse than that, between all the apologies, you're effectively blaming him.

You see it as him trying to keep you under the thumb, without giving enough credence to how much you can undermine the trust, the basis, of a relationship, with situations like this. Again, he can't read your mind, so he can't *assume* a state of trust, it's each persons job to inspire it, and to me, you're not inspiring it. But again, I might be biased.

I get what your saying, I do. I have to say that I think the trust in our relationship is very strong from both sides, except with Padkir when it comes to Mr E. There's a guy from our home town that Padkir knows I fancy the arse off, but he jokes about it all the time. In fact, he has even "threatened" (jokingly) to tell your man that I think he's the bee's knees. It doesn't seem to bother him at all that I like your man! (Can I say for the record that Padkir also has some people that he thinks are all that, and if he got the chance and had my blessing, he would (and I probably wouldn't blame him;) )

But the difference is that he knows that guy, he doesn't know Mr. E from Adam, and I think that's where it all stems from, he can't trust that what I'm saying about Mr. E is true because he doesn't know him. I have to say I was delighted when Padkir was making an effort last night to not hate Mr. E for no good reason, but the fact remains that he still has this jealous streak running through him, that if he doesn't know the man in question, he gets very cagey, which in one way is understandable and is kinda sweet but at the same time it can make me feel uneasy and untrusted! Dya know?

floorpie

reap-a-rat wrote: »

floorpie wrote: »

Ok maybe I'm biased, because I've been in a similar situation to your bf and I wish id paid attention to certain red flags far sooner than I did. I wasnt cheated on or anything, but the lack of responsibility and disregard that seemed evident in the similar situations eventually pervaded every aspect of the relationship, and I just had to get out.

I'll sum it up (because I'm on a phone and can't type) by saying that you're going to make him feel paranoid and controlling about a situation that was FULLY in your control, and which he had every right to be iffy about. Worse than that, between all the apologies, you're effectively blaming him.

You see it as him trying to keep you under the thumb, without giving enough credence to how much you can undermine the trust, the basis, of a relationship, with situations like this. Again, he can't read your mind, so he can't *assume* a state of trust, it's each persons job to inspire it, and to me, you're not inspiring it. But again, I might be biased.

I get what your saying, I do. I have to say that I think the trust in our relationship is very strong from both sides, except with Padkir when it comes to Mr E. There's a guy from our home town that Padkir knows I fancy the arse off, but he jokes about it all the time. In fact, he has even "threatened" (jokingly) to tell your man that I think he's the bee's knees. It doesn't seem to bother him at all that I like your man! (Can I say for the record that Padkir also has some people that he thinks are all that, and if he got the chance and had my blessing, he would (and I probably wouldn't blame him;) )

But the difference is that he knows that guy, he doesn't know Mr. E from Adam, and I think that's where it all stems from, he can't trust that what I'm saying about Mr. E is true because he doesn't know him. I have to say I was delighted when Padkir was making an effort last night to not hate Mr. E for no good reason, but the fact remains that he still has this jealous streak running through him, that if he doesn't know the man in question, he gets very cagey, which in one way is understandable and is kinda sweet but at the same time it can make me feel uneasy and untrusted! Dya know?

He doesn't have a jealous streak, he's the same as most guys and doesn't like the idea of his girl choosing to stay drinking with someone she has/had a "major crush" on rather than going home with him, as planned. This isn't controlling or unusual.

So not only did he not stop you from staying out, he even made an effort to be friendly. I dont see the problem from your bfs side, but again, biased.

Also I hope you didn't use the same excuse to explain that nothing could happen with this guy to your bf btw: nothing could happen because he's married...a strange defence if ever I heard one.

reap-a-rat

Whether he's married or not is irrelevant really, I'm not a cheat and I never will be one, even if Mr. E was!

I commend Padkir, as a partner he does everything right, he really does! I'm not saying that what I did wasn't idiotic, but last night that's not how I saw things, I didn't realise he was upset until he had already left, and then I admit I was a selfish cow by staying out because I wanted a good time! I can't even be sure what the exact issue is, but I think it's not that I stayed out, it's that I stayed out in the company of a man that he is wary of, even though he has been assured over and over that there is nothing there!

It must have been shocking going through that all the time for you, always being disrespected and not having the relationship taken seriously by your partner, but I can promise you that this is not like that, I cherish Padkir and I hold him the highest regard and I feel I do a pretty good job of showing that to him, but last night I messed up and I put my own feelings/fun-having ahead of his, and for that I'm truly sorry. I'm not sorry, however, that I was hanging out with Mr. E and his friends, because it shouldn't be an issue!

floorpie

reap-a-rat wrote: »

Whether he's married or not is irrelevant really, I'm not a cheat and I never will be one, even if Mr. E was!

I commend Padkir, as a partner he does everything right, he really does! I'm not saying that what I did wasn't idiotic, but last night that's not how I saw things, I didn't realise he was upset until he had already left, and then I admit I was a selfish cow by staying out because I wanted a good time! I can't even be sure what the exact issue is, but I think it's not that I stayed out, it's that I stayed out in the company of a man that he is wary of, even though he has been assured over and over that there is nothing there!

It must have been shocking going through that all the time for you, always being disrespected and not having the relationship taken seriously by your partner, but I can promise you that this is not like that, I cherish Padkir and I hold him the highest regard and I feel I do a pretty good job of showing that to him, but last night I messed up and I put my own feelings/fun-having ahead of his, and for that I'm truly sorry. I'm not sorry, however, that I was hanging out with Mr. E and his friends, because it shouldn't be an issue!

Ok once again you're after invalidating all of your apologies by saying that it shouldnt be an issue; your boyfriend isn't omnipresent, he can't read your mind, therefore of course it can be an issue. And I mean, it's superfluous for me to say that it could be an issue, because your bf wrote about it on a personal issues board, therefore its sn issue. You can surely use some imagination and empathy and figure out why he might be upset, no? Put yourself in his shoes, without assuming that you could read minds if you were him...

reap-a-rat

floorpie wrote: »

Ok once again you're after invalidating all of your apologies by saying that it shouldnt be an issue; your boyfriend isn't omnipresent, he can't read your mind, therefore of course it can be an issue. And I mean, it's superfluous for me to say that it could be an issue, because your bf wrote about it on a personal issues board, therefore its sn issue. You can surely use some imagination and empathy and figure out why he might be upset, no? Put yourself in his shoes, without assuming that you could read minds if you were him...

But I am sorry, I'm sorry for staying out when I knew he was upset at home, it was an awful thing to do! I'm not sorry that I was out with Mr. E and his friends!

I know that he's upset because in his eyes I chose another man, a stranger to him, who I admitted I used to have a big thing for, over him. But in reality, and I've explained all of this, that's not what actually happened. For me, it wasn't a case of choosing Mr. E ahead of my own boyfriend, for me I chose to stay out and have fun rather than go home and go to bed.

I'll go out on a limb here and say, yeah I'd be pretty pissed too if I were him, initially. But having heard my side of the story and the explanation, I honestly think I'd accept that jealously was clouding my perspective and what happened was, in fact, altogether innocent!

A while back, Padkir was away on a day trip and was scheduled to arrive home that night. I was looking forward to his arrival, but I got a message to say that he was having such a good time that he was now going to stay the night and get a lift back in the morning. I was gutted, i had been looking so forward to seeing him at a time when our time together wasn't that plentiful. I was upset. But then I said to myself, look, cop on, he's having a great time and who are you to ruin that for him by telling him that you're pissed that he changed his plans and isn't coming home? You should be happy he's enjoying himself, happy that he's happy. And that's the point I'm trying to make, that is what I want Padkir to do! Does that make sense or am I waffling?

floorpie

reap-a-rat wrote: »

floorpie wrote: »

Ok once again you're after invalidating all of your apologies by saying that it shouldnt be an issue; your boyfriend isn't omnipresent, he can't read your mind, therefore of course it can be an issue. And I mean, it's superfluous for me to say that it could be an issue, because your bf wrote about it on a personal issues board, therefore its sn issue. You can surely use some imagination and empathy and figure out why he might be upset, no? Put yourself in his shoes, without assuming that you could read minds if you were him...

But I am sorry, I'm sorry for staying out when I knew he was upset at home, it was an awful thing to do! I'm not sorry that I was out with Mr. E and his friends!

I know that he's upset because in his eyes I chose another man, a stranger to him, who I admitted I used to have a big thing for, over him. But in reality, and I've explained all of this, that's not what actually happened. For me, it wasn't a case of choosing Mr. E ahead of my own boyfriend, for me I chose to stay out and have fun rather than go home and go to bed.

I'll go out on a limb here and say, yeah I'd be pretty pissed too if I were him, initially. But having heard my side of the story and the explanation, I honestly think I'd accept that jealously was clouding my perspective and what happened was, in fact, altogether innocent!

A while back, Padkir was away on a day trip and was scheduled to arrive home that night. I was looking forward to his arrival, but I got a message to say that he was having such a good time that he was now going to stay the night and get a lift back in the morning. I was gutted, i had been looking so forward to seeing him at a time when our time together wasn't that plentiful. I was upset. But then I said to myself, look, cop on, he's having a great time and who are you to ruin that for him by telling him that you're pissed that he changed his plans and isn't coming home? You should be happy he's enjoying himself, happy that he's happy. And that's the point I'm trying to make, that is what I want Padkir to do! Does that make sense or am I waffling?

Ok, now imagine how you'd feel if, that time he texted, he said "I'm not coming home to see you because I'm having too much fun with that girl I used to have a major crush on, night!", you'd still have the same reaction?

And just to clarify, my relationship was mostly great, just like yours is. It was far from how you described mine. I just dont think you're understanding how far you can undermine things with seemingly innocuous things. Especially when it's turned around onto you and suddenly you're the controlling one...it's confusing and unpleasant, being in that situation, and not one that I'd stay in again, no matter how perfect the other 98% of the relationship is.

G-Money

Are you over this crush reap?

If I was going out with a girl, the last thing I'd want to hear is her talking about some guy she fancied. By the same token, I wouldn't be talking about girls I fancied. Famous people are different, but if it's regular people in your social circle, then there's much more chance of it causing trouble, like here.

It seems like an unhealthy habit if I'm honest.

I don't know, but when I read your replies there was something missing from them. Like you are saying all the reasons why something can't happen as opposed to you saying you are not interested in him in that way, don't want something to happen which to me, would be more reassuring.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, and I'm not there so I can't tell what it's really like. But it sort of seems like if this guy wasn't married or whatever, you'd be interested in something happening, even if Pakdir was on the scene. Not saying you'd ever cheat on him, but perhaps he's getting a feeling of being 2nd best or the only reason you're not with this guy is that he's married.

reap-a-rat

That's a fair point I suppose, but I guess that's where the trust is supposed to come into play!

I never meant to undermine the relationship and all I can say is I'll tread a lot more cautiously in future and try to step into his shoes before making decisions like that again. He'll tell you himself I'm a bitch for not thinking things through sometimes but its seriously something I've got to start working on, not even just in relationships, in life in general! Thanks again for all the advice and perspective!

reap-a-rat

G-Money wrote: »

Are you over this crush reap?

If I was going out with a girl, the last thing I'd want to hear is her talking about some guy she fancied. By the same token, I wouldn't be talking about girls I fancied. Famous people are different, but if it's regular people in your social circle, then there's much more chance of it causing trouble, like here.

It seems like an unhealthy habit if I'm honest.

I don't know, but when I read your replies there was something missing from them. Like you are saying all the reasons why something can't happen as opposed to you saying you are not interested in him in that way, don't want something to happen which to me, would be more reassuring.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, and I'm not there so I can't tell what it's really like. But it sort of seems like if this guy wasn't married or whatever, you'd be interested in something happening, even if Pakdir was on the scene. Not saying you'd ever cheat on him, but perhaps he's getting a feeling of being 2nd best or the only reason you're not with this guy is that he's married.

I see where you're coming from. I can say in all honesty that I don't want anything to happen with Mr. E, and if the opportunity ever arose I wouldn't hesitate to get away from it at all. At the same time, though I don't feel any lust towards him anymore, I still enjoy his company a great deal, and I hate the idea that a past crush is getting in the way of a friendship, insofar as that I don't want to feel guilty being out with him (which isn't often, and its never one on one) because my boyfriend can't get past the fact that I used to like him. Maybe he'll come around in time and I hope he does.

As I said earlier, I would never cheat on Padkir, with anybody, because I know how much that stuff hurts people, and I'm a carer not a hurter, and I'm a loyal girlfriend even if I'm a jackass!

iGenius

Not sure why you're getting such a hard time here.. Your explanation seems perfectly legitimate to me.

In fact, you seem like a really nice girl and 100% trustworthy. Count yourself lucky, Padkir.

fungun

This is where give and take comes into play imo. You arent doing anything *wrong* as such. But if you know your bf (who in all else is great, with other male friends too) has a thing about this one person who you do think is great and clearly makes him feel insecure, then surely you naturally feel like minimising interactions with this guy to help your bf out? In the same way that you would hope he would too if the situations were reversed.

Its not 'right' that he asks of you not to stay out with this guy but imo it would be nice that you offer it. If I was your bf, Id be a bit cross that you didnt care about my feelings enough about this guy specifically, than the fact that you actually went out.....and the fact that you stayed out later suggests its a bit of a sticking point for you too.

Taltos

OP & Reap - an internet forum is not the right place to talk through your issues.
As a result I am closing this thread.

OP - if Reap is not your girlfriend - please contact one of the mods to reopen this thread.

Taltos