Why does he ignore me sometimes and kiss me other times?

LegacyUser

Theres a guy I know, I first met him through a friend of a friend on a night out about a year ago. I mostly only know him from going out to clubs at the weekends. Sometimes when we are both out he will approach me and we will kiss (nothing more). Other times he won't even look at me and walk right by me!

He has my number and texts me sometimes to ask to meet up, but either I can't make it or he cancels last minute. Then he might not talk to me again for months. We met up once before and got intimate but didn't have sex.

What is up with this guy? He's definitely not the shy type so I don't think that could be it! A big part of me thinks he only wants to get into my pants. I'm not an easy target though and sometimes I say no when he approaches me and sometimes I let him get his way. Same as for texting. Sometimes I text back and sometimes I won't.

Is it possible I am just driving him crazy with the fact that he can't tick me off his list of girls? I really don't know what to think! Any advice? We are both early twenties by the way!

He's using you

forget about him and move on

Big Lar

sunflower27 wrote: »

As bluewolf put it so succinctly, he is using you.

If he was actually interested in pursuing something more than just sex, he'd not be leaving it months to contact you.

Doubt he is using you, just for a kiss ????????

Ask him the next time :-)

username123

sunflower27 wrote: »

Using for an ego boost.

Yep, he likes to think he can be with you or ignore you as he pleases. Because sometimes you say no there is an element of 'will she wont she' for him as well.

But the main thing is this - how low is your self respect that you would bother even speaking to someone who blanks you in public on occasion!!! Seriously! If someone behaved like that towards me and didnt seriously apologise for it or have a VERY good reason for it, Id just never bother my barney speaking to them or acknowledging them again, let alone kiss them!

Firetrap

Oh who knows? Maybe when there's nobody better around he contacts you? That maybe some time when he's with you he might get his leg over. Anyway, the only sensible thing to do here is avoid him. Why waste your thoughts on a man who doesn't even acknowledge you on the street when it doesn't suit him?

G-Money

He just contacts you when he's horny. When he's not, he doesn't.

It's as simple as that.

LegacyUser

Hi everyone OP here with a little update!

I went out last night and had a little too much to drink and ended up having sex with this guy! (he was sober by the way.)

I feel terrible today, really used! I guess its my own fault though.
He texted me today and said he only wanted no strings sex and he really spoke down to me making me feel twice as bad. He comes across so arrogent now that he has gotten his way!

I feel so stupid and regret every second!

Tigger99

Confused&Annoyed wrote: »

Hi everyone OP here with a little update!

I went out last night and had a little too much to drink and ended up having sex with this guy! (he was sober by the way.)

I feel terrible today, really used! I guess its my own fault though.
He texted me today and said he only wanted no strings sex and he really spoke down to me making me feel twice as bad. He comes across so arrogent now that he has gotten his way!

I feel so stupid and regret every second!

Hey stop giving yourself a hard time. You got drunk and slept with a guy you fancied. Ok, his behaviour has been appalling, especially speaking down to you today, but hopefully you can just draw a line under this and move on. I'm not suggesting that will be easy, but deep down you know that its the right thing to do.

This guy did you a favour, showing you for once and for all that he's not good for you. Fair enough his previous actions should have been a sign, but i know myself how the rose tinted glassed can come on with someone you like

So, stop beating yourself up ok?

Kimia

Confused&Annoyed wrote: »

Hi everyone OP here with a little update!

I went out last night and had a little too much to drink and ended up having sex with this guy! (he was sober by the way.)

I feel terrible today, really used! I guess its my own fault though.
He texted me today and said he only wanted no strings sex and he really spoke down to me making me feel twice as bad. He comes across so arrogent now that he has gotten his way!

I feel so stupid and regret every second!

Stop beating yourself up about it but do learn from this lesson. You had a major inkling that things were not right with this guy and you went ahead and slept with him. Don't make the same mistake again.

When you meet someone that you really like and when they really like you, you won't be confused and annoyed - you'll feel really happy. That's what it's supposed to be like.

Leave it in the past now and move on. And naturally don't speak to this douchebag again.

Logical Fallacy

Confused&Annoyed wrote: »

Hi everyone OP here with a little update!

I went out last night and had a little too much to drink and ended up having sex with this guy! (he was sober by the way.)

I feel terrible today, really used! I guess its my own fault though.
He texted me today and said he only wanted no strings sex and he really spoke down to me making me feel twice as bad. He comes across so arrogent now that he has gotten his way!

I feel so stupid and regret every second!

Well you ignored your own misgivings and made a mistake, no real point in beating yourself up over it.

The guy is obviously a bit of an asshole, just ignore him and move on.

I am a friend

Op just ignore him and his texts... You made a mistake and learned the hard way that he is an a-hole.... Blank him and do not sleep with him again.

Firetrap

I know you feel roughly the size of an ant today but what happened is a good thing in the long run. At least now you know beyond doubt what he thinks of you. Your head was telling you that there was something wrong but your heart wanted something more with him. Now that there's no ambiguity at all, you can consign him to history and in time be open to meeting someone else.

curlzy

Hey OP, I'm going to put this very, very, simply:

People can only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.

You can hardly give out about him blanking you and using you for sex (he sounds like a total d*ckhead by the way) if you allowed him to do it. He blanked you time and again and you went back for more! Why? Tell you this girl, any guy that blanked me on the street wouldn't be getting a 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance and he certainly wouldn't be getting into my bed. Work on building your self-respect, mine would never allow me to be used like this, the first time someone treated me like that would be the last time I went near them.

Best of luck.