Church Wedding For Second Marriage

King Krib

This has probably come up before but anyway. I have been married before and am due to marry my fiancee in the next 18months or so , no date has been set yet. My other half would love to have the traditional church(catholic) wedding and I think itsi unfair she should lose out because of my past. Is there anyway around this, I think at this stage the church should be doing what it can to bring people back in, I would appreciate any advice.

campo

King Krib wrote: »

This has probably come up before but anyway. I have been married before and am due to marry my fiancee in the next 18months or so , no date has been set yet. My other half would love to have the traditional church(catholic) wedding and I think itsi unfair she should lose out because of my past. Is there anyway around this, I think at this stage the church should be doing what it can to bring people back in, I would appreciate any advice.

I believe it can be done but you need special permission from the bishop or something like that and even then chances are slim unless you are marrying Daniel O'Donnell

January

An anullment from the Church is what you need. http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/civil_annulment/nullity_of_marriage.html

tinkerbell

January wrote: »

An anullment from the Church is what you need. http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/civil_annulment/nullity_of_marriage.html

^^which is very very difficult to do.

King Krib

Can a priest give the ok?

Toots

For an annulment? It's a whole church council that decides on that and it can take years for them to reach a decision. I know someone who is going through it at the moment and he's been at it 5 years and has only just gotten confirmation that the marriage will be annulled. There's also no guarantee that if you apply for one that it will be granted. If you want a dispensation to marry in the church it's the bishop that has to decide on it, although from what I hear it's difficult to get. Really the best thing to do is to speak to your local priest about it, or if you know anyone who is friendly with a priest ask can you speak to them and sound out what your options would be.

Moonbeam

you might be able to have a church blessing.

prettygurrly

agreed with moonbeam...a church blessing is the only way to go. get the legal bit done in a registry office and then do the whole white wedding after....otherwise get married in a church of Ireland church. ok it's not catholic but it's a church and connected to god and christian...ticks a lot of boxes. C of I churches are also really really beautiful...

King Krib

prettygurrly wrote: »

agreed with moonbeam...a church blessing is the only way to go. get the legal bit done in a registry office and then do the whole white wedding after....otherwise get married in a church of Ireland church. ok it's not catholic but it's a church and connected to god and christian...ticks a lot of boxes. C of I churches are also really really beautiful...

Would both of us have to convert for this to be a possibility?

watna

King Krib wrote: »

Would both of us have to convert for this to be a possibility?

It depends on the Minister/Vicar, I think. They are options other than C of I as well. There's presbyterian or methodist or even a baptist church. I think if you found a sympathetic Minister it would be possible, you'd just need to do a bit of research. Some Ministers I know are very flexible and some are far more strict (e.g. in a friends church he will only marry the couple if one of them is a member of the church and attends regularly). It's all the one god at the end of the day as well though, isn't it? If you found the right minister who would be flexible you could get the ceremony you wanted as well.

Or as others have said you could just do a blessing in a Catholic church, if it means that much to your fiance.

prettygurrly

i spoke to my rector in delgany church one day about this actually. he said he'd happily marry anyone. obviously a donation would be nice but in your situation then why not, you love each other, you're committed, it's not a marriage of convenience, i dont see them having any problem with it.

also my cousin was married by the rector in greystones in my uncles back garden (ugh) 17 years ago (i was a litte bridesmaid at it, too old to be flower girl) and both herself and the husband are catholic. i know she definitely is anyway. they aren't parishioners of greystones as they both live in west dublin...

tatli_lokma

Moonbeam wrote: »

you might be able to have a church blessing.

this is a good idea, and worth checking out, but again it is up to the priest concerned. We originally looked into having a blessing (mixed marriage) but were told in no uncertain terms that a blessing of marriage is not acknowledged by the catholic church, you cannot just 'bless' a marriage, you have to accept the sacriment of marriage and agree to raise any children of the union as catholic. This was despite my personally knowing of 2 other 'marriages' that were blessed in the church. I didn't feel the need to argue the point with him, as to be honest I was quite glad to have an excuse of not getting married in a church.

When it comes to marrying in a catholic church there are very set and determined rules....however, even priests can decide when and where to bend or break these rules, so ultimately, although you shouldn't be able to marry in a church as you are divorced, it has been known to happen, as have blessings.

Really, what you need to find is a sympathetic priest and take it from there.

Best of luck!