Help with elderly alcoholic father

Katiecoen

My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. My father is not coping with the idea at all and is now refusing to get up or eat, drinking a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of brandy every week, being abusive to my mother and also to me when I try to talk to him about his drinking, his diet or my mother's diagnosis.

Where can i access help? He is never going to admit that he has a problem or willingly seek treatment. He will get up and drive to town when he needs more booze, other than that he lies in bed all day or sits looking at tv.

username123

Hi, the sorry truth is that you cant help an alcoholic. They have to want to help themselves. There are things you can do to assist the situation and your role in it. You could go to Alanon for support and to learn how not to enable the situation or inflame it even further. Another option is to gather up other concerned people (siblings, aunts, uncles etc..) and try an intervention with your father - where the people involved speak to him honestly and explain the effect his drinking is having on them and offer him support if he tries to get off the drink. Unfortunately this doesnt work a lot of the time, but it could be worth trying.

You dont give a lot of detail in your post as to how extensive your fathers drinking was before he found out about your mothers diagnosis, but is it possible that this is just a reaction to the shock of it? If thats the case then maybe an offer of support and maybe counselling for him to come to terms with it will help? Was he drinking alcoholically prior to this? Has he seen a doctor himself regarding not eating etc...?

Morag

Get in touch with the social worker for your area who is assigned to elderly people and your local clinical care nurse. They can advise you and let you know what supports are available.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/find_a_service/hospscancer/Portiuncula/Care_of_the_Elderly.html