Trouble Ejaculating during Sex

ucdmike

I've recently started going out with a girl and often when we have sex I have trouble ejaculating. I know you often hear of guys cumming to fast but I have the opposite problem! When I masterbate I generally ejaculate pretty quickly but at times it can be very annoying during sex not being able to cum. Anyone able to offer any advice?

Canluum

First of all don't worry there's nothing wrong with you. For some reason it is expected that men are automatically capable of orgasm from intercourse when often it just isn't the case, and when it isn't it just takes some practice.

Your penis has been "trained" to ejaculate in one way, it will need to learn other ways. Try different positions, and have fun practicing.

If I could offer any advice for making sex less frustrating and hopefully more enjoyable for you both in the short term... take the emphasis off orgasm. Make it about the journey and not the destination. And then when that journey is over, you can finish on her chest (for example).

Tigger99

I agree with the above poster on everything he said apart from the example of coming on her chest. Many women would find that disrespectful, especially if you hadnt talked to her about it first.

Don't know if that's an influence that has come about from porn, but if it is, not all the actions that you see on porn are automatically acceptable in real life.

Communication is the key here.

DangerMouse27

I used to have the opposite problem. Id finish myself off too quickly like a race! a one handed race that is.

Anyways, i used to come too quickly then and had to slow down by training myself with more sex and pelvic floor exercises..pretend your going for a pee and hold the muscle(contarct) when you stop yourself peeing.. this will strengthen the muscles involved in ejacualtion.
Vary the positions and maybe one will stimulate you more. Other wise, try not jack hammering yourself and leave it a while if you know your going to have sex and keep your hands away from yourself. Dietary, try eat more fresh fruit and drink loads of water too. Go easy on the caffeine too.

Ickle Magoo

As long as all medical reasons have been ruled out and you have no trouble ejaculating while masturbating, perhaps just try not ejaculating for a few days and increase sensitivity? Sometimes being used to a hand with a tight grip during masturbation makes ejaculation from vaginal stimulation difficult...you can retrain by using a looser grip and also abstaining from masturbation for a few days in the lead up to sex.

All the best.

Captain McDuck

100% agree with the above.

I have had very similar problems with being unable to cum in the past. The best method I have found is to stop beating off well in advance of when you think you will be getting laid. 3-4 days.. ( I once went 12 days!!)

It can be a funny balancing act though sometimes because if you leave it too long you might have the opposite effect and shoot too soon. If I think this may be a problem I will usually have a few drinks before hand.

CIARAN_BOYLE

ucdmike wrote: »

I've recently started going out with a girl and often when we have sex I have trouble ejaculating. I know you often hear of guys cumming to fast but I have the opposite problem! When I masterbate I generally ejaculate pretty quickly but at times it can be very annoying during sex not being able to cum. Anyone able to offer any advice?

Did you have the same problems in previous relationships?

Are you using extra safe condoms I've heard of a few cases where they reduced sensitivity during intercourse and caused similar problems

LegacyUser

ucdmike wrote: »

I've recently started going out with a girl and often when we have sex I have trouble ejaculating. I know you often hear of guys cumming to fast but I have the opposite problem! When I masterbate I generally ejaculate pretty quickly but at times it can be very annoying during sex not being able to cum. Anyone able to offer any advice?

im having a similar problem and i think that the masturbation is the problem. your trained to getting one way and your own way is the best. Im currently on a masturbation diet for the past week (been fairly hard)(excuse the pun) but hopefully im gona try re-train meself to do it in a more sex like approach in about a weeks time. hope it works!

LegacyUser

The key thing in this for both of you will be communication about what both of you like. When your seeing someone new, there's naturally going to be anxiety about what your partner will like and whether they're going to be pleased with your performance.

To be honest, my ex used to be a bit worried by the whole thing - I had the same issue and could be going for a good hour or so, however with a bit of experimentation we found a position and angle that worked for both of us.