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Advice Re Separation

soulking · 2011-12-28 15:11:49

My partner has made the decision to end our relationship, and wants me to leave our rented house. We are unmarried with two young girls. I have resisted this heart-breaking decision, as I have done nothing wrong, but know that it is now inevitable, and we have agreed to go to mediation to sort out how we break up. I am…

28-12-2011 3:11pm

#1

soulking

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My partner has made the decision to end our relationship, and wants me to leave our rented house. We are unmarried with two young girls. I have resisted this heart-breaking decision, as I have done nothing wrong, but know that it is now inevitable, and we have agreed to go to mediation to sort out how we break up.

I am tempted to leave before the mediation but certain issues hold me back. These are:
1.I would be leaving my daughters (every day with them is precious).
2.I feel I would be on the back foot, fighting to get back access to the girls, and my possessions in the house.
3.I would not know what to do financially in the short term, as I have little income. If I move out, I would not be able to afford to pay bills on both properties, & would have to cancel direct debits etc / transfer bill payer details. Subject to agreement through mediation, I could make a contribution to the girls' expenses.

I have posted here as there is no Separation and Divorce Support forum although one is proposed.
I would be grateful for any legal or other advice on how I should approach this difficult situation?
Thank you all.

0

Comments

#2 28-12-2011 5:35pm

johnnyskeleton

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Perhaps the Relationships Issues section of the Personal Issues Forum is the one for you:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1174

For legal advice, the best person to go to is a solicitor or FLAC if you can't afford a solicitor.

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#3 28-12-2011 5:50pm

FreudianSlippers

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Moved from Legal Discussion (breach of legal advice policy)

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#4 28-12-2011 9:00pm

tyview

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Posts: 190

Hi Soulking

I've gone through a separation this year and we went to mediation to work out the ins and outs. I know only too well the heart ache your going through albeit from a womans perspective. The mediation service we used only took a few weeks to organise but was so well worth it. I rang/emailed a few different places and some had waiting lists of up to 6 months. Mediation is for the two of you to come to an agreement between yourselves so make sure you know how much its going to cost you to live on your own or this will delay things for you. When things settle down it will start to slowly get a bit easier. Wishing you the best for the new year!

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#5 30-12-2011 11:27pm

StillWaters

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If at all possible, its better to go into mediation with the bones of an agreement you have hammered out between you.
The fact you are renting is a huge plus, no negative equity, and mobility for both of you to move to smaller places close to each other to enable ease of access/shared parenting.
I would normally say avoid courts at all costs, but do you have guardianship, you may have to apply for this?

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#6 31-12-2011 4:08pm

Kevin Duffy

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Sorry, I'm not clear, whay would you have to be the one moving out? Why would your children be staying behind? Why would you have to make a contribution to the bills of the house you were leaving? If your husband is the one ending the relationship, why are you the one being forced to move out of your home?

Perhaps I've just missed something in your post or there's something you haven't said, but it really looks like you're just agreeing to everything he wants at this stage.

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