Is a gay bar the best way to meet people?

prickleberry

I'm a 21 year old lad and live in Galway and was wondering what is the best way to meet people? I've tried gaydar and I really dont like that website, and there isn't many on it in the west. It's kinda getting me down that I'm 21 and never been in a relationship, i've had a sorta fling for a very long time but nothing meaningful. Am I too young to be worrying about this stuff or what? does anyone have any experience with shout or any support groups or even if college lgbt societies are any good?

cgcsb

NUIG and GMIT have lgbt societies. Dignity West and Wilde's bar are the spots.

Dwn Wth Vwls

There's no "best" way really, you never know when or where you might meet someone. Doesn't even have to be at something gay. And yes, there's nothing strange about not having had a relationship at 21, especially if you're gay, so I wouldn't worry about it. Just be active and sociable and out.

floggg

OP, it depends on what your after. If you just want to meet people "romantically" then a gay bar is fine, though it can be an intimidating place without a "wingman" or two. You'll also have to kiss a fair few frogs/one night stands before finding the one (as you will no matter where you go).

It might help a lot of you just met some gay people to socialise with at first. At the very least it will provide companionship until you find the one, and who knows, friendship might turn into something more.

stephen_n

I wouldn't say anywhere involving alcohol is a good place to meet people really as how people come across with a few on board is usually massively different than how they are sober! Having said that if you feel that isolated anything would be better than nothing. LGBT soc's or any sporting organizations may be a better bet though. Oh and yes you are very young to be worrying about the relationship part but I'm guessing a lack of gay peers is driving that?

ninty9er

I find gaydar a strange site to navigate. I don't really like it. I've used Grindr, and while there's lots of creeps on it there are some really nice guys too. It's easy to use, there are no restrictions on non-subscribers like most other sites and it gives a distance. It's an app, not a site though.

I've recently come across fitlads.com but don't know what it's like

Annasopra

Op you should try Shout or maybe other groups like outwest

http://www.outwestireland.ie/default.htm

more information about some groups here as well

http://www.amachlgbt.com/groups/

Davyhal

I was in your situation. I was in college in NUIG a few years ago and when I was 20/21 I knew I had to get out more and meet lads... I tried Gaydar, but as I'm sure you are all aware, while it is possible to make some mates, most of the site is just sleazy... As for GIGSOC, I've heard good things, but I went to just one night and I didn't really like it... No offense to anyone here if they happen to be a part of it, but I found it a bit camp for me... Eventually I was introduced to one gay guy by a mate and we were both kinda in the same boat so we decided to head out to Eden in An Pucan (This is the days before Dignity or Wildes) and we have never looked back, I have made loads of friends, and so I would definitely recommend going out on the scene and see if it is for you. It worked for me!

fluffybiscuits

mango salsa wrote: »

Op you should try Shout or maybe other groups like outwest

more information about some groups here as well

www.amachlgbt.com/groups/

Can definitely say heard excellent things about Outwest. They organise socials every once in a while and have drop in nights for coffee etc. OP if you can lay your hands on a copy of GCN as there is loads of listings at the back for pubs and other acitivities outside of the pub scene alike. I made most of my gay friends of partners through gaydar, friends, social networking, bars and found myself running a coffee night for lads not into the pub scene. Best wishes for the New Year hope you find something that suits

Conor30

Bars and clubs are usually not the best place to meet someone, especially if you actually want more than just a one-night-stand! LOL Many people can be very drunk there.

Barna77

Conor30 wrote: »

Bars and clubs are usually not the best place to meet someone, especially if you actually want more than just a one-night-stand! LOL Many people can be very drunk there.

Well, that can be expected in any bar or club :rolleyes:

And not only the gay ones

prickleberry

So, how did all of ye meet people? I don't want one night stands, have had a few in the past and they make me feel terrible, I would love a relationship.

Conor30

Barna77 wrote: »

Well, that can be expected in any bar or club :rolleyes:

And not only the gay ones

I know that. Where did I say that wasn't the case?? You can roll your eyes back in now.

Conor30

prickleberry wrote: »

So, how did all of ye meet people? I don't want one night stands, have had a few in the past and they make me feel terrible, I would love a relationship.

It kind of depends on your age. Most of my gay friends aren't in relationships (no surprise there) but any gay guys I know that are actually in a relationship met through mutual friends or else as a result of a one-night-stand! I even know one guy who met his partner in the Boilerhouse!
You could also join groups like the walking one, gay tennis club or the wet & wild dudes.

Untense

prickleberry wrote: »

So, how did all of ye meet people? I don't want one night stands, have had a few in the past and they make me feel terrible, I would love a relationship.

I had a lovely relationship with someone I met on Gaydar (even if the website and general standard isn't great), met another ex at work. There's no one place where you'll find good gays. Cast a few nets and see what happens. Being out definitely helps.

Am I too young to be worrying about this stuff or what?

Yes! Anyway, relationships aren't necessarily a good thing. You want to meet someone decent who isn't demanding or expecting you to solve all their problems. Meanwhile you get to be selfish and work on making yourself feel more complete and satisfied with your own life, and that way you're not demanding or expecting someone else to solve your problems.

fluffybiscuits

Untense wrote: »

I had a lovely relationship with someone I met on Gaydar (even if the website and general standard isn't great), met another ex at work. There's no one place where you'll find good gays. Cast a few nets and see what happens. Being out definitely helps.


Yes! Anyway, relationships aren't necessarily a good thing. You want to meet someone decent who isn't demanding or expecting you to solve all their problems. Meanwhile you get to be selfish and work on making yourself feel more complete and satisfied with your own life, and that way you're not demanding or expecting someone else to solve your problems.

Spot on there with regards that. Join lots of different clubs and socities and you will expand your horizons

46w

You arent alone in your feeling OP. I think at 21 you are too young to be worried about not having a relationship. Im 30 and Ive still not had what I would call a proper relationship. I am at the moment involved in "something", not sure what it is. I agree that gaydar isnt great. I have however made a few good friends from it but never found real love on it. Have you got many gay friends? are you out? Its a lot easier if you have a circle of gay friends to meet someone special.

Conor30

46w wrote: »

You arent alone in your feeling OP. I think at 21 you are too young to be worried about not having a relationship. Im 30 and Ive still not had what I would call a proper relationship. I am at the moment involved in "something", not sure what it is. I agree that gaydar isnt great. I have however made a few good friends from it but never found real love on it. Have you got many gay friends? are you out? Its a lot easier if you have a circle of gay friends to meet someone special.

That's quite normal in the gaysphere, at least in Ireland, in my experience.