Relationship advice needed - boyfriend a virgin

LegacyUser

As the heading says, I need some advice.

3 months ago I met a wonderful man through a friend. We started dating and everything seemed to be going well. I met his family, lovely people and we have been to movies, eating out and even had sports activities together. We both feel really comfortable with each other and I love him to bits. My boyfriend is one of the most decent men you could find, doesnt drink and is very romantic and caring. However on Christmas Eve we met up with his family in the pub and afterwards myself and my boyfriend went back to my place. I live alone in a 1 bed apartment near Dublin city centre. We started making out on the sofa and it was getting heavy when he backed away. I asked him what was wrong and he said that I was coming on too strong. We got talking and after a while he admitted that he was a virgin. I was a bit taken aback by it as he is rather good looking. I was understanding and assured him that it was ok and i did not think there was anythig wrong by it. Around 11pm he left and the following day I went over to his parent's house to celebrate Christmas dinner with him and his family. It was a lovely occasion and he gave me a beautiful gift. Last night we went out again, had a nice evening, went back to my place where we slept in the same bed but nothing happened. We just cuddled, kissed and that was it. I am starting to get a slightly bit frustrated that I cannot express my love physically to my boyfriend. I do not want to pressure him and scare him away as he is a lovely man.

My boyfriend is 35 years old and comes from a nice family. He has a good job and is hard working. I'm 37 years old, a nurse and I come originally from Belarus. I have been living in Ireland for the last seven years. I am considered very attractive, in good shape, short strawberry blond hair. I have never had a problem attracting members of the opposite sex and since coming here to Ireland, I have had 4 relationships ranging from 2 years to a short term fling. My previous relationship ended in April this year.

Because of my age, I desperatley want to have kids and with my biological clock ticking against me, I dont want to screw this one up. I have never been in this situation before. I have always accepted sex as being natural as well as fun but with my boyfriend who has never done it before, I dont know what to do. He has had a rough 12 months with the loss of his 10 year old nephew after an illness in January and I'm very mindful of this. I am planning a romantic meal in my place tomorrow night and he is coming over. I'm a great cook as well

Any advice from you guys would be great. Thank you.

Dravokivich

You said you desperately want kids, does he?

Aside of that, I'd recommend you do anything slow and lightly if you plan to seduce him. Don't hop his bones so to say, as it'll most likely panic him again as it did the other night.

Partizan

Dravokivich wrote: »

You said you desperately want kids, does he?

Aside of that, I'd recommend you do anything slow and lightly if you plan to seduce him. Don't hop his bones so to say, as it'll most likely panic him again as it did the other night.

+1

Best advice on the subject matter given. There is no more to be said. Just go with the flow OP.

neuro-praxis

My advice is to keep talking. Keep communicating. There are probably a myriad of reasons why he is still a virgin - he may have suffered anxiety or have been abused, or he might simply have religious beliefs that you have not yet discussed.

Take it slow, be patient, talk to him and listen. Whatever you do don't panic and push him into anything.

Having said that, you are under no obligation to wait forever. But it does sound as though you have found a good man here and it might be worth sticking around for a while to see how this develops.

LegacyUser

neuro-praxis wrote: »

My advice is to keep talking. Keep communicating. There are probably a myriad of reasons why he is still a virgin - he may have suffered anxiety or have been abused, or he might simply have religious beliefs that you have not yet discussed.

Take it slow, be patient, talk to him and listen. Whatever you do don't panic and push him into anything.

Having said that, you are under no obligation to wait forever. But it does sound as though you have found a good man here and it might be worth sticking around for a while to see how this develops.

Hi all, well a little update, we finally done it. On New Years Day night we were at his parent's house and then afterwards he drove me back to my place. We both went inside and I cooked dinner and had a nice romantic meal with lots of wine. Anyway, i dont know whether it was the wine or not but he completley relaxed. I put on a DVD and one thing led to another we were kissing passionatley. I went along with it nice and slowly and after a while i looked into his eyes and he gave me that look. I asked him if he was ok and he said he was. I then led him to the bed room.

We kissed pasionatley more and then I removed his clothes, constantly talking to him the whole time and kissing him to relax him. I then removed mine and we sat on the bed, both looking into each others eyes, hugging, touching and kissing each other. Anyway i got up took him by the hand and we got into bed. I got on top and assured him that it was ok and off I went dictating the pace and asking him if he was ok which he was. After a minute I got on my back and helped him get into missionary position by putting my legs behind his back and allowed him to take the pace. He was enjoying it and so was I. When he finally came, we both looked into each other's eyes and felt that magic moment. After we just cuddled up and fell asleep in each others arms. The next morning we made love again.

Anyway since then he has been a whole new person and so have I. Thanks to you all for the advice. I know it is too early to say but I think I have finally found him. Here's to luck.

finbarrk

Well done, good to hear.

Ickle Magoo

Glad you have resolved your issues OP, I'll lock this thread as it's now served it's purpose.

All the best. :cool: