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Locked in my Room Xmas Day

  • 25-12-2011 06:52PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Girl. 21years old.

    I've been crying in my bedroom all day with the door locked. I'm almost at the point of been suicidal.

    Basically I was bullied really badly in school. I was in three different secondary schools because of bullying. I saved some comments which were on bebo between girls in my class at the time. Yesterday afternoon I came across them on my computer. These were a few of them -

    "haha i cant actually believe shes in ur year!!!! u hav been reunited with ur bff!!!!"

    "yeh i heard shed moved!! bffs??? :L :L ! poor girl got bullied outta X! oookaaay! :L"

    "bullying victim..haha lol"

    These comments were all between girls in the 3 schools. I felt as though everyone my age over that side of the city knew who I was as this was all been advertised on people's public profiles.

    Anyways today is Xmas day and I can't enjoy myself. I locked myself in my room just before the dinner and I refused to come out as I couldnt stop crying. I got all of my presents (cosmetics mostly) and emptied them down the sink.

    I just can't stop crying as I'm typing this. I'm crying out for help in my family and I don't seem to be getting through to them. My mum is in a world of her own most of the time as she lost her mum a few years back and she hasn't been coping well since. It's like I am not invisible to her. My dad is always working and he doesn't listen to anyone let alone me.

    I feel so alone. It kills me knowing these girls are all at home receiving presents and having a wonderful day with their family while I'm locked in room not been able to get over the past.

    This all happened when I was 14-16. I'm not 21 and I still think about it every day :(


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - I am sorry but as you are feeling suicidal no-one here is qualified to advise you and so we must lock this thread - this is standard procedure for any and all threads where suicide is threatened.

    Please consider reaching out to someone. Here are some contacts from our Charter.

    Suicide:
    http://www.nosp.ie/
    (national suicide prevention)
    1Life Suicide Prevention Helpline - 1800 247 100


    Taltos


This discussion has been closed.
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