Happy Chrimbo

cgpg5

Happy Christmas to one and all, so how are ye gonna spend the big day?!

Chuck Stone

Quite sloshed I would imagine.

.E_C_K_S.

Eat a big turkey ass ya?

Killer Pigeon

Happy Christmas Everyone!!

By the way. I hope at that least one of you gets kidnapped by a serial killer. I hope he pins you down to a table and anal rapes you for for less than 13 hours straight (doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman). Then he turns your tired and lifeless semen ridden body over and proceeds to peel the skin off your legs using a pin knife. You scream in pain, but not loud enough for people to hear you because you're so weak. Then he begins to sever you genitals.

If you're a man, he will first remove your scrotum and then tie your testicles to an AC power supply. He will force feed you your severed scrotum while listening to Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. He will begin to electrocute you slowly through your testicles, but no so much as to kill you, yet. While doing so, he will begin to remove your penis, first snipping off the head of your penis with a pair of garden sheers, then moving his way down your shaft - snip, snip, snip. Of course he will have given you Viagra pills to make the scene more, shall we say, bloody.

You will be in so much pain that you cannot feel anything below your lower abdomen anymore. Most of the skin has already been removed from your legs, and your bones and muscles in that region are now visible. You're still alive but you're slipping in and out of consciousness. He slowly removes the flesh and muscle from your legs and fries it on a cooker he has supplied in the basement. He eats it with some curry, which contains your blood as one of its ingredients, while you breathe your last breath. He feeds you some as your last meal. He then saws off your legs, violently, with an electric saw. You are now dead, Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen is in its final movement.

With the same pin knife he cut your scrotum off with earlier, he begins to surgically remove your skin from your neck to the shattered remains of your genitalia; peeling it from your body, revealing your ribs. He cracks your ribs open and removes all your vital organs. He will eat these over the next few day. He then turns you over again and rapes you dead body for a further 13 hours; the smell of your already decomposing body filling the room, turning him on further. Afterwards, he saws off your arms and feeds them to his hounds in the backyard.

He then saws of your head, ties it to a pike and rapes your head for 3 hours straight. On the same pike your head is resting, he takes the pin knife, a hammer and a chisel and remove the top of your skull to reveal your brains. He gets a high-chair, a knife and a fork, and begins to eat your brains raw. When he's finished, he throws all your remains, apart from the remains he will consume later, into a great fire in his back yard.

Lol, I'm only joking.

Seriously though, have a happy & safe Christmas,

Yours,

KP.

(PS: I hate Christmas. I wrote the above in the hope that you'd throw up after eating your Christmas Dinner.)

Birneybau

Alrighty then...

Saila

at home



no offence to any orphans reading

not yet

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

Happy Christmas Everyone!!

By the way. I hope at that least one of you gets kidnapped by a serial killer. I hope he pins you down to a table and anal rapes you for for less than 13 hours straight (doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman). Then he turns your tired and lifeless semen ridden body over and proceeds to peel the skin off your legs using a pin knife. You scream in pain, but not loud enough for people to hear you because you're so weak. Then he begins to sever you genitals.

If you're a man, he will first remove your scrotum and then tie your testicles to an AC power supply. He will force feed you your severed scrotum while listening to Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. He will begin to electrocute you slowly through your testicles, but no so much as to kill you, yet. While doing so, he will begin to remove your penis, first snipping off the head of your penis with a pair of garden sheers, then moving his way down your shaft - snip, snip, snip. Of course he will have given you Viagra pills to make the scene more, shall we say, bloody.

You will be in so much pain that you cannot feel anything below your lower abdomen anymore. Most of the skin has already been removed from your legs, and your bones and muscles in that region are now visible. You're still alive but you're slipping in and out of consciousness. He slowly removes the flesh and muscle from your legs and fries it on a cooker he has supplied in the basement. He eats it with some curry, which contains your blood as one of its ingredients, while you breathe your last breath. He feeds you some as your last meal. He then saws off your legs, violently, with an electric saw. You are now dead, Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen is in its final movement.

With the same pin knife he cut your scrotum off with earlier, he begins to surgically remove your skin from your neck to the shattered remains of your genitalia; peeling it from your body, revealing your ribs. He cracks your ribs open and removes all your vital organs. He will eat these over the next few day. He then turns you over again and rapes you dead body for a further 13 hours; the smell of your already decomposing body filling the room, turning him on further. Afterwards, he saws off your arms and feeds them to his hounds in the backyard.

He then saws of your head, ties it to a pike and rapes your head for 3 hours straight. On the same pike your head is resting, he takes the pin knife, a hammer and a chisel and remove the top of your skull to reveal your brains. He gets a high-chair, a knife and a fork, and begins to eat your brains raw. When he's finished, he throws all your remains, apart from the remains he will consume later, into a great fire in his back yard.

Lol, I'm only joking.

Seriously though, have a happy & safe Christmas,

Yours,

KP.

(PS: I hate Christmas. I wrote the above in the hope that you'd throw up after eating your Christmas Dinner.)

Go on caller tell us more.......

Vain

WTF is Chrimbo! Last I check I was still living in Ireland!

Saila

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

Happy Christmas Everyone!!

blurb..........

Lol, I'm only joking.

Seriously though, have a happy & safe Christmas,

Yours,

KP.

.(PS: I hate Christmas I wrote the above in the hope that you'd throw up after eating your Christmas Dinner.)

I can believe that since you posted this a day too early!

Batsy

cgpg5 wrote: »

Happy Christmas to one and all, so how are ye gonna spend the big day?!

I will celebrate Christmas like Christmas should be celebrated: with my family. I will be exchanging gifts, eating turkey, drinking wine, having a buffet, having a few more drinks, having a laugh, having fun, watching this year's Christmas special of Doctor Who. Basically I will enjoy myself.

It even smells Christmasy here, after air freshener smelling like mulled wine has just been sprayed around.

Shryke

So not reading that long ass post above. Happy Christmas everyone though! I'm watching Harry Potter and drinking Guinness in my parents house.

Saila

Shryke wrote: »

So not reading that long ass post above. Happy Christmas everyone though! I'm watching Harry Potter and drinking Guinness in my parents house.

I should have asked for one of them for chrimbo

Vain

Shryke wrote: »

So not reading that long ass post above. Happy Christmas everyone though! I'm watching Harry Potter and drinking Guinness in my parents house.

Make sure you dont make a black sh1te on the couch!

Saila

Vain wrote: »

Make sure you dont make a black sh1te on the couch!

you and your poxy username instantly made me think of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvgUdrzGNys

fuck you with a vengance :mad:

Shryke

Me too. Also, Christ on a bike.

ejmaztec

Saila wrote: »

at home



no offence to any orphans reading

We only get slightly pissed of for a couple of minutes on Fathers' Day and Mothers' Day, but then cheer up because we don't have to buy cards and gifts.

Rolli

I was sent down to Kerry for Christmas when I was supposed to be on holidays. Left me house at 7 and checked into a hotel at half eleven (stayed on Boards with a couple of others until 5 AM) started work at 10 and turns out I can't do anything until they send down more people..in 2012. So now I'm stuck down here until Tuesday !!!!

Pretty Polly

Shryke wrote: »

So not reading that long ass post above. Happy Christmas everyone though! I'm watching Harry Potter and drinking Guinness in my parents house.

Yeah same as above..minus the Guinness bit though. Parents don't drink so we are all having tea!

Vain

Rolli wrote: »

I was sent down to Kerry for Christmas when I was supposed to be on holidays. Left me house at 7 and checked into a hotel at half eleven (stayed on Boards with a couple of others until 5 AM) started work at 10 and turns out I can't do anything until they send down more people..in 2012. So now I'm stuck down here until Tuesday !!!!

In Tralee? Go drinking!

aaronjumper

I'll be spending mine with my family and a lot of booze.

To those that like Christmas, have a happy Christmas.
To those that don't, enjoy your Sunday.

Rolli

Vain wrote: »

In Tralee? Go drinking!

Ha, I don't drink though. Only if I'm really, really bored

starlit

Happy Christmas Everyone! Cheers!;)

Sunnyisland

Yep happy christmas you load of nutters and cranks and happy and generous and funny lot of people.

Kasabian

KP why do you hope the anal rape is for less than 13 hours?
Does it become enjoyable after 13 hours?

Rolli

realies wrote: »

Yep happy christmas you load of nutters and cranks and happy and generous and funny lot of people.

Which category do you fall into

Sunnyisland

Rolli wrote: »

Which category do you fall into

Everyone of them

Rolli

Anyone else here away for Christmas ?

UglyBolloxFace

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

Happy Christmas Everyone!!

By the way. I hope at that least one of you gets kidnapped by a serial killer. I hope he pins you down to a table and anal rapes you for for less than 13 hours straight (doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman). Then he turns your tired and lifeless semen ridden body over and proceeds to peel the skin off your legs using a pin knife. You scream in pain, but not loud enough for people to hear you because you're so weak. Then he begins to sever you genitals.

If you're a man, he will first remove your scrotum and then tie your testicles to an AC power supply. He will force feed you your severed scrotum while listening to Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. He will begin to electrocute you slowly through your testicles, but no so much as to kill you, yet. While doing so, he will begin to remove your penis, first snipping off the head of your penis with a pair of garden sheers, then moving his way down your shaft - snip, snip, snip. Of course he will have given you Viagra pills to make the scene more, shall we say, bloody.

You will be in so much pain that you cannot feel anything below your lower abdomen anymore. Most of the skin has already been removed from your legs, and your bones and muscles in that region are now visible. You're still alive but you're slipping in and out of consciousness. He slowly removes the flesh and muscle from your legs and fries it on a cooker he has supplied in the basement. He eats it with some curry, which contains your blood as one of its ingredients, while you breathe your last breath. He feeds you some as your last meal. He then saws off your legs, violently, with an electric saw. You are now dead, Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen is in its final movement.

With the same pin knife he cut your scrotum off with earlier, he begins to surgically remove your skin from your neck to the shattered remains of your genitalia; peeling it from your body, revealing your ribs. He cracks your ribs open and removes all your vital organs. He will eat these over the next few day. He then turns you over again and rapes you dead body for a further 13 hours; the smell of your already decomposing body filling the room, turning him on further. Afterwards, he saws off your arms and feeds them to his hounds in the backyard.

He then saws of your head, ties it to a pike and rapes your head for 3 hours straight. On the same pike your head is resting, he takes the pin knife, a hammer and a chisel and remove the top of your skull to reveal your brains. He gets a high-chair, a knife and a fork, and begins to eat your brains raw. When he's finished, he throws all your remains, apart from the remains he will consume later, into a great fire in his back yard.

Lol, I'm only joking.

Seriously though, have a happy & safe Christmas,

Yours,

KP.

(PS: I hate Christmas. I wrote the above in the hope that you'd throw up after eating your Christmas Dinner.)

This is the best post I've ever read on Boards.

Kasabian

I shall be spending Christmas alone again. It used to be spend in a drunken stupor but now that I am sober I shall probably get up go for a walk, then head off for a long drive just to kill time. The rest of the day will be spend in front of the telly or readng the book I bought myself as a gift.

Christmas is a lonely time for me but it is the cost I pay for the life I led.
I am lucky though I will have heat and comfort plus a bit of grub to enjoy, I really feel for people who are homeless.

EdenHazard

same as any other, real bored but with presents. xmas day sucks so much, well not if u get somethin really good that you can use...like a new ps3 game but im only getting clothes this year

Rolli

Kasabian wrote: »

I shall be spending Christmas alone again. It used to be spend in a drunken stupor but now that I am sober I shall probably get up go for a walk, then head off for a long drive just to kill time. The rest of the day will be spend in front of the telly or readng the book I bought myself as a gift.

Christmas is a lonely time for me but it is the cost I pay for the life I led.
I am lucky though I will have heat and comfort plus a bit of grub to enjoy, I really feel for people who are homeless.

If you don't mind me asking, do you have kids ?