Best Way of Getting the Flu

senorwipesalot

Unlike the other poster I want to catch the flu as Im rostered to work over the chrimbo and would do anything to wiggle out of it.
Suggestions please.

Biggins

Constant quick changes between hot and cold weather to your body and temperature, sometimes seems to bring forth flu.

How Soon Is Now

senorwipesalot wrote: »

Unlike the other poster I want to catch the flu as Im rostered to work over the chrimbo and would do anything to wiggle out of it.
Suggestions please.

Throw yourself down the stairs that be much more fun for everyone else.

Logical Fallacy

Having sex with a bird or a swine should do the trick.

LH Pathe

Give George Micheal a blow job

/worst way. quickest way...

Onesimus

Just quit.

Kasabian

Break your fingers on one hand with a hammer. I am guessing you will need both your hands to work. The other one will tide you over till the new year. You never know you might enjoy the change.

cocoshovel

Ask random people on the street to sneeze in your face. Then lick them. If that doesnt work drink a glass of water from the river liffey. Wait, you dont want to die :pac:

Just dont try what I did when trying to get a day off school a few years ago. Sleeping naked with the windows wide open and no blankets during autumn. I woke up feeling fine

PogMoThoin

Biggins wrote: »

Constant quick changes between hot and cold weather to your body and temperature, sometimes seems to bring forth flu.

Eh, that will give you a cold. A flu is a virus, you must come into contact with someone who has it

krudler

blast yourself with mucus.

7Sins

Lick the rim of a public toilet

cocoshovel

7Sins wrote: »

Lick the rim of a public toilet

*shudders*

Biggins

PogMoThoin wrote: »

Eh, that will give you a cold. A flu is a virus, you must come into contact with someone who has it

True.

Catch a cold and milk it! Make it look worse! :pac:

antodeco

Install a boiler!

krudler

d'oh, wrong thread, ignore

LETHAL LADY

Suck off a hospital vent.

pokertalk

instead of getting the flu and ruining your christmas just pull a sicky

Larianne

Sleep in a draught. You might end up with torticollis or a cold.

antodeco

Just eat some decorations and call in with tinsle-itis

pokertalk

senorwipesalot wrote: »

Unlike the other poster I want to catch the flu as Im rostered to work over the chrimbo and would do anything to wiggle out of it.
Suggestions please.

dont go fookin around with man flu it kills 10/10 males

LETHAL LADY

Ya could give me a big slobbery kiss under the mistletoe Ive got a head cold.

stovelid

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Ya could give me a big slobbery kiss under the mistletoe Ive got a head cold.

Will he only catch that if you give him head?

senorwipesalot

stovelid wrote: »

Will he only catch that if you give him head?

Best suggestion so far.

biko

Is this one of those when you say "flu" you mean "head cold"?

CardBordWindow

Eat a used tissue. A really snotty one!

CreepingDeath

senorwipesalot wrote: »

Unlike the other poster I want to catch the flu as Im rostered to work over the chrimbo and would do anything to wiggle out of it.
Suggestions please.

Hang around public sector workers.
They're apparently always getting the flu especially on Mondays and Fridays.

senorwipesalot

biko wrote: »

Is this one of those when you say "flu" you mean "head cold"?

No ,I want the works.

abbba

PogMoThoin wrote: »

Eh, that will give you a cold. A flu is a virus, you must come into contact with someone who has it

A cold is also viral.

http://virus.emedtv.com/rhinovirus/rhinovirus.html

Become a bus wanker

senorwipesalot

Edz87 wrote: »

Become a bus wanker

How do you **** a bus.

abbba

Just head over to Rotterdam Op, break into the lab and get yourself some of this bad boy.. drink one or two viles just to be on safe side, goodbye work!;)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2077232/Scientist-deliberately-created-Armageddon-bird-flu-virus-lab-says-publish-details.html

YouTookMyName

Kiss everyone on a plane going to lourdes.

sgb

Why the flu? Go for the winter vomiting bug

Very contagious no employer will want you to go to work with that in case you pass it on

TheZohanS

Go to a party at Michael Barrymore's house...

senorwipesalot

TheZohan wrote: »

Go to a party at Michael Barrymore's house...

I said I wanted the flu,not Id like my sherriffs badge ripped asunder.

mattjack

Forget about the flu , just get yourself arrested .... let the state pay for your food and lodgings over Christmas Happy Christmas ...

gurramok

mattjack wrote: »

Forget about the flu , just get yourself arrested .... let the state pay for your food and lodgings over Christmas Happy Christmas ...

And a nice big Xmas dinner, all free!

OP should travel on a packed bus perhaps, someone there is bound to have the flu for ya

senorwipesalot

Perhaps I should ride a chicken on a bus to Lourdes.

Yeah,that should do it.Happy days