Sad at Christmas

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

This is a problem that affects me every weekend but especially at this time of year.
I don't have any "friends from home". I was bullied in school and had few friends and the ones I had, had a massive falling out with just after our Debs- I'm 25 now.
Most weekends I go out with work friends on Friday nights so that's fine but right now I've been home for Christmas for days and am just stuck at home with my family, who I get on well with, but it's not the same. I get so sad hearing about everyone else doing 12 pubs of Xmas etc with their friends when they go home. I do have a friend from college who lives in the next town but she's back home for Xmas- I don't really have any other college friends. I don't know what to do.

I swore last Xmas that this year, I would have booked myself onto a college course and would have something to look forward to but I wasn't sure what profession I wanted to go into and it all just seemed so daunting that I didn't look much up, plus I didn't get much savings together for fees and the deadlines are all gone now.

I get so sad this time of year. If Xmas wasn't bad enough, my birthday is around this time too and obviously there's never anyone to celebrate it with. My friend from college will hopefully come out on New Year's Eve, I'm gonna make myself go out this year cos usually by the end of Xmas I'm so sad I can't face going out.
It goes without saying that I don't have a boyfriend either so don't even have that much to cheer me up I would really appreciate any advice. Tomorrow is Xmas Eve, usually the family visit our relatives but I'm really not sure I can face it, I might just go for a walk or something instead.

Gannicus

Hey O/P well Happy B-day. Don't feel too sad. Christmas is a very busy time of the year and its common for people to feel lonely. Send some of your work mates a text or e-mail plan to go out with them for a quick drink over the holidays.

Sashiee

Hi OP,

I know exactly how you feel, i moved away after my debs and just lost touch with my group of friends now it's just a passing nod or small talk if i happen to bump into these people and i don't know how to even converse with them anymore!!!

So i'm working quite a bit over christmas, are you working?? you could see what the people in work you hang with are doing and go along with one of them? sure enough once you meet one persons group of friends you'll be able to make friends with their friends and to even just be out and about during christmas having a nice meal or a few drinks is enough to make anyone smile!!!

if you have any siblings you could all go out over the holidays some evening to break up the day???

i'll be going for a few walks myself i'd say

Chin Up darling xxx Merry Christmas x

jellybee

Aw honey its not easy. I get the feeling that its not just Christmas time that causes lonliness for you. I don't like Christmas. Find it very hard to deal with the forced happiness. I don't have any advice for you just know you are not alone in feeling this way. I know what its like to feel alone too. Stay strong x.

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Firstly thanks so much for the replies.
I'm still awfully down. Every time I go on Facebook there's posts from people about the great time they're having catching up with all their old friends at home. The college friend I mentioned earlier has been out the past 2 nights in a row and is having a ball. I love going out and wish I had people to go out with over Christmas but even if I did, any pub in our hometown is going to be full of the people who bullied me in school who I don't want to see. I don't know what I am going to say to people when they ask me if I went out much over Christmas.
I'm just so down- obviously there is an element of this any weekend when I'm in my hometown and want to go out but it's only ever for one night- the Christmas season goes on for days and days. I can't wait to get back to work and get back to normal.

LegacyUser

Hi,
I'm gonna be home for another few days . Plan for New Years is to go out with my college friend- can't wait.

Gannicus

lonelygirl2011 wrote: »

Hi,
I'm gonna be home for another few days . Plan for New Years is to go out with my college friend- can't wait.

Hi O/P. Hope you a feeling better.

Spend time with your family and relax. Look forward to your New Years celebrations and have a ball.

part time punk

lonelygirl2011 wrote: »

Hi guys,

Every time I go on Facebook there's posts from people about the great time they're having catching up with all their old friends at home. .

OP hope you're doing ok. I'm not on facebook but don't forget how much people exaggerate on it. They may have met old friends and posted about the great nights out and parties etc. but maybe in realtity they met them, had awkward chit chat for a bit and then went home early.

Starokan

hi Op. sorry to hear your feeling low over xmas. Obviously going out at home is a difficult one for you and its unlikely to change in the near future when you are not living there permanently.

My advice would be cultivate your work friendships into ones that extend outside work into Saturday's /days off. Perhaps next year when it comes to xmas, don't go home for as long a period if its going to affect you so bad, you could if possible invite your friend from college to spend one of the nights over xmas in your home town, that way you can go out with someone who is worth spending time with.

Don't beat yourself up over this, not everyone manages to keep friends from their school days to their adult life. The fact that you are able to make friends in work and college is a credit to you after a prolonged period of bullying when you were young.

You don't mention why you fell out with the friends you had in school, is it possible to re establish contact with one or any of them or is this something you would prefer not to do