Lonely at Christmas

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. Sorry there must be tons of threads like this right now… Anyway, here is my situation:

I don’t really have any friends due to social awkwardness and mental problems and, while I’ve learnt to cope with it, it really gets me down at this time of year. Today I was so upset I started crying at work. Thankfully I don’t think anyone saw me, it was more of a silent cry. And I got very emotional again today when a stranger wished me “happy Christmas”. But yeah, hearing all the Christmas music and seeing everyone having a good time shopping for their loved ones… It made me feel so lonely. I wish I had some friends to have a laugh with and go for a pint with on Christmas eve. I do have a family who I’ll be spending Christmas with, but I don’t get along with them. My sister and I have a bit of a history and I have good reasons for not getting along with her. And my parents take her side and look down on me for my failures. It leaves me feeling very aggressed against from all angles. I would love so much to feel a semblance of love or affection from someone at this time of year.

I usually try to be positive and to count my blessings. If I’m lonely, I can’t imagine how those people on the streets must feel or all the elderly with no families. So yes, I'm aware that I'm a privileged self-pitying fool. But I can’t help feeling sad at the end of the day. So here is a modest plea for advice on getting through the next week.

Thanks.

Tigger99

Christmas can be an awful time for many people, especially if you are feeling lonely as you've lots of time to think:) and my heart goes out to you.

Why don't you plan a few things to look forward to over the next few days? Rent out some dvd's that you have been looking forward to, buy a few books from your favourite author, download some programmes that you like. Make it your business to get out in the fresh air for a long walk.

You mention that you've been thinking that there are people worse off than you, would you consider doing a bit of research on how you could help them regarding volunteering etc?

I would like to wish you a very Happy Christmas and to tell you that you may feel lonely but you are not alone.

LegacyUser

Tigger99 wrote: »

Christmas can be an awful time for many people, especially if you are feeling lonely as you've lots of time to think:) and my heart goes out to you.

Why don't you plan a few things to look forward to over the next few days? Rent out some dvd's that you have been looking forward to, buy a few books from your favourite author, download some programmes that you like. Make it your business to get out in the fresh air for a long walk.

You mention that you've been thinking that there are people worse off than you, would you consider doing a bit of research on how you could help them regarding volunteering etc?

I would like to wish you a very Happy Christmas and to tell you that you may feel lonely but you are not alone.

Thank you so much, happy Christmas to you

And that is really good advice. I should plan things so I have something to look forward to, and fill my life with the things I love and enjoy. I’d love to do some volunteering on Christmas day. I usually visit my granny and her friends, give them some company. There aren’t really any good organizations where I live though… guess I could always go to the hospital. And I will DEFINITELY be going for a long walk - releases endorphins and improves your mood : )

Tigger99

Lonely777 Im really glad to hear you sounding more positive:).
Thats lovely that you visit your granny and her friends on Christmas Day, I bet that they really appreciate that.

Just a thought though, i don't know if it'd be the best idea for you to turn up at the hospital to visit random people (with the best of intentions I know but still) apologies if I've gotten the wrong end of the stick and you are visiting people that you know.

Mind yourself.

LegacyUser

aw op, i've been there. some years i'd be so bad i couldn't even go into town at all round christmas cause i'd just find myself in a ball of tears looking at all the happy people when all i had to look forward to was christmas with my fellow messed up and emotionally distant family. you know the kind of people who can't even muster up the fun to put on the paper hat and smile? yeah. those people!

then one year a relative of mum's was in hospital over christmas so i went to see her the week before christmas day. one of the nurses came in and we got chatting about what they do on christmas day and she said on christmas morning some of the staff and visiting volunteers go round some of the wards and sing carols. i kind of volunteered before i realised what i'd done really, but i went anyway. i'm not very socially relaxed and felt a bit awkward going in. but d'ya know what? that hour and a half of wearing a santy hat and singing (badly) with a bunch of strangers gave me such a lift that christmas i did it again for the next 2 years. the patients were so thankful that they got a bit of christmas cheer, and the kids faces just lit up - it's kinda what got me through. maybe you could ring ahead and ask if your local hospital/old folks home does something similar?

whatever you do end up doing, take care. and happy christmas! x