What's going on?

LegacyUser

Hey,

So I have some history with a work colleague of mine. There has always been amazing chemistry between us and for a couple of months, everytime we went out together we would end up kissing (no further than that) I was really developing feelings for him and when he said "we can't take this further, we work together, we should just try to be friends" I was devastated (we do work in a tiny office) it took me a long time to get over this. Was even worse when not long after this, he got a girlfriend and well I had to hear about their progress ..their problems and good times, and him telling me that he "loves her"

I know this sounds weird, but behind it all we are very close friends, and I was acting so cool about the whole thing that I don't think him telling me these things were to be nasty ..we just genuinely tried to be friends I think.

Anyway fast forward, I started dating someone..trying to move on from my horrible consuming crush on him...and it started to work, i felt over him. (that relationship has recently ended)

He then breaks up with his girlfriend (didn't love her anymore etc etc) along with that...I only have a few more days of work as i have been transferred to a new department in another building.

anyway a few days ago we were out and he got completely drunk and came onto me again, telling me how we are "best friends " and how he really likes me and all this...I told him no...saying how he would only "regret it in the morning" and that he was drunk etc etc I got quite mad stating how he only ever comes onto me when he is drunk...


next day he is so embarrassed about being so drunk....and said "thank you for leading me home" etc etc

When we had our little fling months ago this would always happen...out drunk.. great time, next day "oh i don't think we should take this further bla bla..work awkwardness bla bla" regretting it when he sobered up basically.


I am so confused by this...would I be an idiot to bring this up to him in the light of day and say, "if we want to get together now we can"? Or would this be so stupid as he only comes onto me when he is drunk...I know we are very fond of eachother......but i just don't know what to trust.

Should I just move on, cut contact and get on with my life? Am I an idiot thinking there is hope?

Oryx

Take your cue from the sober him. The drunk him doesnt count. He wants you as a friend, nothing more.

LegacyUser

So I am just being stupid and naive thinking he just can't tell me how he feels sober ya? ...stupid hope ....

Elmidena

You transferring to a different department is quite a change in dynamics, go for lunch with him some day and say "look, we're just friends, or we're more, I'm happy with either but it's not fair to keep dancing between the two" or something to that effect

Novella

stupidstupidgirl wrote: »

he said "we can't take this further, we work together, we should just try to be friends"

In my opinion, if you really wanted to be with someone, it wouldn't matter that you worked together, you would try to make it work. "We should just be friends" means "I only want to be friends", it's simply an easier way of saying it.

anyway a few days ago we were out and he got completely drunk and came onto me again, telling me how we are "best friends " and how he really likes me and all this...I told him no...saying how he would only "regret it in the morning" and that he was drunk etc etc I got quite mad stating how he only ever comes onto me when he is drunk...

Him only ever coming onto you when he's drunk is a bad sign.

I am so confused by this...would I be an idiot to bring this up to him in the light of day and say, "if we want to get together now we can"? Or would this be so stupid as he only comes onto me when he is drunk...I know we are very fond of eachother......but i just don't know what to trust.

Should I just move on, cut contact and get on with my life? Am I an idiot thinking there is hope?

I wouldn't bother bringing it up. That's just me personally. Don't you think you deserve better than a guy who just drunkenly tries it on with you from time to time? Would you do that to him? And then drop him as soon as you were sober under the guise of, "Oh, it'd be too messy... Work and stuff"?

If you need to bring it up to be sure, do it but I think your best bet would be to move on.

stupidstupidgirl wrote: »

So I am just being stupid and naive thinking he just can't tell me how he feels sober ya? ...stupid hope ....

If he was crazy about you, he would tell you when he was sober.

I am a friend

Novella wrote: »

If he was crazy about you, he would tell you when he was sober.

Yeah i agree with this... He has had ample opportunity and knows you like him. I would move on and stop being his bit on the side whenever he chooses... Sorry