Pre marriage course some advice needed

pinkshoes2012

Hi Everyone,

I am new to all of this so please be patient with me. I am getting married in 9 months time cant wait . At the moment I am just looking at everything. I am hoping someone from here will be able to help me out with pre-marriage courses information, as we are booth busy I am looking for a 3 hour course in the south east region. Any help would really be appreciated. Thanks.

tinkerbell

I don't think a 3 hour course exists, they are all either one full day or one and a half days. Not to be smart or anything but everyone has a busy life, you just need to prioritise so that you can fit the pre-marriage course in, everyone else can do it.

artyeva

the pre marriage course we did was 2 hours give or take, including tea/coffee break so they do exist. it was one run by MRCS [have they changed their name recently?] and they run them everywhere, you just ring them and pick a facilitator most convenient to you. lots of people have posted about them here before.

you don't say if you're having a catholic wedding though. if you are - you'd need to check with your priest what courses they'll ''accept'', as from what i've been reading here some will only accept courses run by certain places. some don't require you to attend one at all.

dahamsta

I had to do mine in Midleton, two half days. Ridiculous pain in the hole.

silly

We did ours in the cork marriage centre. On a Saturday. 3 hours. http://www.corkmarriage.ie/course_format.html

cyning

Our parish would only accept Accord: two friday evenings, an individual session and a Saturday... no choice in which course to do. Because we couldnt make the first Friday evening they did accomadate us at a different time though...

orlaithd

tinkerbell wrote: »

I don't think a 3 hour course exists, they are all either one full day or one and a half days. Not to be smart or anything but everyone has a busy life, you just need to prioritise so that you can fit the pre-marriage course in, everyone else can do it.

Not true. there are a number of shorter courses. These are more intense than the longer ones but are recognised by the church. I did one there a few weeks ago. Its not in the south east though so no use to th OP. However the one I did was in the Meath/Louth area so if anyone needs details of this one please PM me!

Zaph

The course we did was with Mount Argus, and at it the priest stated that there's a minimum requirement of 9 hours for pre-marriage courses. Whether that's just for the Dublin diocese or everywhere I don't know, but it's something that you probably should check out. There's no point in doing a 3 hour course if the parish won't recognise it. I should mention that the Mount Argus one is actually only 8 hours long, but they were in the process of having it fully approved by all dioceses as the content satisfied all other requirements.

SAHMOM

We had a civil so did not need to do a course.....We are together 8 years, have 2 kids and being living together 6 years. I think in this day and age the whole pre marraige course should be scrapped. Its just another way for the church to make money!!!

Seth Brundle

I had to do one with Accord and it was held over two days.
It really was a waste of two days but the OH wanted it done.

Edit: no idea if there was a cost (I wouldn't have paid one) but we did get a free candle!

cailinoBAC

I think a 3 hour one could not be anything more than a box ticking exercise. I'm getting married next year and I want to do a good course. My brother and his wife have been raving about the one they did at the Esker Community so I'm going to look into that one. She was very cynical about it before but said it was the best weekend they had that year (bar the wedding!) and that everybody they'd recommended it to (not all catholic) had felt the same. So I'm going to check that out. I hope it's true because my fiance is quite cynical about them too. But what they said, and what I think must be true, is that you get out of it what you put into it.

SAHMOM

cailinoBAC wrote: »

I think a 3 hour one could not be anything more than a box ticking exercise. I'm getting married next year and I want to do a good course. My brother and his wife have been raving about the one they did at the Esker Community so I'm going to look into that one. She was very cynical about it before but said it was the best weekend they had that year (bar the wedding!) and that everybody they'd recommended it to (not all catholic) had felt the same. So I'm going to check that out. I hope it's true because my fiance is quite cynical about them too. But what they said, and what I think must be true, is that you get out of it what you put into it.

I'm sorry but have to disagree...My sister did her course lastyear and was told if her husband has an affair it's HER fault!!!!!!
I didn't waste my money to be told something like that..or for someone to tell me how to make my husband happy when I already know how!

Fries-With-That

pinkshoes2012 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

I am new to all of this so please be patient with me. I am getting married in 9 months time cant wait . At the moment I am just looking at everything. I am hoping someone from here will be able to help me out with pre-marriage courses information, as we are booth busy I am looking for a 3 hour course in the south east region. Any help would really be appreciated. Thanks.

Friday Night Saturday morning course,should suit a hectic work schedule.

Dates for 2012 here.

http://www.waterfordlismore.com/category/pre-marriage-courses/

cyning

SAHMOM wrote: »

I'm sorry but have to disagree...My sister did her course lastyear and was told if her husband has an affair it's HER fault!!!!!!
I didn't waste my money to be told something like that..or for someone to tell me how to make my husband happy when I already know how!

I would have freaked if I had heard anything like that: there was nothing like that in the Accord one. The courses obviously have a Catholic slant on them, but in Tralee at least they are delivered by trained counsellors and a priest. And wether you agree with it or not: if you choose to get married in a Catholic Church a pre marraige course has to be done. It isn't an option or a choice... its a requirement.

mfceiling

Didn't do it.

Missus wanted to do it....I told her she would be there on her own.

Waste of time considering we had been living together for about 6 years previous to that...what could I be told that I didn't know or need to know?

dahamsta

AFAIK it wasn't optional for us. Church required it.

ABajaninCork

No - I don't think it's optional either if you marry in a Catholic church.

We did ours in the UK, and it took only one morning. Seemed to be OK as it was accepted by the priest here. Weren't told anything about only certain courses being acceptable.

POKERKING

Depends on priest, i did one it was meh but most people do one so felt obliged. I had to get a letter from my parish priest to release me as was getting married elsewhere and he asked about course and said he doesn't make people he is marrying doing it he requests them to climb croagh patrick together as he feels they will learn more doing that!

I think it should be a requirement and not at the priests discretion if you get married in a catholic church, i dont like these grey areas. Im glad we did it in hindsight all part of the build up and excitement for big day!

ElectraX

Our priest has agreed that we can do the Avalon course, which by all accounts is more relaxed and less Catholic intensive than the Accord one:rolleyes:It's also €80 cheaper at €120 per couple and only one day from 11am-5pm.

www.avalonrc.ie

TheDriver

Our diocese doesn't allow avalon, the accord was actually grand and cost 150 for friday evening and sat all day (it finished at 2:30 though!)
Must say it was well worth doing and found it helpful, it made us realise we are prepared for marriage.
My priest was very adament that avalon was not accepted and that was that. In fairness, I give him credit for sticking with his diocese guidelines!

Bambi2

TheDriver wrote: »

Our diocese doesn't allow avalon, the accord was actually grand and cost 150 for friday evening and sat all day (it finished at 2:30 though!)
Must say it was well worth doing and found it helpful, it made us realise we are prepared for marriage.
My priest was very adament that avalon was not accepted and that was that. In fairness, I give him credit for sticking with his diocese guidelines!

TheDriver, which diocese was that? I'm trying to preempt our priest by looking them all up and being prepared with my preference/the cheapest one!

TheDriver

Cork & Ross, they only accept Accord or CMCC or NAOMI and gave the reasons why avalon wasn't accepted. To be honest, it was all over with quickly and course was enjoyable and somewhat of a laugh to be honest, nice people running it.
Think Cloyne is also the same.

Zaph

TheDriver wrote: »

Cork & Ross, they only accept Accord or CMCC or NAOMI and gave the reasons why avalon wasn't accepted. To be honest, it was all over with quickly and course was enjoyable and somewhat of a laugh to be honest, nice people running it.
Think Cloyne is also the same.

The church we're getting married in is in Cork &Ross and the priest was fine with the Mount Argus course. However this may depend on individual priests, ours is very easy going.

TheDriver

Mine is very easy going too but because our wedding is very unusual requirements, we said yes to anything they requested so our paperwork is done without any hassle.

Don't think they have anything against mount argus but they don't run courses down here hence why its not on the list
however he had reasons why avalon one is a no no