Message In A Bottle

LumpyHead

Hi guys, looking for some advice on a bit of a predicament. Will try be short and lucid. Am in fact a little dubious about posting this here, but I need peoples opinions. My friends are at a loss as to what they would do too.

Was in town a few weeks back, Temple Bar area, well known pub. Met a couple of girls, got chatting, all was friendly enough. Hung out for a while throughout the night with their friends etc. One girl, who I was not attracted to, disappeared for a while. Was standing at the bar with some of her friends when she entered the circle and smashed a bottle over my head.
I am totally clueless as to her motive because I had not really talked to her that much during the night and therefore would not have had much opportunity to offend or say anything offensive.
The only reasons I can think of is that I may have ignored or was unaware of her amarous intentions, she felt rejected and with a large amount of alcohol on board she just snapped.

The security staff apprehended her and I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. The Gardai arrived, took her statement and later informed me that she was "out of it" and spouting claims of sexual harrassment, which I can assure are complete fabrication, particularly because I was not in the least attracted to the girl and am a complete gentleman with girls, not sleazy, and am admittedly too shy to even consider being touchy feely.

I was released from hospital with a large lump on my forehead, a small scar and a haematoma on my eye, the bruising has still not subsided and probably won't this side of Christmas, leaving me housebound and unable to present for work.

With my statement made to the Gardai it seems they will either arrest her or caution her, compile a case for the DPP and a court date will be set, where I presume she will be charged, as CCTV footage is being admitted. Any claims of harrassment have not been mentioned since her initial statement so I presume after legal consultation she has been advised to leave this defence. It seems it was a convenient excuse for her actions on the night whilst heavily intoxicated.

Anyway, legalities aside...all dandy and very festive, but my issue is with the consequences from here on for this girl. She has lost her job as she was at an xmas office party and her boss saw the events. However if I continue with the case, she will most likely be convicted and will find it extremely difficult to secure another job with an assault conviction.
Whilst I know what she did was inexcusable, I do feel sympathetic towards her because she was very drunk and not in control. A silly mistake like this will have lasting consequences for the rest of her life. She is young, and I am struggling to follow through as I know how damaging it will be for her future. I have been informed she is remourseful and has enquired as to my well being, however I declined to give her my contact details.

I just want to know peoples general opinion. I know I am fully in the right in this case but I hold the power to continue the charge or drop it. If I am to let the justice system do its job, it will undoubtedly do so, but is justice really the best option in this case?
Should I be compassionate and drop the charges and call it a mistake? It has had an affect on my life in so far as I cannot leave the house due to my injuries, but I envision any long term effect will be non existent. Not so for her. What would you do if you were in my position?

Any thoughts appreciated. And please don't ask me for particulars of the case etc. It is still under investigation.

johnnyskeleton

You don't have the power or any control over whether she gets charged or not. You can ask the gardai or dpp not to prosecute and you can retract your statement but that doesn't mean the gardai can't continue with the case.

As to what you should do, that's entirely a matter for yourself. But you should disabuse yourself of the notion that you have her fate in your hands.

howamidifferent

Shoe, other foot, 3 year for you?

jblack

up to Gardai and not you at this point. You can make a successful prosecution difficult by withdrawing.

For the sake of the public at large I might do a little more investigative work on how remorseful this girl is, or if she needs professional help is she willing to get it. If there is a possibility of it happening again then IMO you have a duty to do what is necessary to make sure it doesn't.

Don't ruin the girl's life if it is an aberration from her normal conduct, but don't let it slide just because you feel sorry for her.

ResearchWill

jblack wrote: »

up to Gardai and not you at this point. You can make a successful prosecution difficult by withdrawing.

For the sake of the public at large I might do a little more investigative work on how remorseful this girl is, or if she needs professional help is she willing to get it. If there is a possibility of it happening again then IMO you have a duty to do what is necessary to make sure it doesn't.

Don't ruin the girl's life if it is an aberration from her normal conduct, but don't let it slide just because you feel sorry for her.

Sorry but it is now none of your business, you are now according to the law a witness. It is the decision of the State if proceedings are to be brought. In fact if you decide to withdraw your statement you could find yourself in hot water. If the matter goes on indictment which in my opinion it should, if you refuse to give evidence your staent can be read out.

If after conviction you will be given an opportunity as its an assault case to speak to the court, then you may ask the court to be lenient, and the judge may listen to you and agree and give her the Probation act.

My advise is to only deal with this case through the Garda.

listermint

It will be up to the DPP to pursue her in terms of the assault charge. But to be fair being young and drunk isnt an excuse for smashing a bottle over someones head.

Was she brought up to do that?

Hopefully she will learn a valuable lesson. But personally i would be pursuing for compensation considering you have medical bills and have been left with a permanent scar. I dont understand how someones modus operandi is to first grab a bottle or glass and destroy someones head ????

LumpyHead

Thanks for all of your input. I suppose I don't have the final say, but was loosely talking about asking the Garda in charge to drop the case and stop compiling the file for the DPP. It is still at an early stage etc so, I think he would put a halt to it if I asked.

The shoe on the other foot point is interesting because I think a male in the same situation would be dealt with more severely than how I imagine she will be dealt with.

I sincerely hope she was not brought up like that. I will not deny that I myself have been very, very drunk, but I have never had the urge to be violent, especially not to such a degree as to brandish a weapon.

Ahh...I don't know, my head is in a mess, physically and mentally. 2 inches to the right and the doctors said it could have killed me. I wonder if my family would be thinking of leniency if I had been in a coffin now. That may seem dramatic but it's sadly true.

Anyway, I will take the advice here and let the Gardai proceed with the matter. The system is in place to handle issues like this and I will have to put my faith in it. I do hope the Judge will weigh up the consequences and impact n her future. I don't know of the extent of her remourse but I can imagine anybody would regret inflicting harm on any individual, particularly when it was unprovoked. Thanks again guys. Happy Xmas

Delancey

OP - people have been left dead or brain-damaged after having bottles broken over their head.
Viewed in that context do you still feel sorry for her ?
Would you be so sympathetic if it was a male who assaulted you ?

tinkerbell

OP, do NOT feel sorry for her. And do not drop charges. I don't understand why you would even begin to feel sorry for her? She smashed a bottle on your head, you were very lucky that your injuries weren't worse in that you died, left brain damaged, lost your eye sight, anything! Her being drunk is NO excuse. Just because you are drunk, doesn't turn you into some crazy psycho who decides to smash bottles on peoples' heads for no reason - she clearly already has issues. Her boss sacking her is not surprising, there's no way they'd want someone that dangerous working with them, etc.

Thank your lucky stars that you got out of this with injuries that weren't more life threatening or that could have significantly altered your life in that you were left blind in an eye, etc. She'll get what she deserves - don't interfere with the gardaí etc. let them do their job.

Seriously though, I'm sorry this happened to you but OP you need to get a grip here. She assaulted you, it was extremely serious. Even if her life is "ruined" by getting a convinction - SHE brought it on herself, nobody held a gun to her head to bottle you. Her actions, her problem, not yours. She'll learn her lesson and know not to be violent again (hopefully). You telling them to drop the charges will mean that the next time she's out and doesn't take a shining to someone, she'll smash a bottle on their head too and who knows, it could turn out worse the next time.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

msg11

Firstly , breaking bottles over a persons head is low, dangerous and is serious assault. If you decided to engage in this conduct then you are caught and arrested, then you must live with the consequences.

Secondly , this girl need to be though a lesson in life. You cannot do things that are illegal then feel sorry for doing it the next day. She could have ruined your life, even ended it. This will make sure she won't do it again and will go out as a warning to other people that thing they can get away with it.

Thirdly , in your statement ask the court for leniency towards her. Don't drop the case. Also remember you didn't put her in this mess. She did when she decided to smash a bottle over your head.

Also can I add, even if you did say something smart to her it's still no excuse to smash a bottle over someone, there's no excuse for that type of carry on.

MagicSean

If you really want to give her a break then tell the Garda you would prefer a charge of Section 2 assault. He can note this in his file for the atention of the dpp.

Zambia

OP concentrate on recovering let the Garda worry about the fate of your attacker. She will just have to wear the charge like a big girl. The garda on the scene have from what you have said invested some time and effort by doing a fairly airtight investigation.

Those Garda were not available to police the city while doing so. The ambulance that took you to hospital was no longer available to the city during your trip. The space you used in the ED ... you see where this is going.

The assault on you was not only on you it effects the community as a whole.

Get well soon.

The_Snapper

LumpyHead wrote: »

I just want to know peoples general opinion.

My opinion is, show no mercy.

If she's capable of cracking a bottle over your head after drink, then she is capable of sticking a knife into someone. Let the wheels of justice continue to roll.

Bear in mind, a lot of time & effort has gone into your allegation, even at this stage.

Victor

LumpyHead wrote: »

Whilst I know what she did was inexcusable, I do feel sympathetic towards her because she was very drunk and not in control.

I presume she wasn't a PTAA member who had her drinks spike. She voluntarily drank alcohol and voluntarily got drunk. Maybe there was free booze at the Christmas party, but nobody held her down while someone forced the drink into her. She voluntarily got into a state where she was out of control.

We all do stupid things. Some of us do extra stupid things. However, they don't tend to involve glass bottles and heads. The accused's solicitor will be making the defence and mitigation arguments, you don't need to.

Given that you are still recovering, you can't be certain as to the final effects of your injuries.

coylemj

And she could have previous convictions for violence in which case you'd feel like a right idiot for letting her off the hook to do it again to some unsuspecting individual who's head mightn't be as resilient as yours.

If she gave you a slap in the face for no apparent reason it might be ok to let it go based on too much drink, seasonal excess etc. but whacking you over the head with a bottle puts her well across the line.

Let the wheels of justice turn and let the judge decide whether she deserves leniency or not.

PCPhoto

everyone else has already said it....so I'll simply add

Get well soon !

(Dont forget you can also persue her for damages in the Civil Court after the criminal action is finished...so you are compensated for the injuries/possible scarring)

The quicker the courts punish assaults like this properly and refuse to accept drink as an excuse (they generally say its not an excuse but take it into account as a factor ... which it shouldn't be in my opinion - you take personal responsibility when you drink)

Victor

Oh, one thing. If there are any inaccuracies in your statement, you would be well advised to talk to your own solicitor.

ResearchWill

Not only can you sue in civil proceedings, (not much good unless she as money) you can claim under the criminal injuries compensation scheme. http://www.justice.ie/en/JELR/Pages/Criminal_Injuries_Compensation_Scheme

Be aware of 3 month time limit.

LumpyHead

Thank you all for your opinions and the get well wishes. I am doing fine now, just bruising, ringing in ears has stopped thank God. That had me worried as I am a musician and my hearing is obviously important.

Anyway I have taken on board what all of you have said and feel less sympathetic towards her at this stage. She did drink excessively, she was responsible for her actions and she will have to live with the consequences. I guess it's just the way I was reared in that you should give people a break in life, but in this circumstance I have realised the severity of the situation does not warrant leniency on my part.

Interestingly if it happened to one of my friends or family, I probably wouldn't be feeling sorry for her. It's hard to take in the larger picture when you are the victim, however this is the reason I posed the question to the forum. And the answers I received have been very positive, making my decision easier. Particularly because of the possibility that if her actions go unpunished it could in theory occur again. If her resolution, to whatever was going on in her head, was to pick up a bottle then I see no reason why in the future if she is faced with a similar situation that she would bypass reason, tolerance and self control and use her tried and tested bottling method.

I would dread to think that as a consequence of my leniency, some other member of the public could suffer similar or worse injuries. It's all conjecture at this point but it's possible.

I will as suggested let the Gardai do their job and let the courts decide her fate.

Thanks you all for your comments. I think it best I let the matter lie for now. Perhaps after all is done in court, I will post an update on proceedings, as I know how annoying it is to be given the start of a story and not know the outcome.

Seasons greetings.