Not getting a reply from a girl

jameshealy19

hey,

I met a nice girl on a dating website.
I emailed her 6 good photos of me, including one of me and my ex (hot girl).
Im not a bad looking guy, tall, in good shape, been with good-looking women in the past.
I've got no response after 36hrs. Is this a very bad sign?

Misticles

jameshealy19 wrote: »

hey,

I met a nice girl on a dating website.
I emailed her 6 good photos of me, including one of me and my ex (hot girl).
Im not a bad looking guy, tall, in good shape, been with good-looking women in the past.
I've got no response after 36hrs. Is this a very bad sign?

In bold is all irrelevant.

If she is attracted to you/wishes to talk to you she will reply.

If she isn't attracted to you, she may just ignore the message or send a thanks buts no thanks mail.

If she has been online in those 36 hours then she could be just not interested.

jameshealy19

Misticles wrote: »

In bold is all irrelevant.

If she is attracted to you/wishes to talk to you she will reply.

If she isn't attracted to you, she may just ignore the message or send a thanks buts no thanks mail.

If she has been online in those 36 hours then she could be just not interested.

she's been online in the last 36hrs
Should I let it go?

Should I send another email asking her if I failed the test?

saa

jameshealy19 wrote: »

hey,

I met a nice girl on a dating website.
I emailed her 6 good photos of me, including one of me and my ex (hot girl).
Im not a bad looking guy, tall, in good shape, been with good-looking women in the past.
I've got no response after 36hrs. Is this a very bad sign?

Eh 6? you think they are good? with your "hot" ex jaysus think you might have sent out the wrong impression, like even the effort to put together six pictures seems a big eager. But even so there could be many reasons, and its only the internet most people are time wasters, jokers or trolls

Cavehill Red

No answer is your answer.

It always amazes me how many men fail to see that silence is not the lack of a response but a response all of itself, usually negative in nature.

Misticles

jameshealy19 wrote: »

she's been online in the last 36hrs
Should I let it go?

Should I send another email asking her if I failed the test?

Balls in her court.

I would leave it at that.

Sephiroth_dude

jameshealy19 wrote: »

she's been online in the last 36hrs
Should I let it go?

Should I send another email asking her if I failed the test?

No don't bother,if she doesn't reply just take it as a sign and move on

saa

Just let it go my friend honestly if she didn't want to reply that's her problem so how would a relationship work out if she doesnt do this little thing,

don't email her, loads of better ladies out there

Wibbs

More suitable here

ifellover

Can I get a female opinion on something?

I think ALL men have been in a situation like the OP where a girl hasn't responded to a text/email/voicemail of theirs and clearly the gal ain't interested.

But, but as the OP said about sending another message, is there any harm in doing so? As I see it you can say with a degree of certainty that the girl ain't going to be with you. Now does it matter sending her another message? You won't exactly be losing anything. As things stand you have nothing anyway

ifellover

sunflower27 wrote: »

Why did you send the picture of you with the hot girl? To show off the kind of women you can pull? Sounds very immature to me if that is the case and maybe she thought the same.

Does this ex? know you are sending out photos of her?

I'd leave it to be honest and not dwell on it.

Is sending out a nice photo of you and your ex, really immature?
I thought it might send out the signal that you're not a gimp

curlzy

Hey OP,

I wouldn't email her again, she doesn't sound interested. In future, instead of sending a girl pictures of you with another girl maybe send one photo of you alone.

Sending 6 really comes across a bit zoolander, like you say you're hot but do you really think you're actually ridiculously good looking, if so, that's extremely unattractive and will make girls run a mile.

Best of luck.

With regards to the what have you got to lose? The answer is self respect, begging/nagging is deeply pathetic.

Firetrap

Cavehill Red wrote: »

No answer is your answer.

It always amazes me how many men fail to see that silence is not the lack of a response but a response all of itself, usually negative in nature.

The same applies to women. If someone you'd been in touch with suddenly "disappears" and hasn't fallen under a bus/lost their phone/is being held captive by revolutionaries, you can bet your bottom dollar that they have no wish to hear from you again. They just don't want to tell you - they're hoping you'll get the hint and go away.

ifellover

curlzy wrote: »

Hey OP,

I wouldn't email her again, she doesn't sound interested. In future, instead of sending a girl pictures of you with another girl maybe send one photo of you alone.

Sending 6 really comes across a bit zoolander, like you say you're hot but do you really think you're actually ridiculously good looking, if so, that's extremely unattractive and will make girls run a mile.

Best of luck.

With regards to the what have you got to lose? The answer is self respect, begging/nagging is deeply pathetic.

Does it really matter if you're pathetic around someone who'll you'll probably never see again and has no interest in you?
Even if you danced the Funky Chicken around her, does it really matter?

ifellover

curlzy wrote: »

Hey OP,

I wouldn't email her again, she doesn't sound interested. In future, instead of sending a girl pictures of you with another girl maybe send one photo of you alone.

Sending 6 really comes across a bit zoolander, like you say you're hot but do you really think you're actually ridiculously good looking, if so, that's extremely unattractive and will make girls run a mile.

Best of luck.

With regards to the what have you got to lose? The answer is self respect, begging/nagging is deeply pathetic.

Is sending 6 photos really that bad? I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm just trying to learn

LegacyUser

OP, no answer == not interested, end of. On the other hand, a day and a half isn't very long for some folks to check messages and respond to them, particularly if they get a lot of messages, which any more than moderately attractive woman on a dating site apparently will. So I wouldn't write it off straight away, but sending additional messages or anything like that is definitely pointless and not a very good idea; see below.

ifellover wrote: »

Does it really matter if you're pathetic around someone who'll you'll probably never see again and has no interest in you?

Of course it does. It's about you, not her. Indulging in that kind of behaviour is a bad habit to get into, and won't exactly do your mindset and self-esteem much good. Focus on sensible, healthy ways of interacting with folks and you'll do better in general.

Re sending 6 photos, I probably wouldn't do it myself, but I don't see any harm in it.

solovely

ifellover wrote: »

Is sending 6 photos really that bad? I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm just trying to learn

And you have a lot to learn!! 6 photos looks self obsessed and way too keen.

Does it really matter if you're pathetic around someone who'll you'll probably never see again and has no interest in you?
Even if you danced the Funky Chicken around her, does it really matter?

Of course it does, cos a) even if the person is desperate for attention and finds your patheticness appealing, you've set yourself up from the start as someone far too eager, and a bit self obsessed, so you'll always be that person, and b)you should never want to be pathetic, even if it's at home on your own and there's no chance anyone in the world would ever see you. Why would any of us want to have an unappealing characteristic, regardless of whether or not anyone else knows about it?!

Neyite

I would be seriously wondering why a guy on a dating site sent me a picture of him with another girl. I would think firstly that she is someone who he is not over, and if she is an ex, that there is baggage there.

I would also be wondering if the girl knew her picture was being sent to strangers on the internet and would think the guy a bit disrespectful and maybe even creepy to do it. I would be wondering if he and I had a thing for a while would he send my picture around afterwards without me knowing, and I would steer clear.

In short, I wouldnt reply either.

ifellover

Neyite wrote: »

I would be seriously wondering why a guy on a dating site sent me a picture of him with another girl. I would think firstly that she is someone who he is not over, and if she is an ex, that there is baggage there.

I would also be wondering if the girl knew her picture was being sent to strangers on the internet and would think the guy a bit disrespectful and maybe even creepy to do it. I would be wondering if he and I had a thing for a while would he send my picture around afterwards without me knowing, and I would steer clear.

In short, I wouldnt reply either.

Maybe your right about sending the photo of the ex.
But I kind of see it in a different way, if the OP's ex is good-looking, then doesn't that make him more attractive? No matter what people say women like a man who has been with other good-looking women, it shows that he 'get's it'. This theory actually applies to another other type of species, the more females around you, the more attractive you become.

Sending a photo of you and an ex might be a little disrespectful. Would that impact a girl's decision?

Taltos

ifellover - please review our charter before posting again.
We ask that all posts are constructive and civil to the OP, while your posts raise some interesting questions they are only serving to drag this thread off topic.

Taltos

LovelyLottie

jameshealy19 wrote: »

hey,

I met a nice girl on a dating website.
I emailed her 6 good photos of me, including one of me and my ex (hot girl).
Im not a bad looking guy, tall, in good shape, been with good-looking women in the past.
I've got no response after 36hrs. Is this a very bad sign?

I'm not totally sure if this is actually a genuine query... but i'll take it as genuine. First of all, you haven't met her. She's a complete stranger you've had email contact with over the internet. If your actual girlfriend didn't reply for 36 hrs, i'd be worried, but this is a complete stranger. I wouldn't take it as a bad sign, just for what it is, no reply.

Secondly, not a good idea to send a photo of you with an ex. There are a lot of *ssholes online and you have to be very cautious.

Thirdly, she may just not have liked the look of you. She hasn't met you in person so you can't really take it as rejection.

Finally, girls get lots of emails online. She probably has several guys she's corresponding with at the moment, before deciding who she'll meet up with. If you think she looks nice, send her another follow-up email and see if she replies.

But mostly, don't let yourself pin your hopes on someone who is judging you from a photo and hasn't even met you. If she doesn't reply, it's not strictly speaking any kind of rejection. She just hasn't replied. Get back searching!

Neyite

ifellover wrote: »

Maybe your right about sending the photo of the ex.
But I kind of see it in a different way, if the OP's ex is good-looking, then doesn't that make him more attractive? No matter what people say women like a man who has been with other good-looking women, it shows that he 'get's it'. This theory actually applies to another other type of species, the more females around you, the more attractive you become.

Sending a photo of you and an ex might be a little disrespectful. Would that impact a girl's decision?

I can only speak from my point of view, as a female. I would not look at a picture of a couple and say "oh, she makes him look wayyy hotter". I dont think I ever have . Men with women hanging out of them tend to be a bit of a turnoff for me. Your version seems to be generally appealing to the wrong gender - Men would be more likely to look at a man surrounded by beautiful women and go "Niiiice". Not a reaction a female would have, in my opinion.

My first reaction is that he is expecting prospective candidates to "match up" to what he has demonstrated. Maybe the girl looked at the hot girl in the picture and thought "I'm not blonde, or that skinny, or that pretty, so whats the point of meeting him, why set myself up for rejection?" Me? I would have him written off as a player, or wondering what he is trying to prove.

It would certainly impact my decision. I would not write back.

confused2216

Firstly, I wouldn't send another email.
She will reply to you if she's interested, emailing again only makes you look a bit too eager,
A lot of girls I know are on these websites and they don't reply to everyone, sometimes they don't even open the emails or in the first place, or sometimes they just are not interested. If you really want a reply from this girl you could try emailing again and asking but in that case, nothing is going to come of it I think.
Good luck OP.
There are plenty more girls out there

ifellover

maybe if the OP,
emailed back the girl back and say :
'I'm aware no response is a response in itself, I seldom do this but, you do seem like a good person and you appear to be sophisticated and educated both of which are admirable qualities in my book. It would be nice if we could meet-up sometime in the new year'


Any comments?

ifellover

Neyite wrote: »

My first reaction is that he is expecting prospective candidates to "match up" to what he has demonstrated. Maybe the girl looked at the hot girl in the picture and thought "I'm not blonde, or that skinny, or that pretty, so whats the point of meeting him, why set myself up for rejection?" Me? I would have him written off as a player, or wondering what he is trying to prove.

It would certainly impact my decision. I would not write back.

I'm actually not disagreeing with you, but I'm curious. Do girls actually think like that? Is it just the ones low self-esteem?

Novella

ifellover wrote: »

maybe if the OP,
emailed back the girl back and say :
'I'm aware no response is a response in itself, I seldom do this but, you do seem like a good person and you appear to be sophisticated and educated both of which are admirable qualities in my book. It would be nice if we could meet-up sometime in the new year'


Any comments?

Personally, I would think that very odd. There would be no way I would be meeting up with a guy who sent me a message like that. I wouldn't even reply. It's just so full on. "You appear educated", really? Just no.

Ickle Magoo

ifellover wrote: »

I'm actually not disagreeing with you, but I'm curious. Do girls actually think like that? Is it just the ones low self-esteem?

Welcome to PI.

As you are taking such an interest in this thread please ensure you have acquainted yourself with the forum rules here and Boards general posting rules and etiquette here before posting again.

Please note that petty differences with other posters will not be tolerated and this forum has zero tolerance for muppetry.

Many thanks.

LovelyLottie

Does anyone realise that ifellover is not actually the OP? The OP simply stated that he sent a photo of him with "his ex (hot girl)" - not that he highlighted this hotness to the recipient of the email!

Da Shins Kelly

Let it go, buddy. She ain't interested.

A0

ifellover wrote: »

maybe if the OP,
emailed back the girl back and say :
'I'm aware no response is a response in itself, I seldom do this but, you do seem like a good person and you appear to be sophisticated and educated both of which are admirable qualities in my book. It would be nice if we could meet-up sometime in the new year'


Any comments?

Yes: weird.

Back to the OP now. Just forget about her. The photo thing is a mistake, one-two photos are enough, not 6 including one with an ex!!!!!!!! :eek:
I sent my pic to few women who didn't reply, I got it as a "not interested". I think it's a bit rude to not reply... Anyway, 36 hours is more than enough time to reply, it takes about 2-3 minutes to write an e-mail... so move on, she's not interested

conor1979

Cavehill Red wrote: »

No answer is your answer.

It always amazes me how many men fail to see that silence is not the lack of a response but a response all of itself, usually negative in nature.

What ever happened to a bit of common decency? On the assumption that she doesn't have 500 mails to get through why not a quick email to say thanks but no thanks?

Not just her but anyone on dating websites? Plenty of people here have complained about not getting a reply from guys/girls. Your never going to meet them so its not as if you could get embarrassed from because you have to say no to their face! Its an email and you wont be around for their reaction!

Elmidena

You met this girl--did you actually talk or did you find a profile you liked the look of? That can be a HUGE difference.

Six photos comes across to me as cocky, narcissistic or trolling at best. I've been on dating sites in the past and if I had anything like that I'd be intimidated or turned off immensely with such eagerness. "NEEDY: INSTANT WOMAN REPELLANT" would make an apt tshirt.

Chalk it up to experience and leave it be. Plenty more fish in the sea, or pics on the net depending what way you'd like to look at it. Less is more, don't open up too much (image or personally) til you know someone better, and keep in mind not everyone on the net is who they say they are. Don't go revealing so much about yourself so quickly--I mean, if that person were to google your username or email address (if visible) it wouldn't take all that much to track to the ex in your pic. That might sound neurotic, but seriously, play it safe and keep your cool. You never know, in a week you could be the one ignoring lots of inbox alerts

ElleEm

conor1979 wrote: »

What ever happened to a bit of common decency? On the assumption that she doesn't have 500 mails to get through why not a quick email to say thanks but no thanks?

Not just her but anyone on dating websites? Plenty of people here have complained about not getting a reply from guys/girls. Your never going to meet them so its not as if you could get embarrassed from because you have to say no to their face! Its an email and you wont be around for their reaction!

I suppose some people may struggle with the wording of such an email.

OP, six pictures is a bit excessive. It does seem a bit self obsessed, "here's one of me standing up/ sitting down/ looking to the left/ looking to the right/ with a "hot" girl, etc. It's mental that you even considered sending a pic of you with your ex. It's so not on.

Don't write anything further to this girl, but maybe this will teach you not to lay it on too thick. Be yourself, send one pic of you and only you.

floorpie

Is this a joke or what? You didn't meet her, just sent a mail and didn't get a response? You must be new to online dating or something.

a) Some girls get hundreds of new messages a day, they don't have time to reply/chat to everyone. And more importantly, and something you'll have to get used to, they don't want to.

b) If you don't get a response, that's the *end of correspondence*, do NOT email her again for *any* reason at all. ANY reason.

b ii) Do NOT respond with the message ifellover wrote. Not to pick on one poster, but harassing someone with messages like that (and that's how girls understandably view messages like that, if you step back and think about it) are liable to get you banned from dating sites, sorry. If someone doesn't respond, that's the end of discussion, move on, get used to it.

c) Sometimes you'll get responses, most of the time you wont, that's how online dating works, especially from a guy's perspective; not everybody is guaranteed to want to talk to you. I don't want to say that it's purely a numbers game, but, effectively it is.

d) Having a picture with other people in it is fine, you wont be judged for it. You would be if you said "this is my ex, look how attractive she is", otherwise, nobody cares if you do or don't have people in your pictures (although going by OkCupid's statistics, it's better if guys do have other people in the pictures).

e) There's nothing wrong with sending six pictures, i don't know why everybody is saying that there is. It's online dating; a persons only possible mechanism for knowing whether they like somebody is via pictures. You everyday rules for egotism don't apply in the same way: people need pictures to know if they like you, the more the better.

f) This is the most important point i think...you sound insecure, i'm sorry if that's wrong. But if you are, online dating is absolutely not for you. People seem to think that it's a soft option, compared to meeting people in real life, but it isn't.

If you *did* meet her and she's not responding, that's different, but otherwise..... :S

floorpie

conor1979 wrote: »

What ever happened to a bit of common decency? On the assumption that she doesn't have 500 mails to get through why not a quick email to say thanks but no thanks?

Not just her but anyone on dating websites? Plenty of people here have complained about not getting a reply from guys/girls. Your never going to meet them so its not as if you could get embarrassed from because you have to say no to their face! Its an email and you wont be around for their reaction!

You obviously don't know how many messages even the most average looking girls (not to judge, i'm just trying to make a point) get every single day. Plus, even if they were getting zero messages, they owe you NOTHING, you aren't entitled to ANY response. Common decency...? :S Websites aren't society, there's no benefit to being 'decent' on an online dating site, and no objective definition of what 'decency' is (personally i'd think it's far more decent of a person to not respond if they're not into you).

OS119

floorpie wrote: »

...(personally i'd think it's far more decent of a person to not respond if they're not into you).

indeed, what would someone like to receive as a rejection message - 'sorry, you're a swamp-donkey/drooling-halfwit/bunny-boiling nutjob/whatever, and i'd never want to meet you even if i was on fire and you were the only living person with a hosepipe'?

no reply - which is a reply in itself - is the kindest form of rejection.

LovelyLottie

floorpie - i couldn't have said it better myself!

Big Bag of Chips

jameshealy19 wrote: »

hey,

I met a nice girl on a dating website.
I emailed her 6 good photos of me, including one of me and my ex (hot girl).
Im not a bad looking guy, tall, in good shape, been with good-looking women in the past.
I've got no response after 36hrs. Is this a very bad sign?

No matter how tall, good looking and in shape you are, you might just not be her "type".

She may have gotten replies from taller, better looking, better shape etc fellas that interested her more (or shorter, not so good looking etc etc)

If you've contacted her, its now up to her to get back to you, if she doesn't don't take it personally. She doesn't know you after all.

And maybe in future don't send pictures of yourself with exs... (hot or otherwise!)

LegacyUser

conor1979 wrote: »

What ever happened to a bit of common decency? On the assumption that she doesn't have 500 mails to get through why not a quick email to say thanks but no thanks?

"maybe if the OP,
emailed back the girl back and say :
'I'm aware no response is a response in itself, I seldom do this but, you do seem like a good person and you appear to be sophisticated and educated both of which are admirable qualities in my book. It would be nice if we could meet-up sometime in the new year' "

Above quoted from another post - if this was the response a girl would get if she doesn't respond, can you imagine what she would be sent if she did respond with a 'no but no thanks'???? Many girls get creepy, offensive, downright insiduous messages even without sending a 'no but no thanks'. So what most girls do (after learning from bitter experience) is just not respond at all. It's safer, and you're less likely to get accusations and insults levelled at you just because you replied back saying 'no'.