Sex Obsessed

LegacyUser

Hi, i am a regular poster, but have to go anon for this...

I am been driven demented by the lack of sex in my life... Seriously, i've never felt like this before. If i was a man i would be going around with a permanent hard on..

Is this normal???

I have been single for almost 2 years now. I don't sleep around. But ive never gone this long without sex. It never crossed my mind that this would be a problem.

I'm obsessing over this guy that ive kissed twice, but the last time i kissed him i was really drunk and talking pure ****e, because i was nervous & now i feel ive blown any chance i had with him... He is the only guy i've kissed in the 2 years. I would give anything to have sex with him... I have a feeling we would have great sex.

I'm getting worried that i'm gonna end up in bed some night with some loser, just for sex. Im in my 30's and i dont go out a whole lot... once/twice month.
All sorts of men, that i would never have looked twice at before, are becoming attractive to me...

What is happening to me? What am i turning into?

fungun

you sound like you need some relief.....can you not....ehhh....relieve yourself?
You do have to be careful that you dont make bad decisions that impact the rest of your life when you are, lets say, 'in heat'

Meow_Meow

I hate to state the obvious here, but have you considered purchasing a vibrator? At least then you'll be more relaxed and in a better frame of mind to choose a guy who is worth keeping around.

Sleepy

If I'm right in guessing that the itch is something you can't scratch with a vibrator, there are plenty of websites where a woman could find some no-strings sex if that'll help...

Squiggler

Do not do this ^

That way lies self-loathing, possible diseases and worse. If you're not wanting to hook up with guys you meet in bars you really don't want to start hooking up with complete strangers.

Like the others suggested, find a way to take care of your needs. It can release the tension.

ApeXaviour

Squiggler wrote: »

Do not do this ^

That way lies self-loathing, possible diseases and worse. If you're not wanting to hook up with guys you meet in bars you really don't want to start hooking up with complete strangers.

That's a bit antique moralistic preaching let's be honest. It's not the 1860's anymore, we have the pill and condoms, women are no longer property. There is nothing wrong with casual sex. Let me repeat that: there is nothing wrong with casual sex. It is legal, it is safe (once precautions are taken), and for many it is very very enjoyable. It leaves no invisible taint on your soul, it is not damaging to one's character. If it's something one wants to do for the sake of it (rather than to fulfill something else that is lacking) then why on earth not?

Squiggler

My response has nothing to do with moralistic anything.

The OP stated in her post that she is worried that she might be tempted to hook up with some loser... so it doesn't sound like the type of experience you suggest would be at all her thing.

Also, I have friends who have gone the "no strings attached" route for gratification and it hasn't been a positive experience for any of them, and it almost destroyed one of them.

Elmidena

Say here's an idea, tell this guy you had a great time and want to see him again (nice and sober!) and see how he reacts. Don't lust after his genitals though, see him as a person not as an end to celibacy.

I agree there's nothing wrong with casual sex, but some people aren't cut out for it. It filled a void but it's possible you'll feel shame or something else in its wake as it's not something you'd be used to. I've gone down that road more times than I care to remember, and put myself on a near-year of celibacy to get some esteem back, and it really did the trick. Still get in heat a lot, but at least I've a partner which makes it a LOT easier!

Being "in heat" like you are now, I don't think a one night stand would be a good idea, as it sounds like you want more than just copulation. If you slept with this guy once, would you really be happy at it being a once-off? It's easy to lose sight of the situation when clouded with hormones, but these guys you're suddenly attracted to is nothing more than your inner voice challenging you to "know" them. If you weren't looking for intimacy then you wouldn't be attracted to them, keep it in mind. Of course, if you *are* ok with no-strings as an ends to the means, then go for it. You've nothing to lose and it could be a good learning experience for you. Just try and relax and not obsess over sex--at the very least it won't live up to your fantasies whenever you do end the drought

LegacyUser

Hi Everyone OP here. Thanks so much for your replies.

Sleepy is right in that relieving myself is not sufficient.

But unfortunately Squiggler, is also right in that it really isn't my thing to meet strangers for casual sex. I have nothing against it... in fact a few of my single friends have done it & suggested it to me... The trouble is, i'd like to think i could do it, but really i just can't.

Elmidena your post made me laugh... I would love to have the courage to ask him to meet me, but i have done stuff like that before and it NEVER worked for me.
I feel if a guy is into you, he will do the chasing... i know how old fashioned that sounds, but it has been my experience.

I actually feel a bit better by sharing this here, and the replies you have given me so thanks for that...

I know i'll see this fella again when i go out... i think i'll have to formulate a plan!! ha ha ha...
First part of plan is not to drink too much... second part of plan: Stop thinking dirty thoughts...

If anything happens over the xmas i'll let ye know

Thanks again & Happy Xmas

fungun

do you actually like this guy?

imo id prefer sex with a randommer than to have sex with someone i know if i think we wouldnt end up together and would lead to awkwardness.....

just be careful......and best of luck

Sleepy

fungun wrote: »

imo id prefer sex with a randommer than to have sex with someone i know if i think we wouldnt end up together and would lead to awkwardness.....

That was the basis for the advice I gave above.

No Strings Dating sites have their risks but, imho, they're safer than hooking up with a randomer in a bar. You can let people know where you're going to be, what time they can expect to hear from you after, arrange a preliminary drink etc. to give you time to get a feel for the other person etc. (i.e. you'd be on your first drink rather than your seventh so your judgement would be better).

Elmidena

Startingtogetdesperate wrote: »

Hi Everyone OP here. Thanks so much for your replies.

Sleepy is right in that relieving myself is not sufficient.

But unfortunately Squiggler, is also right in that it really isn't my thing to meet strangers for casual sex. I have nothing against it... in fact a few of my single friends have done it & suggested it to me... The trouble is, i'd like to think i could do it, but really i just can't.

Elmidena your post made me laugh... I would love to have the courage to ask him to meet me, but i have done stuff like that before and it NEVER worked for me.
I feel if a guy is into you, he will do the chasing... i know how old fashioned that sounds, but it has been my experience.

I actually feel a bit better by sharing this here, and the replies you have given me so thanks for that...

I know i'll see this fella again when i go out... i think i'll have to formulate a plan!! ha ha ha...
First part of plan is not to drink too much... second part of plan: Stop thinking dirty thoughts...

If anything happens over the xmas i'll let ye know

Thanks again & Happy Xmas

Here's your options: Fantasise about being with this guy and be tortured with your lust, or bite the bullet and risk looking a little interested--I don't know anyone (single) who would be offended by someone liking them once it's not a suffocating declaration! Get a friend to "frape" you or something if that's easier and send a text a while later claiming embarrassment and innocence if it backfires. Personally I think you should go for it You've nothing to lose and potentially something great to gain.....leave it too long and you'll wonder what if and you may regret if he meets/marries someone else etc etc.

Also keep in mind, this guy is not the guys from the past. They didn't work out, but it's unfair to think they won't ever work out. You can do it, and you might just get a bit of confidence for it