Can I get help anywhere?

tdavies

Im 21 and unemployed for a few years now and living at home with my mam and younger siblings. Not the ideal situation but I have been actively trying to get a job, only got offered one in the last few years and they didn't give it to me in the end because i couldnt work the night shift (no transport home, it was 2 hrs away)

anyways I give my mam 50 a week for staying with her, always cook/clean after myself and buy my own food. There has been a lot of fighting in the house over money recently and I basically have to move out. my mam has said she doesnt want me in the house anymore. She wants me to pay more towards bills that I don't use (the one that annoys me most is the house phone - i never use it always use my mobile so I don't think its fair to expect me to pay extra money towards it but she says I should because I live in the house)

Its a week before xmas and I am really at loss of what to do next. I never lived away from home before but if I have to move id rather move to a different part of the country away from my family, not another rural area..preferably somewhere with more options for jobs and start a new life for myself.

I think most social welfare and council offices are probably closed for Xmas by now? am I able to get some kind of help with rent or anything? I don't have anything saved, about €100 right now but I didn't do any food shopping yet this week and also owe my mam her €50. I know my aunt got rent supplement within a few days when she left her abusive husband but thats a different situation than the one im in.

Im still in the family house but i'm not wanted here and would like to get out before christmas.

Any advice appreciated. Thank you

simit

I would say it depends on 'what colour you are' but it would be politically incorrect,

MagicMarker

Why don't you just grow up and give your mam more money? She's supported you for 21 years so maybe it's time for you to return the favour?

I think €100 per week is a good start.

tdavies

MagicMarker wrote: »

Why don't you just grow up and give your mam more money? She's supported you for 21 years so maybe it's time for you to return the favour?

I think €100 per week is a good start.

Thanks for the help :rolleyes: I'll give her €100 a week and have approx €0 to buy food for myself, to buy toiletries, to go to job interviews...yup that makes sense :rolleyes:

MagicMarker

tdavies wrote: »

Thanks for the help :rolleyes: I'll give her €100 a week and have approx €0 to buy food for myself, to buy toiletries, to go to job interviews...yup that makes sense :rolleyes:

How much is soap and bus fare these days? How many job interviews are you going to per week? Is it even 1 per week?

Food shouldn't be costing you any more than 30-40 per week, and that's being generous.

Are you getting €188 per week from the dole?

augusta24

MagicMarker wrote: »

tdavies wrote: »

Thanks for the help :rolleyes: I'll give her €100 a week and have approx €0 to buy food for myself, to buy toiletries, to go to job interviews...yup that makes sense :rolleyes:

How much is soap and bus fare these days? How many job interviews are you going to per week? Is it even 1 per week?

Food shouldn't be costing you any more than 30-40 per week, and that's being generous.

Are you getting €188 per week from the dole?

He's 21 so is probably only getting €100

tdavies

MagicMarker wrote: »

How much is soap and bus fare these days? How many job interviews are you going to per week? Is it even 1 per week?

Food shouldn't be costing you any more than 30-40 per week, and that's being generous.

Are you getting €188 per week from the dole?

Food costs me about €35-€40, sometimes a bit more sometimes less. Bus fare to the nearest "big" town to me is €14.90 return, just made the trip 2 days ago. Dole is €100. If I give her €100 I have nothing, which is what I stated above.

MagicMarker

tdavies wrote: »

Food costs me about €35-€40, sometimes a bit more sometimes less. Bus fare to the nearest "big" town to me is €14.90 return, just made the trip 2 days ago. Dole is €100. If I give her €100 I have nothing, which is what I stated above.

Grand, give her €80 leaving €15 for bus fare and €5 for sweets.

I'm sure there's already bread and milk and a few tins of beans in the house so that's food taken care of.

It's still a better deal than moving out.

tdavies

MagicMarker wrote: »

Grand, give her €80 leaving €15 for bus fare and €5 for sweets.

I'm sure there's already bread and milk and a few tins of beans in the house so that's food taken care of.

It's still a better deal than moving out.

€5 for sweets? Are you trolling or something?

Food is not taken care of - my mam buys food for herself and the younger ones, and I buy my own. Thats how its been since I was 18 and I think its only fair. I'm not going to start eating her food.

She doesn't want me in her house and I dont want to be here which is why Im looking for advice on moving out and if there are any resources to help people who are basically homeless.

dvpower

simit wrote: »

I would say it depends on 'what colour you are' but it would be politically incorrect,

FYP

foxy06

If you move out without a job you will end up in a poverty trap you will find hard to get out of. You need to have a proper chat with your mother about the situation and find out exactly how much she is looking for a week. You also need to look further afield for work if you are in a rural area. If you get work try and rent a room in a house or something near to the job.

LegacyUser

augusta24 wrote: »

He's 21 so is probably only getting €100

And he might even be getting much less than that, if they are taking his mother's income "benefit and privlege" rules etc. as part of his means, seeing as he's living at home.

I think you might be financially better of moving out op.

If you are returning to college next year you may be entitled to the full rate 188 if you are eligible for btea......"back to education allowance"
If you are doing a fas/training program you may also be entitled to the full rate.

The rent supplement I'm not certain about. Usually you have to be renting in a place for a period of at least six months, then due to a change of circumstances cannot afford your rent anymore. As far as I know they will not take into consideration the rent you have been paying to your mum, because it is the family home, - unless you had been paying rent to a parent on a second home they owned.

You would have to be assessed by your local authority as having a housing need, and they would put you on the list for a council house. Presuming you are single, male, and with no children you are very unlikely to ever actually receive a council house for many years, so they would just continue to give you rent allowance for private rented accommodation until your circumstances improved by hopefully being able to find a job in the future.
Good Luck.

dvpower

tdavies wrote: »

She doesn't want me in her house and I dont want to be here which is why Im looking for advice on moving out and if there are any resources to help people who are basically homeless.

Moving out with no savings to get you started, nothing to even pay for a rent deposit on a flat is crazy. It sounds like a spur of the moment decision.

I don't know why you would expect the state to help you when you have made no plans for yourself and you are now about to make yourself voluntatilly homeless.

foxy06

I really can't understand mothers who just cut apron strings as soon as a child turns 18. You have a child then you rear them to be independent and if that takes til they are 18, 21 or until they finish college and get a job so be it. You don't wipe your hands of them when they turn 18 and expect the state to do the rest of the rearing.

Just my 2c

mp22

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055070569

Some people need to read this before any further posting in this thread!

tdavies

uygefiuqe wrote: »

And he might even be getting much less than that, if they are taking his mother's income "benefit and privlege" rules etc. as part of his means, seeing as he's living at home.

I think you might be financially better of moving out op.

If you are returning to college next year you may be entitled to the full rate 188 if you are eligible for btea......"back to education allowance"
If you are doing a fas/training program you may also be entitled to the full rate.

The rent supplement I'm not certain about. Usually you have to be renting in a place for a period of at least six months, then due to a change of circumstances cannot afford your rent anymore. As far as I know they will not take into consideration the rent you have been paying to your mum, because it is the family home, - unless you had been paying rent to a parent on a second home they owned.

You would have to be assessed by your local authority as having a housing need, and they would put you on the list for a council house. Presuming you are single, male, and with no children you are very unlikely to ever actually receive a council house for many years, so they would just continue to give you rent allowance for private rented accommodation until your circumstances improved by hopefully being able to find a job in the future.
Good Luck.

I wasn't planning on returning to college until I was a mature student, but if I am still jobless it would probably be the best option to do it next september.

Im female and dont have any kids (or plan on having them any time soon!) Im not sure if id qualify? My aunt got approved for the housing list and rent allowance straight away as she was leaving an abusive relationship, my mam got it in about 2 months but that was only with the help of local td's. I don't know if they would do it any quicker for me if I was homeless? I don't even think I could stay with any of my friends over the Xmas so it will probably be a hostel until i get sorted

clarab

Op the social welfare offices may still be open yet, go have a word with them about your options, or even try citizens information?

Sorry i can't give you any advice, Just sorry your in this situation

tdavies

dvpower wrote: »

Moving out with no savings to get you started, nothing to even pay for a rent deposit on a flat is crazy. It sounds like a spur of the moment decision.

I don't know why you would expect the state to help you when you have made no plans for yourself and you are now about to make yourself voluntatilly homeless.

My mam doesn't want me in her house - she told me to find somewhere else to live and get out. Do I want to be homeless? No. Do I want somewhere to live? Of course. I am just wondering if there is any help for young people moving out who have nothing. I don't have a job right now but I hope to ASAP and will pay back taxes to the state then. Believe me - I hate having to think about help from the state but I don't have any family members who care and most of my friends are in Dublin/Galway/Limerick for college so I have nowhere to go.

foxy06 wrote: »

I really can't understand mothers who just cut apron strings as soon as a child turns 18. You have a child then you rear them to be independent and if that takes til they are 18, 21 or until they finish college and get a job so be it. You don't wipe your hands of them when they turn 18 and expect the state to do the rest of the rearing.

Just my 2c

I said this to my mam earlier and she went off on one. I don't expect her to still take care of me, but all I want is a roof over my head. I cook, clean, and contribute towards the bills. I babysit the younger ones in the evenings and always help out where I can.
My friend is 24 and still living at home, hes in college and gets no grant/social welfare payment because of his parents earnings but he gets his dinner cooked for him every day and lives there free of charge. Now im not saying that I want that, but his parents are understanding of his situation and know its not forever.

My mam has been telling me to "get out" since a few days after my 18th birthday, I usually just ignored it but its at a point now where I can't ignore it because shes making my life miserable and making me feel worthless because I haven't got a job.

tdavies

clarab wrote: »

Op the social welfare offices may still be open yet, go have a word with them about your options, or even try citizens information?

Sorry i can't give you any advice, Just sorry your in this situation

Thanks I think the social welfare office in my county closed for Xmas just this week (I remember seeing the signs up when i was signing at the beginning of the month) I will try contacting citizens information hopefully they can give me some advice!

Phoenix Park

Talk things through at home if you can. Even if it means leaving you with a bit less money (and i know its already a squeeze). Hostels are not nice, i would pay a bit more at home FOR NOW if necessary, spend a good bit of time over the next few weeks researching your move and formulate a well-thought out plan of how you are going to make it work (which means all living costs, food,all bills phone etc- leave nothing out, you couold start a spend-diary now to figure this out) and what entitlements you would receive if you move out.
Buy yourself some time. Paying even a small bit more now (you could try and negotiate at home, if you are sympathetic to your mother she may be more understanding to you in turn) will pay off in the long run. Don't burn your bridges.
And have a good Christmas.

LegacyUser

tdavies wrote: »

I wasn't planning on returning to college until I was a mature student, but if I am still jobless it would probably be the best option to do it next september.

Im female and dont have any kids (or plan on having them any time soon!) Im not sure if id qualify? My aunt got approved for the housing list and rent allowance straight away as she was leaving an abusive relationship, my mam got it in about 2 months but that was only with the help of local td's. I don't know if they would do it any quicker for me if I was homeless? I don't even think I could stay with any of my friends over the Xmas so it will probably be a hostel until i get sorted

Yes I think you should still be able to qualify. You are only receiving 100 euro a week which I think would be low enough for you to qualify for Rent supplement. I would not bother telling them that you used to pay your mum 50 rent every week,you could just say that you have been told to move out, and don't know how you are going to now be able to afford rent and bills etc. on a new place. This would be kinda like a change of circumstances for you.

Go to your local authority and ask them for one of their housing assessment forms. Fill this in and send it off. They will then assess whether you are in a position of having a "housing need".
If they deem that you are in need of housing, you can then apply for rent supplement on a private rented accommodation.
If you are approved for rent supplement, you may also be eligible to get a month's deposit paid for you, which I think you pay them back when you are leaving.
Different areas will have different maximum rates of what your rent could be. The officer in your area should be able to inform you of what the maximum rent rate is in your area.
As a guideline here's this: http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=rent%20supplement&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCkQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.citizensinformation.ie%2Fen%2Fsocial_welfare%2Fsocial_welfare_payments%2Fsupplementary_welfare_schemes%2Frent_supplement.html&ei=JAruTq_wAY6ZhQfT96S_CA&usg=AFQjCNFg1Oqlnufv9AJYwcx1f1QH4xgPQw (this is a page all about rent supplement, and includes maximum rates set per county near the bottom)

You will have to make it clear to your authority that you cannot stay at your mums house any longer due to her wishes.
I have known guys who were told to stay a few days in an emergency hostel instead of friends houses, so that the hostel would be their address, and that they would definitely be classed as having a housing need etc.
I don't know if this is absolutely necessary though, you should speak to Citizaen's information to find out exactly what you should do regarding giving your current address.

Regarding BTEA, if you do not have any luck finding a job before the start of next years college year, then you should be eligible for BTEA if you have been receiving Jobseekers for at least 9 nine months previously (for a 3rd level college). You could also attend a few months long fas/training course in the meantime, and this would also count towards your qualifying period of unemployment/training. (You might also get full rate payment whilst on a training course.)As long you are in receipt of social welfare payment either Jobseekers Allowance or a fas training allowance for 9 months then you should be eligible for BTEA which is currently 188 a week. With BTEA you also get 300 at the start of the academic year, and are allowed have a part time job for a certain amount of hours without it affecting your payment.

BTEA: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/back_to_education/


I would strongly advise that you pop into your local citizen's information office to speak with them about these things. It is completely free and they really know their stuff. They will take you into a little office, and a person will be able to tell you everything you are eligible for, and the best way to go about things. Even try giving them a call if you can't pop in.

MyKeyG

OP there is information online but if you're looking for it from the horses mouth then:

First you have to put your name down on the housing list at your local council. That's non-negotiable.

Second you find accommodation and make an application for rent allowance. You won't necessarily get the ceiling allowance for your chosen area. An appraiser is sent from the SW office and s/he will decide the value of the premises. For example if the ceiling allowance in your area is €400 per month and the asking rent for your chosen accommodation is €400+ but the SW appraiser recommends the accommodation is worth only €350 per month then 350 is all you get! You have to pay the rest yourself.

Third it can take up to eight weeks to process the application. That means you're responsible for 100% rent until that time. You get it paid back in bulk but if you have no savings then it's a problem. The deposit is not paid by the SW and is not included in the back pay. The deposit is off your own back.

You seem to be stuck in a rut. Explain to your folks you need to save at least one months rent before you can even think about leaving. Considering that, they may ease up a little if they know it will get you out of the house quicker.

One thing's for sure you're not moving out this side of January.

dvpower

tdavies wrote: »

My mam doesn't want me in her house - she told me to find somewhere else to live and get out. Do I want to be homeless? No. Do I want somewhere to live? Of course. I am just wondering if there is any help for young people moving out who have nothing. I don't have a job right now but I hope to ASAP and will pay back taxes to the state then. Believe me - I hate having to think about help from the state but I don't have any family members who care and most of my friends are in Dublin/Galway/Limerick for college so I have nowhere to go.

I'm not trying to have a dig at you for relying on the state for help out of your situation - it just seems to me that you haven't planned out this move at all. It doesn't seem to be an emergency situation but you do seems to be looking for an emergency response i.e. state aid to house you when you don't need immediate help.

It's probably a bit off topic for this forum, but if you can bear it, you might try and sit tight where you are for a few months, save at least a bit of cash, and start out afresh with some resources (and better weather).

I wish you the best.

tdavies

dvpower wrote: »

I'm not trying to have a dig at you for relying on the state for help out of your situation - it just seems to me that you haven't planned out this move at all. It doesn't seem to be an emergency situation but you do seems to be looking for an emergency response i.e. state aid to house you when you don't need immediate help.

It's probably a bit off topic for this forum, but if you can bear it, you might try and sit tight where you are for a few months, save at least a bit of cash, and start out afresh with some resources (and better weather).

I wish you the best.

Thanks. i would have thought being told to get out of your parents house is an emergency situation? I have been told im not welcome here, to live somewhere else, she didnt physically grab me and throw me on the street but she told me to get out and go somewhere else. I know things might settle in a few days but it will only last so long, until another bill she runs up comes through the door and she wants me to help pay it off. Ive found a hostel for 9 euro a night, i might stay there for a while and try sort things out in my head

Balagan

A hostel is absolutely not a good place to go to sort your head out. It should be your last option. If you are determined to do that, please phone the St Vincent de Paul to see if they can help you or at least get their advice on what hostel etc., would be safest for you http://www.svp.ie/Contact-Us.aspx

If you can at all, speak to your mother and tell her you will be looking for a place in the New Year as soon as everything is open again. Look into moving in with relatives or friends, especially, as you said, any who live in a town/city. That will open up more possibilites for you - to do voluntary work (pre-approved by Social Welfare) which might lead to a Jobbridge internship, or to Fas or other courses/schemes.

Christmas is an enormously pressurized time. You know yourself if this is a good idea but see if you can help your mother more around the house, cooking, cleaning etc., although I know that cooking for yourself etc., was probably just to keep your head down and out of her way. The 50 Euro you give her should go into a general kitty for food which you would share also. I think most young adults still living at home give so much to their parents to take care of their share of food, heating, broadband etc., and then buy their own toiletries, treats etc. But it is far cheaper for meals to be cooked at the same time, clothes washed together etc., and for you to take your turn at doing this. If you and your mother could start talking, you could work out better arrangements. It may be that if you both went to MABS http://www.mabs.ie/ there would be a way for her to better manage bills etc. Anyway, I don't want to be telling you what to do, but do please find a way to really talk to her/listen to her even if it means bringing her out for a cup of coffee or finding time on your own. You are still parent and child, but both adults, and may well be able to negotiate better ways to handle everything. The worst enemy is not communicating.

Techno_Toaster

I would look into shared accommodation if I was you. It will be impossible for you to get rent allowance renting a house by yourself unless your well within the rent limits which can be checked on the citizens information website.

I was like you too but sit down and talk to your mum. I mean your dole isn't going to go up so try living on €100 a week, paying rent ( you have to pay a minimum contribution to rent), ESB, internet (if you need it) topping up your mobile, buying food, heating. When you move out YOU become solely responsible for all bills and you will still only be entitled to €100 a week that's non-negotiable. Also your chances of getting a council house are slim to none, its all based on a points system. The only hope if if you are homeless but god knows where they'll house you.

Good luck with it anyway you won't be moving any time soon with Christmas

piperh

Is there not a family member you could stay with or could play intermedietary between you and your mom. Its not a good time of the year to be looking for somewhere to live.

As a mom i can't imagine having this attitude as i paid the bills while my sons were/are at school and they wouldn't have risen by a huge amount because they suddenly hit 18. Now the helping around the house i do expect more of now that he is an adult :rolleyes:

Moonbeam

Are there loads of kids at home? Does she suffer from mental health issues?
I think the situation that she is putting you in is extremely unfair.
We don't know the full situation you may not be easy to live with but Christmas is still no time to throw you out.
Have you any relatives or friends that you can live with after christmas?
Have you contacted the local community welfare officer?
If she is getting rent allowance,is it taken in to account that you live at home and contribute?

talkinyite

Hi you can claim rent relief and then try for rent allowance.

guv999

Firstly, I hope you have managed to enjoy Christmas as best as possible
It seems like you are in a very difficult position and I really hope everything works out for you.
Further to @Balagan's comments around you and your Mum attending MABS - absolutely agree. I am aware of so many people who are not claiming what they are due in terms of tax credits, medical cards and other benefits. I believe that MABS are able to advise the income limits etc around all of these things, and it may be that your Mum could be able to claim more herself and that eases the pressure somewhat.
I believe that should you have to move out, the Community Welfare Officer will be a key point of contact for you and make sure that you use the resources available including any Young Adult Support Groups etc that operate in your area.

skippy2

While most of the posts are trying to be helpful and advising as you asked they all seem to be centred around what you can get from the state. Avoid getting caught in a social welfare trap at all costs. Even though the hotel industry is in the doldrums why not consider applying to some hotels. Do not wait to see an advert pick some of the larger hotels, put together a nice CV highlight your positive aspects and try to get a starting position anything will do. Galway or Cork or Limerick even try some of the smaller ones that are in the country,small towns and you might get accommodation provided and food also. Hotels will kill for good Irish staff you just have to find them, especially female who might have a bit of Charm/Cop on about them, you sound like you have plenty going for you, and with a bit of training if you show initiative you never know what will happen. Hope it works out for you and don't give up on getting something workwise. Best of luck. I think you're mother will be the loser when/if you move out.

mp22

skippy2 wrote: »

While most of the posts are trying to be helpful and advising as you asked they all seem to be centred around what you can get from the state.

Without wishing to offend that's what this forum is for.

Sound advice though.