hmmmwhattothink

LegacyUser

Hey all,

Looking for the advice from the good people of boards
Right, trying my best not to ramble heres my problem...broke up with longterm bf at start of summer. Scored with guy from work on a night out soon afterwards. (We work in different departments of same company so dont see him much, vaguely knew him).
Didn't think much of it at first as I presumed he was some sort of rebound thing!

He txted a bit after this and we kissed again few weeks later on another work night out.
Fast forward to about a month after this again and both our departments had to go away for a two week training thing (we work in a nice place ) Anyway had a ball for the two weeks and we were practically together the whole time.

Got home and that wkend he txted just how are you, the usual. I said i'd bite the bullet and ask him out on a proper date as I had begun to fall for him a bit. I just suggested meeting up sometime if he wanted and he replyed saying he'd love to. Met for drinks, great night, lots of kissing. Went our separate ways at end of night. He txted again after this and i presumed had he enjoyed our date he would suggest date no.2, yes?? But no, he was just txting with how are you kinda stuff! I didn't suggest another date as didn't wanna have to do all the chasing and so thought no point...so txting fizzled out to nothing.

Didn't hear from him again til about a month later when he txt just to wish me luck on something. This was about two months ago (hope i'm not being too confusing!)

Then last week I was out with a couple of people from work including him and at end of the night he kissed me. I'm seeing someone at the moment. Told guy from work this. So now i'm left feeling confused! I presume it's a case of he's just not that into you?? Like he's attracted to me but doesnt want more?? He's an attractive guy too by the way and can't see him having trouble "getting" girls but does not strike me as a player at all. I know soon after we first kissed he was asking a friend of mine when i had broken up with my bf. I also told some people from work when asked about us that i was just having fun as was newly out of r'ship (was true at the time!) which think got back to him. And no in case you're wondering neither of us to date has ever spoken about "us"...

So is there anything I can do as i really like this guy I've decided to end things with other guy i'm seeing as my hearts just not in it and its not really fair on him anyway coz he wants to get serious...PS despite probably sounding about 12 I'm actually 25 as is the guy in question

Beruthiel

Other than the odd snog, the guy from work isn't interested.

fungun

well if you said you didnt want anything serious and that got back to him, he might be trying to abide by your wishes. Or he just may not care that much. Only way to know is to ask/begin talking to him as if you want more.

Good call breaking up with current bf.

Miss Fluff

I've known couples who got together after month of pussy-footing around. It'll only be speculation whether he likes you or not as it's really not clear tbh, no wonder you're confused! I'd say most probably yes though Feck it, I'd just ask him out on a date, share some snogs and then tell him if he wants to see you again HE can do the asking. Then you'll know one way or the other. Hope it goes well for you!

curlzy

Well change the positions here OP. Imagine you fancy a guy and score him, you really like him but then you hear that he's just out of a LTR and that he's only looking for "a bit of fun". Would you go after him and risk getting your head wrecked or would you hang back? If I were you I'd play my hand. Ask him out again and see if you can turn the conversation around to dating, say you were just out of a LTR and have been having "a bit of fun" but that it's hollow and you'd like to properly date someone special, shy smile, wink wink, nudge nudge. That way he knows he's not just "a bit of fun" to you and feel a bit more confident taking it further.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Hey op here,

Thanks for the reply's. Sound advice as always from boards

Just in response to sunflower27, yes he did have plenty of opportunities to ask me out so thats why I'm presuming he's just not that into me (that wonderful phrase!)

MissFluff, pussyfooting around eachother is almost how i'd describe it at this stage. From his point of view I probably don't seem overly keen either as I haven't given anything away in terms of how I feel!

And curlzy, yup that's what I've thought myself.

Still, would I not sound crazy saying, oh you know the other night I said i was seeing someone, well i'm not now and what you think of us going out?! To be honest I'd prefer it this was coming from him aswel (Prob the old ego speaking here ) Prob won't see him for a bit now either as he's changing to a different department again in work and it's a fairly big place.

I dunno maybe I should just see what happens (in another 6 months haha). Just a bit frustrating now coz I do really like the guy! Oh well looks like il just have to grow a pair and suss him out...bit of rejection never hurt anyone right!