Do you feel that your atheism leads you into a lot of conflict?

Freiheit

Socially it doesn't but in the home it does. A sibling said a few weeks ago " I wonder who is right,Catholics or Protestants?",to someone who has thought it true it just seemed crazy to be wondering which version of the same fable was correct.

But it does lead me to conflict and sometimes I feel sad expressing my atheism because bizarre or not it provides some people with comfort. Sometimes it hurts me to dissent.

Does anyone relate?.

Ghost Buster

Freiheit wrote: »

Socially it doesn't but in the home it does. A sibling said a few weeks ago " I wonder who is right,Catholics or Protestants?",to someone who has thought it true it just seemed crazy to be wondering which version of the same fable was correct.

But it does lead me to conflict and sometimes I feel sad expressing my atheism because bizarre or not it provides some people with comfort. Sometimes it hurts me to dissent.

Does anyone relate?.

No. But other peoples religion does.:)

Worztron

I don't recall the author of this quote:
"Being an atheist is like being the only sober driver in the car and no one will let you drive."

I'd consider myself an agnostic.

wylo

Freiheit wrote: »

But it does lead me to conflict and sometimes I feel sad expressing my atheism because bizarre or not it provides some people with comfort. Sometimes it hurts me to dissent.

Does anyone relate?.

Getting over the fact that everyone around you holds onto certain beliefs that you dont buy into can be a very difficult thing, but once you work up the balls to get over it, its relaxing, and then you discover it was your own arrogance that got you annoyed, not the fact that they believe in something.

Links234

No. I can't say I've ever gotten into any conflict about my atheism at all.

marienbad

Links234 wrote: »

No. I can't say I've ever gotten into any conflict about my atheism at all.

In the 60's and 70's yeah, now it is a non-event.

Links234

In fact, I think the only comment at all on my atheism, was when I said in conversation to a friend that I was an atheist and being overheard by an old man who said "god forgive you" and went on about his business.

swiftblade

I never actually get into any arguments on the whole "god" issue, it's mainly peoples perceptions of what atheism is that gets me into arguments. 90% of people I talk to think it's some sort of cult (irony?) or religion. :mad:

wylo

swiftblade wrote: »

I never actually get into any arguments on the whole "god" issue, it's mainly peoples perceptions of what atheism is that gets me into arguments. 90% of people I talk to think it's some sort of cult (irony?) or religion. :mad:

would you consider being a vocalist regarding atheism less culty than not caring at all? just curious.

ShooterSF

Ive had a few doozies in the pub setting. Usually after a good few beers someone out with our core group (friend of a friend type thing) will mention some superstitious nonsense, usually psychics. I'll let out a groan sometimes or a reactionary eye roll and one of the core group will laugh and explain to the newcomer that I dont believe in any of that stuff. Few questions later and we're onto the subject of my lack of belief in deities. This often alarms them and eventually after discussing Christianity I get some version of paschal's wager thrown at me.
Now let me be straight, this is not even a monthly thing. I'd say or 2 or 3 times a year lately. With drink on me though it's quite fun and I love the anticipation of which angle they're gonna take.
Also living in Meath even in Navan is still rather rural and I'm one of two people who will claim to be atheists out of a group of 15-20 friends.

swiftblade

wylo wrote: »

would you consider being a vocalist regarding atheism less culty than not caring at all? just curious.

I will always try to explain, but at the end of the day if people don't want to listen I couldn't give a toss.

seantorious

Alot of conflict.
But always remember it isn't your atheism that causes it, rather its the lack of understanding and deep seated insecurities of the other person that causes the conflict.
I personally think if someone provokes it, it says more about their state of mind than you, specifically that they don't believe but put on a veil of resentment that you can admit it publically.
Saying that my parents still allow the Jehovas in and try to get them to understand that its just a book. I love my parents!

wonderfulname

Only on this site

In the real world I'm far to respectful of religious people, realistically why would I give a crap what they want to believe so long as it doesn't effect me.

I'd say being an atheist leads to less conflict, no early morning prayer meets means more sleep and consequently a happier, less confrontational wonderfulname.

fisgon

I would have to say that I don't really know many particularly religious people, so it's kind of hard to get into conflict over it. In fact, a religious person among the people I know would be more unusual than a non-believer. Am I unusual in this? (I don't live in Dublin)

yawha

A poll could be interesting here:

Under 25 and little or no conflict
25-35 and little or no conflict
35-45 and little or no conflict
45+ and little or no conflict
Under 25 and frequent conflict
25-35 and frequent conflict
35-45 and frequent conflict
45+ and frequent conflict

I'm 24 and don't recall ever having any serious conflict with anyone over my atheism. My mother wasn't too happy when I didn't want to go to Easter mass once, that's about it.

I imagine those who are older might experience more conflict?

Peregrinus

For any useful result, we may need to agree on what we mean by "conflict".

If I have a vigorous discussion in a pub (or anywhere else) with somebody who disagrees with me, I don't consider that a conflict - at least, not in an negative or pejorative sense. That's a conversation - and, hopefully, a good one. "Conflict", to be signficant or relevant, I think requires aggression, hostility, a lack of respect, an attempt to coerce or bully.

But others might take a different view, and some people - delicate flowers that they are! - experience any disagreement with, or challenge to, their beliefs as a "conflict".

I think, if people tell you that their atheism leads them into conflict (or, indeed, that it doesn't), you need to know what they think "conflict" is.

Doctor DooM

The only time I can recall conflict was around the time of the divorce referedum, when I got annoyed by some christian right wing party who were on the streets stating the children of broken homes don't want it.

I decided to announce to them they were wrong as I was one, and were I old enough I would be voting yes. They got hyper aggressive with me which was probably a good thing as they were attacking a child whilst trying to sway political votes.

But since then, no. I know exactly one person in my circle of friends who seems to want to talk religion with me and the funny thing is I always try to shut her down, it's not a discussion I want to have tbh.

fisgon

Peregrinus wrote: »

But others might take a different view, and some people - delicate flowers that they are! - experience any disagreement with, or challenge to, their beliefs as a "conflict".
.

This seems to describe a lot of religious people we could mention.

Peregrinus

fisgon wrote: »

This seems to describe a lot of religious people we could mention.

Indeed it does. Not just religious people, though.

i dont tend to discuss religion at all with anyone
only on here

Delirium

bluewolf wrote: »

i dont tend to discuss religion at all with anyone
only on here

Likewise.

Was at a family meal a while ago and religion came up for some reason. Didn't get involved in the conversation. Everyone was very much of the same opinion with regards to it and I didn't want to upset the apple cart by giving a different view.

seamus

Conflict, no. I tend not to get into religious discussions unless it's down the pub and most people are laid back about it.

Primarily I'm very aware that I risk seriously upsetting religious people, because no matter how you try to sugar coat it, speaking about atheism to a religious person will always come across as saying, "I think you're a complete moron and I laugh at your belief system". So like koth, I'll tend to sit back and say nothing if everyone else around the table are broadly agreeing with eachother.

To take the driving analogy above, it's like a religious person asking, "Who do you think should be driving the car", and you turn around and point out that there is no car, so the discussion is a complete and utter waste of time. It comes across as arrogant.

Particularly in this country, and particularly among older people, we're just not used to having anyone question our religious beliefs, so most people are very unprepared for it and get very upset about it.

Dades

No social conflict whatsoever.

Outside of Boards (and maybe Facebook!) I'm not an atheist, I'm just a dude.

Occupationally the wife will complain if I get a bit vocal at religious nonsense on the TV but that's because she's explained she doesn't want her bubble burst.

robindch

Dades wrote: »

I'm just a dude.

hmmm...

old hippy

No real conflicts but I know when my cousin visits from the States next year, there may be a little bit. And other relationships, well -
I've had religious girlfriends in the past, their appetite was undiminshed by their beliefs which was nice...

The only "conflict" I encounter is on these forums with the fervent, the zealouts(sic) and the blessed. But I guess it's better kept safely here than spill out into the real (godless) world

dmw07

ShooterSF wrote: »

Also living in Meath even in Navan is still rather rural and I'm one of two people who will claim to be atheists out of a group of 15-20 friends.

I get more stick in Dublin for being from Navan, than i ever have for being atheist

Beruthiel

bluewolf wrote: »

i dont tend to discuss religion at all with anyone
only on here

Same as.
Only people I talk about religion with are the hubby and daughter. Considering they are of a like mind, there's no real conflict.

Standman

I talk about it with my brother and father the odd time, they're not believers either so it's more like a light hearted discussion on philosophy or politics. I've always found it funny that my parents never had a real problem with me being an atheist but when it comes to eating with the fork in the right hand they kick up a fuss.

matrim

Not much conflict for me either. The most a bit of conflict when I first stopped going to mass but my parents soon got over it. Other than that I generally avoid discussing it with people as it's not worth the trouble. I've had a few animated conversations with people but generally it's just what I would consider general banter.

On a side not , personally I've found that some priests / nuns can be more open to atheism than the religious lay people. For example my GFs parents know I'm an atheist but say "it's just a faze" (ignoring that I've been an atheist for longer than I was a "catholic"), while her aunt who's a nun just accepts it.

mooliki

No conflicts, but plenty of good, heated debates. Mainly with siblings, and more between various forms of philosophy or ideals within degrees of atheism. I tend to take the more democratic theist-friendly side against militant atheist view points. Mostly because it drives my brother's crazy, but also because I genuinely believe aggression towards religious ideology can be as harming to intellectual development as religious fundamentalism.

Even outside the family, I would generally find discussions with more religious minded folk a relatively enjoyable experience. I quite like hearing other people's beliefs and don't think I've ever had negative experience sharing mine. I think you can generally tell when someone is going to use conversation merely as a launchpad to fire their opinions at you. In which case I'd say it's the people that cause the conflict, not the belief.

The Quadratic Equation

Doctor DooM wrote: »

I always try to shut her down ?

Why, is she a computer or an Irish business ?

Very intresting turn of phrase there.

Galvasean

Conflict? Nah. But interesting debates yes. Anyone I ever taken the time to talk to on the subject (I'm not one to bring it up as I don't like the idea of being pushy about such things) is mature enough to debate in a calm and adult manner.
That said, I did date a girl for a while who was quite spiritual and my atheism was a bit of an issue for her. She would often ask me if I thought her beliefs were stupid. She just struck me as being very insecure about the whole subject. Which was a shame, as we got on very well otherwise. I didn't think of it as a big issue, but apparently she did so that was that so to speak.
So yeah, one experience where me being an atheist led to any sort of conflict (I don't know if it is even proper 'conflict' so to speak). In the grand scheme of things that is not a whole lot. I've been in more/worse arguments about rap music, which says a lot as I'm not a huge rap fan.

Solair

I've never had any issue with it in Ireland (or Europe generally). I have however had a very bad reaction to mentioning that I was an atheist in the USA.

Basically, I was having a meal with a few friends of a guy that I was sharing an apartment with. It was just a sublet for a few months while I was doing an internship a few years ago.

Anyway, they kept going on and on about Ireland and how it must be so conservative and religious and asking me so different to 'The States'. I pointed out that I was an atheist and one of the girls actually dropped her cutlery! I also pointed out that I was a bit taken aback by how overtly religious Americans are these days. All the thanking God in speeches, and politicians courting the religious-conservative vote by making all sorts of very religious statements in the media and how it kind of reminded me of Ireland in the 1950s in some ways. With that, the rest of them just had that kind of jaw-dropping reaction and suddenly the whole atmosphere turned frosty!

I then got a "So, you mean you DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD?" question.. and from then on it was just a very uncomfortable meal.

Other than that, I've never had a bad reaction from anyone.

The other incident that was a little odd was when my grandmother passed away. She did not want a religious funeral, so respecting her wishes, we just had a simple ceremony with a bit of poetry reading, music and let people talk about things they remembered about her. It turned out very well and was just how she wanted it.

It was amazing though how many of her relatives were looking around confused and asking typically 'dotty awlwan' questions like : "so, was that the Mass then?"
"So was that an Atheist Mass then? ... It was very nice!"

One of her relatives who is a nun attended and read a quite moving piece of poetry. It was all very civilised and friendly!

legspin

To be honest I wish I had more conflict. I want the fight (childish I know but...). I do not know anyone religious well enough to start the fight i.e. at all and anyone I do know holds a weltanschauung not to disimilar to my own.

Sarky

Atheism solved any internal conflicts I used to have. Sorted out a lot of friction at home too.

My family was always a bit strange though.

EGAR

I have massive problems with my son's school over the whole issue.

But not at home. I come from a long line of non-believers , my OH has left the RC Church over 20 years ago, so there is no friction and its not something we discuss or bash other people with.

Although there was a collection recently for the PP's anniversary and we got a knock on the door as well. OH opened the door only to be greeted with: *Oh, it's you, never mind then*:D

Galvasean

EGAR wrote: »

Although there was a collection recently for the PP's anniversary and we got a knock on the door as well. OH opened the door only to be greeted with: *Oh, it's you, never mind then*:D

Oh wow, what do I have to do to get that kind of street cred?

EGAR

Galvasean wrote: »

Oh wow, what do I have to do to get that kind of street cred?

This is a VERY rural community so his fall from grace over 20 years ago was well discussed and condemned .

iguana

Ask me when I have kids. I'm honestly not too sure how well the lack of a christening will go down with my in-laws and maybe my grandmother. Though if my grandmother is upset about it, it will be my mother and uncles who will have to listen to the brunt of her worrying.

EGAR

iguana wrote: »

Ask me when I have kids. I'm honestly not too sure how well the lack of a christening will go down with my in-laws and maybe my grandmother. Though if my grandmother is upset about it, it will be my mother and uncles who will have to listen to the brunt of her worrying.

OH's mother threatened *extreme unction* .