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  • 14-12-2011 3:44pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi Guys,

    Regular poster but going unreg for this one.

    Basically im feeling quite low at the minute. And it happens quite frequently. Some backstory.

    About 2 years ago alot of my friendships kinda fell away. Most due to outgrowing them and my best friend to a massive row. And ever since then ive struggled to find a new group of friends. I have a job and friends at work, but outside all i really have is my girlfriend and my family and i dont really talk to any of my work colleagues outside work.

    Now in calender month most of the time I would be ok, id be happy with the social contact I have, but maybe 7 days out of the month id get really low and miss having close friends to talk with, or hang out with. Now my problem is my job is about 70km from where I live and all of my work colleagues live close to work. And they all share houses together, so i feel like im missing out on it all.

    Ive kinda come around to the idea that im suffering a quarter life crisis, where im trying to desperatly fill my blank social life with anyone, but i could be wrong.... which is why im here.

    Has anyone had anything similar to this, and have any sort of ideas?


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    I worked in a job for years where I was the only employee, so like you, I didnt have the 'automatic' friendships from work (in your case they dont meet up with you outside of the job). The only answer is you have to get out there and solve the problem yourself. Best friends wont knock on your door, you have to go out and find them. You can do this through sport, clubs, charity work, committees, any stuff that gets you out meeting new people. Its hard at first, but give it time. Be proactive. Once you find a group or club you find good, offer help to others in it, arrange meetups dont wait for someone else to do it. (sport is great for this, you can do joint training sessions etc).

    On another point you made, I fell out massively with my best mate years ago. It was a huge mess and all my friends took sides, meaning I was a little out in the cold. I got on with things, and the dust settled. Three years later, we met up, and repaired our friendship, which is different now, and actually better. So that can happen too, if you want it to.


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