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So hard not to contact

  • 14-12-2011 12:33pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I'm going to keep this as short as I can. My long term girlfriend and I have recently had serious problems which culminated in me majorly messing up a cpl of weeks ago. We had broken up but through a few calls etc (it long distant at the moment) she decided we need a break from each other but will see if we can fix things when she is back for xmas....

    Within a few days we were calling and texting as usual, even more so, she was saying "oh I miss you so much, im sure we'll work it out...., don't worry we'll be fine.... this is just a blip etc" I was delighted as I love her with all my heart and would do absolutely anything to mke it up. I would also say that the calls and texts (mainly) were instigated by her.

    The next 2 days the texts (no calls) were cold and short compared to the day before. I couldn't understand it and after the renewed hope of the good stuff I was very rough emotionally.

    So I called her the following night and said that I didn't know what to think and that I felt like I had been going through the first 2/3 days of a break up over and over because of this....She said that she shouldn't have been texting and calling as she was but that she succumbed as she had missed me alot. She wanted to have a break from eachother as she wanted to make me realise that what I had done could never happen again, too scare me as such. (I won't go into the details of the problems we have but she has every right to dump me if the truth be told.

    I said that I thought it best that we just cut all contact for the next week and a half and that I would see her at xmas and we'll work it out, maybe go away for a night. (I am back living at home since she moved for work a few months ago, I am trying to get a job so as to join her but it has been slow). I said that I think we just needed to miss each other properly to realise exactly what we have in eachother. She agreed that this was a good idea and we both agreed that we'd definately sort things out at xmas. She and so here I am.

    That was two days ago but I am finding it so difficult not to text or email... We've not gone a day without contact for nearly 2 years.

    So my questions are really

    1. Was i right to suggest no contact.

    2. Does anyone have any advice on how to resist the urge? I really think I need to see this through as she already sees me as somewhat weak and I want to prove I am not.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Mate,

    I was in a very similar position as yourself.

    Broke up with the GF of 4 years about 10 weeks ago. She wanted a break to see if it was right. I was like you thinking about it and texting her but one of my friends told me to leave it and concentrate on myself and not to contact her.

    That advice helped me so much. Its not the best time of the year to get a job but go out and try your hardest. Also surround yourself with your friends. They will always be there for you.

    I know she is coming home in a week and a half but suggest to meet up for a drink. Play it cool and I wouldn't suggest going away. You want to take it slow and regain her trust.

    Hopefully everything works out for you.


  • #3
    kitten29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭kitten29


    My boyfriend and i took a break just for a weekend as a trial mostly because he was working away and he wanted to see if he found it hard not to contact me.

    I was checking my phone every 10 mins literally. The break was needed as we were relying too much on each other and we got our own space for the weekend.

    He is now in Australia and i am here. It did help prepare me for the long distance part.

    I think for you the break is good. Then over Christmas you will see each other face to face and get all your feeling out in the open. All the best with it anyway.


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