grown apart

LegacyUser

Myself and the other half split up for a month recently as I felt that we had grown apart, didnt have much in common anymore and were basically living together as best mates but not in a relationship. So we decided to give it another shot after the month as we missed each other and we talked over what was going wrong in the relationship and how we planned to address it. But now we are back together.....its exactly the same as before for me. We dont seem to be able to break the rut we were in together, although the sex has been the best ever. Can anyone with similar experience give so advice?

Forever Hopeful

headwrecked1980 wrote: »

Myself and the other half split up for a month recently as I felt that we had grown apart, didnt have much in common anymore and were basically living together as best mates but not in a relationship. So we decided to give it another shot after the month as we missed each other and we talked over what was going wrong in the relationship and how we planned to address it. But now we are back together.....its exactly the same as before for me. We dont seem to be able to break the rut we were in together, although the sex has been the best ever. Can anyone with similar experience give so advice?

How long have you two been together? Sounds like neither of you are making the effort to work on the relationship. What was the plan to address the issues? Do you communicate at all? Do you go out on dates together? Do you miss each other when apart during the day?
Relationships are hard work but you have to think about whether you'd be happier together than apart. Again this depends on how long you guys have been together.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for the reply, we have been together almost 7 years. Did the whole buying a house together and though we'd be together forever. We rarely go out together as we seem to have different interests now, I like going to pubs, gigs etc and she doesnt. She is more of a home bird likes going to friends houses etc most of her friends are settled down with kids now and we dont have any kids despite trying so it just feels like its make or break now. Have often suggested dates etc but its very diffucult to motivate someone to do something that they just dont want to do!

sorry forgot to say that yes we do communicate but I also always feel that she is holding back from me on certain things, like saying what she really thinks even if it would upset me or telling me what she would like to see change, cause she hasent really told me what bothers her about the relationship. We had agreed to go out together as a couple more, also go on nights out with other couples, both of us agreed that we needed councelling for various issues, i've gone yet she hasent.

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar situation. With my girlfriend for around three years now, broke up a few months ago but that didn't last. Spoke a lot about trying to work at the relationship but none of this has materialized.

Like you, OP, I like going out and doing stuff but my girlfriend doesn't. She's happy to sit at home and watch TV or look at stuff on her laptop and I'm not

When I try to get her to come with me to gigs or the like, the whole thing is a big ordeal. I feel bad about just leaving her at home even though she says this is okay, but well, I'd rather share my life with someone, not go out by myself and come home to someone in the same spot that I left them in on the sofa.

Basically, I've never felt so lonely in the company of another person.

This just puts me off so much. I'm bored and as a result not really interested in sex which makes her upset. I try to talk to her about it but she doesn't get that the lack of sex is an effect of the relationship issues not a cause.

Basically, I've come to the decision that I'm ending it after Christmas. It sounds like you should too!