Limerick

senorwipesalot

There was a young man named Frank

MagicMarker

who had a **** in a bank

Celly Smunt

who eventually got banned

Mint Sauce

pmcmahon wrote: »

who eventually got banned

Aren't Limericks suppose to rhyme.

Dotrel

.... for abuse by the hand

Stinicker

which was agsint the law of the land,

El Weirdo

...you're a lady?

Celly Smunt

irish-stew wrote: »

Aren't Limericks suppose to rhyme.

not on my watch.

Birdie086

And there were many who just said 'And.....................?'

Funkfield

I honestly thought this was going to be about stabbings.

senorwipesalot

who liked to pedal n" crank

Where To

There was a young lady named Fanny


Am I doing it wrong?

ilovesleep

There was a young man named Frank,
He got a massive loan from the bank,
The cheap dirty fcuker,
Spent it all on coke and hookers,
And now he's complaining to Pat the plank.

Dotrel

There once was a man from Moyross.

Solnskaya

There was a young poster named Sam,
who banged out as much as she can,
most which was sh1te,
some that was right,
and lots that sound just like a man.

senorwipesalot

Funkfield wrote: »

I honestly thought this was going to be about stabbings.

self stabbing

michael999999

who was really a tranny

Funkfield

There was a young man from Louth,
Who was stung on the lip by a bee,
When asked if it hurt,
He said "No, not a bit"
"And it can do it again if it likes."

ilovesleep

michael999999 wrote: »

who was really a tranny

There was once a lad named Mickey,
Who was really a pretty tranny,
He enjoyed dressing up,
But that wasn't enough,
Cause he longed to have his own fanny.

Solnskaya

Funkfield wrote: »

There was a young man from Louth,
Who was stung on the lip by a bee,
When asked if it hurt,
He said "No, not a bit"
"And it can do it again if it likes."

This works better if he is from Clonfert... actually, no, no it doesn't.

Solnskaya

There was a fine Banker in town,
who sold CFD's all around.
They all turned to sh1t,
but we took the hit,
because the system took us all for clowns.

This is quite addictive..

senorwipesalot

There was a young woman named Gertie






Cmon solyns .finish it in the style of edna kenny,u know u can.

randylonghorn

senorwipesalot wrote: »

There was a young man named Frank

There was a young laddie called Wipesalot,
Who could never get it into the slot,
He tried and he tried
And tried 'til he died ...
Now young Wipesalot's virginity is left to rot!

Solnskaya

senorwipesalot wrote: »

There was a young woman named Gertie

Who loved a Senor named Bertie.
She voted a lot, ensuring his slot,
till tribunals revealed he was dirty?
Am I doing this right?

michael999999

There is a party called fianna fail
Who thought they would always be in the dail
They had lots of friends in the galway tent
But all the bankers ended up bent
and screwed us for every last cent

ilovesleep

senorwipesalot wrote: »

There was a young woman named Gertie






Cmon solyns .finish it in the style of edna kenny,u know u can.

There was a young woman called Gertie,
Who was dirty, cheap and slutty,
Upon taking a closer look,
It was Enda Kenny dressing up,
In Merkels dirty, sh1tty panties.

Samich

Not the best thread of all time.

senorwipesalot

Samich wrote: »

Not the best thread of all time.

There was a young man called samich
whose ringpiece had taken some damich
when he lets off a fart
it is always a shart
thats why he smells of cabbich

FTGFOP

senorwipesalot wrote: »

in the style of edna kenny.

There was a young woman named Gertie
who went around in a skirty
difficult decisions; hard to make
unemployed; no jobs to take
/B]line removed due to spending cuts[B

JerryHandbag

Its a privilege to be from Limerick and I feel sorry for those of you who aren't :P

ilovesleep

There is a man named Brian Cowen,
With his paycheck, he grew 5 chins,
He sold us out,
To keep his fat pout,
And to save his mates from their sins.

hatrickpatrick

There was a young waitress from Yale
On her breasts were the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

ilovesleep

This is from politics.ie so not my own work but I love it:

There once was a man who devalued the punt
Who pulled many a dodgy stunt
He stuttered and stammered
And drank Bass til he was hammered
And now he's remembered as a good for nothing **nt

Ellis Dee

There once was a fellow from Kent
whose prick in the middle was bent.
To save all the trouble
he shoved it in double
and instead of coming, he went.:)

The_Thing

There was a young woman from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
Out of her ass grew bunches of grass,
And out of her fanny grew weeds.

Batsy

There was a young man named Cameron,
Who told the EU to do one.
When he spotted that Merkel,
Had a face so purple,
He knew he had to do it more often.

W.Shakes-Beer

There once was a man who obliged,
... ??

Fúck

charlemont

There once was a thug called Wayne
He enjoyed inflicting pain
John Dessie and Ger were also insane
Wayne is no longer in control
on protection and doing his whack in the hole

Batsy

Limerick, Limerick, Limerick,
Such a crappy town it is.
I went there last year,
And was struck down with fear,
And couldn't help being sick.

Bumblegoose

There once was a man on Boards
His granny had just been to Lourdes
She fell over a van
Turned into a man
Now in her underwear theres a sword..

Sword as in penis. In case it made no sense..

ilovesleep

There was one a fat boll0cks in town,
It was ex-taoiseach Brian Cowen,
He got drunk on sherry,
sold us into debt slavery,
And now we may need to bring back the pound.

ilovesleep

There was once a lovely gent named Biggins,
He hated Fianna Fail with a passion,
He educated us all,
About the shenanigans in the dail,
Delighted he was with Fianna Fails trashing.

Liam Byrne

Funkfield wrote: »

I honestly thought this was going to be about stabbings.

Why so ? Have you ever been to Limerick, or do you take tabloid ****e as truth ?

There once was a thread here on boards
That was browsed and read by all the hordes
Of tabloid-rag readers
Those poor bottom-feeders
Who believe all the media whores

Liam Byrne

Batsy wrote: »

Limerick, Limerick, Limerick,
Such a crappy town it is.
I went there last year,
And was struck down with fear,
And couldn't help being sick.

A sad little poster called batsy
Once posted something false and nasty
When they tried to put down
My city as a "town"
I had to correct the poor patsy

Funkfield

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Why so ? Have you ever been to Limerick, or do you take tabloid ****e as truth ?

There once was a thread here on boards
That was browsed and read by all the hordes
Of tabloid-rag readers
Those poor bottom-feeders
Who believe all the media whores

I saw the title on my way to bed,
Then made a quip off the top of my head.
But some of the folk,
Did not get the joke.
It's After Hours, not a regional thread.

johndaman66

There was a young man named Denzil,
whose dick was as sharp as a pencil,
It went through an actress,
two sheets and a matress,
And shattered a china utensil.

Liam Byrne

Funkfield wrote: »

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Why so ? Have you ever been to Limerick, or do you take tabloid ****e as truth ?

There once was a thread here on boards
That was browsed and read by all the hordes
Of tabloid-rag readers
Those poor bottom-feeders
Who believe all the media whores

I saw the title on my way to bed,
Then made a quip off the top of my head.
But some of the folk,
Did not get the joke.
It's After Hours, not a regional thread.

I read this and I nearly choked
For the true definition of joke
Is a story that's funny
You know - on the money ?
And not some cliched ****e of a yoke

Liam Byrne

Just a quick one re Limericks, btw......there's meant to be a rhythm to the lines - not just having them rhyme.

http://www.poetryteachers.com/poetclass/lessons/limerick.html

44leto

How about some haiku poetry about Limerick

Limerick drugs crime
People live there as dawn breaks
Home of the garryowen


Err OK Haiku is notoriously difficult to write.
OK stick to Limericks

Karmafaerie

sigh:rolleyes:

im invisible

Buy it
sell it
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