Did he call me fat?!

LegacyUser

Hi, I've posted here before about sleeping with a younger guy he's 18, I'm 23. Well anyway I was starting to feel a little worried that I might be too fat for him, I've never realy been worried about this before, I get a good bit of attention from guys where ever I go and, I'm a size 12 with a little bit of a tummy, darn chocolate! But he is pretty skinny.

So I stupidly asked him did he think I was too big for him, and he said ''no your OK'' right that to me doesnt sound like much of a complement!! In my mind this translated to ah sure you'll do. Although he did recover a bit later on he said he thinks I'm beautiful

I know its only sleeping together but I would like him to think I'm good enough for him. He is very inexperienced with girls in his defenceI, he's only had one gf for 2 months and was a virgin before I slept with him. Also due to his course (Physic's) he doesnt meet many girls, as there are none in his course.

Am I over reacting? He probably does like me!

Firetrap

If you say you're only sleeping together, should it really matter what he thinks? Truthfully, how do you feel about him? Are you sure you're just with him for the sex?

tinkerbell

First of all, why did you ask him such a dumb question? If you were too fat for him, he wouldn't be with you in the first place. So there was no need for it to be asked!

don't ask stupid questions if you dont want to hear the answers

and don't start having a go about him being inexperienced. what has that to do with anything. you think if he were more experienced he should shower you in compliments when you ask insecure questions?

Jumpy

Even if you were as you say "fat" just because he is skinny doesnt mean you have to be.

The fact that he is with you in the first place says you are attractive to him.

If you are concerned that he has weight issues, just dont get bigger. There is obviously nothing wrong with you right now in his eyes.

floorpie

Eh let me put it to you this way: hypothetically, if you were morbidly obese and asked the same question, there are some guys who would make you feel bad with their response and some guys who'd make you feel good. That doesn't necessarily mean one or other is lying...it's...

Well let me put it another way, i remember probably 15+ times when i first started seeing girls, where i completely put my foot in it by mistake, and unwittingly (in a similar way to your guy), and they're mistakes i'll never make again. So i kind of disagree with bluewolf on this, it's not that inexperience is bad...it's just...inexperienced, i.e. you learn how to respond to certain things when you're put on the spot.

So to combine these two points, there's a chance that he is unused to being put on the spot like that, but, even if he wasn't, it's a silly question to ask because words are cheap (so there's no sense in saying he 'recovered' later because he also said you're beautiful). On the other hand, you *can* judge somebody by their actions, and apparently he felt bad enough about his response to think about it and revise it later on. So don't be worrying (and don't test people with questions :S).

Katgurl

You asked him if you were fat (why would you do such a thing) and he said no. So I don't understand the title of the thread.

If you're not very skinny it's unlikely he'll burst into laughter and be aghast a such a question. Frankly I'd prefer his reaction to such a performance, those men are hard to deal with.

Don't ask questions like that, just get out of habit now. Confidence is sexier than rock hard abs.

As for him being skinny (sweeping generalisation coming) I have found that skinny men love my curvy shape the most, probably because weight never even occurs to them as a problem.

A0

You are fuck buddies, so no need to put some thinking or subtleties in this relationship...

ElleEm

did he? wrote: »

Hi, I've posted here before about sleeping with a younger guy he's 18, I'm 23. Well anyway I was starting to feel a little worried that I might be too fat for him, I've never realy been worried about this before, I get a good bit of attention from guys where ever I go and, I'm a size 12 with a little bit of a tummy, darn chocolate! But he is pretty skinny.

So I stupidly asked him did he think I was too big for him, and he said ''no your OK'' right that to me doesnt sound like much of a complement!! In my mind this translated to ah sure you'll do. Although he did recover a bit later on he said he thinks I'm beautiful

I know its only sleeping together but I would like him to think I'm good enough for him. He is very inexperienced with girls in his defenceI, he's only had one gf for 2 months and was a virgin before I slept with him. Also due to his course (Physic's) he doesnt meet many girls, as there are none in his course.

Am I over reacting? He probably does like me!

God, you ask are you too big for him and expect a compliment?
That seems very needy. Just allow him to be him, don't try to get him to say stuff you want to hear by asking ridiculous leading questions.

It was a silly question to ask. As Bluewolf said, don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answers.

Miss Fluff

Why would you go fishing for compliments OP?A compliment should be given as a genuine and unprompted statement, asking for them is just terribly needy.

I'd also really question your true motives.You say it's only about sex and yet it's the second thread you've started on the chap....

tenchi-fan

Oh, op! Time to grow up a bit.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the relpies. I forgot to mention that this came about after he was making comments that he is such a skinny guy which he is but regardless. But yes it was stupid to ask him if he thought I was too big for him. But to answer a few of the issues raised

Fire trap - Yes we are only sleeping together I do not see it to going any further then that as I'm moving away very soon. I just had a stupid insecure moment

And I wasnt having a go that he is inexperienced! I was just saying that he is. Ya I am not going to ask anymore stupid questions and just let it be what it is, which is actually pretty amazing for the most part!! He has got my favourite DVD for tomorrow night

Taltos

Closing as issue resolved per OPs last post.

Taltos