Text Dumped!!!!

LegacyUser

Hi, em not sure what to say here. I got dumped by text this morning, after almost 3 years together. I am in shock. Pretty hurt, being crying alot.
She just said she couldnt do it face to face because she would hurt me! Her FB status changed, male's already offering their 'support', why?
Her phone is off, so no way of getting any sort of well, anything.
Only last night she said she loved me and would call me in the morning.
Utterly confused and hurt.
Opinions/advice?

Alas guys/girls can be like that a lot - when they see a relationship change, they feel they can swoop in like a shark!

The most important thing to do right now is to keep yourself occupied. Delete her as a friend (you could hide her from your newsfeed, but alas this will not remove the temptation to check out her profile), don't try and contact her and go out. Get in contact with your friends. Do something. The first few days/weeks are the worst, but it'll get better.

If she was as cowardly to do it like that, then it somewhat sounds like you dodged a bullet, though I realize I'm judging her based solely on that, as despicable as it is.

Swampy

Delete her email and phone number. Remove her as a friend on facebook asap.
Then try and move on.

CardinalJ

Delete on FB as fast as you can.

Abrean

Just over a year ago I was in your exact position, dumped and by text of all things!

My advice, delete her number and delete her off facebook, it's going to hurt, of course it is but now my only wish is that I'd realised sooner what a coward he was to do it like that and that I'd stopped staying in contact sooner.

Take it a few days at a time, and even though you don't feel like it try to get yourself up and doing things to take you're mind off her. The important thing is it will get better! The day will come when you don't think about her and the fact that she dumped you will mean nothing.

It's Christmas, there's plenty to do and hopefully you've plenty of friend to help keep you occupied. Try to forget about her and move on.

Firetrap

Try not to over-analyse what she said last night or second-guess what she's thinking. Sometimes people do get dumped out of the blue

Agree with what the others said. Delete her off Facebook, her number off your phone and try your best not to make contact. In time you will come to terms with what has happened and sort your head out. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Hey OP.

I'm sorry to hear what happened. If it's any help about 2 months ago the same thing happened to me.
2 years together, got a email from her a few days after my birthday and we have not been in contact since. In fairness it's a cowardly aweful way to do things and I thought at the time I at least deserved to be able to contact her in some way but I was blocked from calls, emails, defriended on facebook and everything else before I could even attempt to make contact. I've had no contact from her but have had some awful facebook messages from her friends and 2 threatening text messages from her father. In my case things said about me and the cause of the breakup were not even true in the slightest, but people can be very childish and spiteful in these situations, just rise above it.

Look, it's heart breaking. If it just happened today then I know how bad you feel and how many questions you have. Unfortunately it sounds like she's not grown up enough to do the adult thing and just discuss it with you and end it that way.

2 months on it still hurts but my family/friends have supported me and just got it into my head that if this is what she is really like then it's probably better off I found out now and not way down the line when there's a marriage or kids involved or something like that as it would be so much worse.

I know you'll want to contact her and this may fall on deaf ears but just don't. She's made some sort of a decision and in the long run you'll eventually meet someone else and realise you never needed any of this crap in your life but since it's so fresh I know it hurts. The thing is, if she's not taking calls then she's not willing to talk and if you were to persist she'll just spin that in a bad way so I'd say just leave it. If she wants to contact you in the future, she will.

You'll feel better in a few days/weeks gradually so just try to keep that in mind.

Best of luck OP.

LegacyUser

Hey, so I'm actually in bits all day, I have been hiding it from my family but I think I'll have to go to a doc or something. The emotions and feelings I am experiencing, I just can't cope. The paranoia has set in big time, I just don't know why she did it like this.
It's a bit complicated but I think I have figured out why she dumped me. She began to hang around with an older crowd, she is 21, they are roughly late 30's early 40's. Basically they are stoners, not married, party loving type. I did'nt mind at first but again through FB I seen this particular guy taking a particular liking to her, so we had a row about that, not good obviously.
The killer is, this same guy, was the first to comment on her status change, and that 'He would contact her later, as they obviously had a lot to talk about'!
So between this, the shock and sadness, it looks as if I'm gonna need support from somewhere cause most of my friends are abroad I feel I'm doomed.
Thanks for listening

Firetrap

Don't go the doc as first port of call just in case they're one of those people who throws pills at things.

Dionysus

textie wrote: »

Text Dumped!!!!.... Opinions/advice?

You're free. Enjoy it. Recreate your life, re-imagine it, and go after your dream.

yenoah

OP

No need to go to the doctor. There is nothing wrong with you. You are feeling sad which is exactly the way you should be feeling right now. You are in perfect working order. Your saddness will go, but you will have to endure a week or two of pain first, followed by a longer period of remembering and reflection.

I want to say this!!!
I was told that my Mom had died by text. The text was sent to me by my sister. That was four years ago. I have forgiven her but will never forget it. Text is so inappropriate for any such correspondence. The fact that she broke it off via text and has gone to ground says something about her. She's not the one for you. Shes probably a bit narcisistic and is certainly a coward.

Have a good cry, try and get to a friend or a good family member and do what ya have to do, analyse it to death, whinge, cry, declare your undying love, bitch about her older friends etc. followed by a good nights sleep.

If A breaks up with B by text.......B has had a lucky escape. I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone so mean, cheap, cowardly and selfish.

cazzzzz

That is just terrible, can't imagine how you must feel.

My advice is delete her off facebook. The hardest thing is to see what she's upto, her pictures etc.

You're much better off without her; she didn't even have the cop on to meet you face to face after so long together.

Move on- you'll find someone who actually appreciates you.

There's light at the end of the tunnel and you will be fine.

These things take time- regardless of how exactly you broke up.

Break all contact with her, she's not worth your time clearly.

cazzzzz

Spend time with your friends- eat lots of chocolate

mikemac1

Call up your friends and go on an almighty Twelve Pubs of Christmas session

Would be good for you to get out of the house and head off with the lads

Vicxas

Sorry to hear OP, Its happened me before. Very cowardly way of doing things.

curlzy

Wow OP, just wow. I often think "thats the worst person I've ever heard of" and then I come on boards and I hear of worse. Now I'm not going to give you a pep talk I'm going to be straight with you. You've dodged a MAJOR bullet here. That girl is nothing but a slimy, slithery, pathetic and hurtful little cow. You don't deserve someone like that, you deserve someone that knows how to communicate and be in an adult relationship, not someone who'll dump you by text after 3 years. So yeah stop worrying about what that scumbag is up to, delete her from your life and let her go f*ck a dope-smoking grandad and the wonderful life that leads to:rolleyes:. LOL. Seriously OP, she's done you a huge favour, don't give her another thought, enjoy single life for a while and I'm sure next time you see her you'll realise you've had a lucky escape. And FFS don't give her an ego boost by trying to contact her.

Seriously best of luck OP.

Maple

OP hasn't been back to this thread in 10 days, so I'm closing it.

Maple