Men's emotional health

Seanán

Hi guys,

I was looking for a forum or page to publish this message and this seemed to be the most appropriate.

I know men's emotional health is a huge issue. Along with heart attacks, prostate cancer, mental and emotional health is the biggest health problem men have. This week in my town a very popular man hung himself. He was a very cheerful and seemingly happy man so it has shocked everyone.

I know I've had to deal with awful emotional stuff over the years, mostly stuff with women. I know I am not alone in this. I have seen one of my best friend's marriage break up and seen how that hurt him.

So what I would like to do is to see who here would be interested in trying to start something to help men deal with emotional health. If your emotional health is not right, your mental and physical health will suffer too. Let's come together and see what can be done - men helping other men with their emotional ****.

Feel free to reply or send me a private message if you are interested in helping.

Thanks a million.

Seanán

LeeHoffmann

Great intention Seanan and good idea. Just want to direct you to this thread as it's based on the same idea

Seanán

Thanks for your reply. I read the thread you mentioned. I think it is a great idea. I'd like to see something more permanent be done so that men all over the country can be assisted with their emotional and mental health.

It would be good for a group of people to come together to form a group or project to help men with their emotional health.

BigDuffman

Good idea Seanán. There's one of in the Ladies lounge for the wimminz no reason why shouldn't have one here.

Seanán

Hi guys,

Is no one bothered? Is everyone's emotional health perfect? I thought some people here might be interested in trying to start something to help men deal with the emotional pain that comes with life.

We really need to do something as a lot of men are suffering and are turning to alcohol, drugs, violence and suicide to deal with their pain and trouble.

So let's do something!

phone2000

This is a great idea for a thread!

From a personal perspective I can honestly say the last few years have been shocking bad and at times I've felt the stress of everything (relationship break up and financial worries in particular) would be the death of me. I don't mind admitting that a couple of times over this period I've thought of just ending it all. There never seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although the issues are still there, I certainly have some more tools to deal with this stress, and even if many people didn't post on this thread, then at least they could read it, and know that they may not be the only person going through these things and, could hopefully, take some solace from that.

BigDuffman

phone2000 wrote: »

I don't mind admitting that a couple of times over this period I've thought of just ending it all. There never seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hopefully your through that patch mate. As even though there doesn't seem to be light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark the tunnel, taking that route just extinguishes any chance of ever finding that light.

Tefral

I have to admit, i have no idea where the line between the normal everyday worries and the "mental Health" worries is. I read Alan Quinlans book, and it seems the line was blurred for him too..

I do know for a fact though over the last two years there is somethings I should have spoken to people about. I know that now looking back but I know ill keep making the same mistake as per my first paragraph.

newman10

phone2000 wrote: »

This is a great idea for a thread!

From a personal perspective I can honestly say the last few years have been shocking bad and at times I've felt the stress of everything (relationship break up and financial worries in particular) would be the death of me. I don't mind admitting that a couple of times over this period I've thought of just ending it all. There never seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although the issues are still there, I certainly have some more tools to deal with this stress, and even if many people didn't post on this thread, then at least they could read it, and know that they may not be the only person going through these things and, could hopefully, take some solace from that.

I feel that there are 1000's of men around the country who are in a similar situation and have no support,feel isolated and are living in fear.

I have not worked in 12 months (lost the family business) entitled to nothing have had the worst Christmas ever, bags packed but i refused to go and was called a "stupid f***ing c**t" by my 22 yo daughter.

Lot of issues to work out and very isolated.

PS Went looking for a counsellor last Tuesday but no one back to work until Monday

The issues towards male mental health are changing slowly in this country. Bit by bit the stigma that surrounded it is falling away.

If you feel like you need to talk to somebody, see the links in my sig, or even if you would like more information.

krudler

Right now I feel really stuck as to what to do with my life. I'm in a job I hate, as in physically detest going to every day, but I live alone and my rent would cripple me on the dole, might be moving in with friends at the end of the month though will find out soon if they're staying in Limerick or leaving as well, if so then yay, massive rent savings, can start putting away money and go to Canada.
if I could quit my job tomorrow I would I hate it that much, but I'd never survive 9 weeks before I could claim the dole, am barely scraping by at the moment.

guitarzero

Idea

How about we have a thread where we simply have solutions. We already have a few threads (one at least) where theres discussion about ones life and their personal issues which I think serves a great function.

Maybe something like "Today I did/took/spoke with/attended etc this and I felt it worked for me because..."? If it got into discussion maybe the thread would lose the impact of solution - solution - solution.

Just an idea, if anyone wants to contribute then feel free.

krudler

krudler wrote: »

Right now I feel really stuck as to what to do with my life. I'm in a job I hate, as in physically detest going to every day, but I live alone and my rent would cripple me on the dole, might be moving in with friends at the end of the month though will find out soon if they're staying in Limerick or leaving as well, if so then yay, massive rent savings, can start putting away money and go to Canada.
if I could quit my job tomorrow I would I hate it that much, but I'd never survive 9 weeks before I could claim the dole, am barely scraping by at the moment.

TBH it sounds like you should move in with your friends, quit your job and go on the dole. If you stay 3 months on social welfare, you can apply to do an internship through FAS, which could help you pick up new skills and even possibly re-train you in something entirely different. If you do it this way, you could be getting the full €188, as well as €50 allowance for doing the internship, giving out €238 a week. I know it's not much, but surely it's better than staying in a job you hate?

Also, don't listen to any of those "at least you have a job" naysayers. You have a job, yes, but it is one you hate. Nobody should be forced to take on a job that could actively damage not only their mental health, but their physical health too.

krudler

Its definitely affecting my mental health, its a desk job, call centre, the Auschwitz of jobs :pac: I joke about it a lot on boards and make people laugh a lot about what I deal with in there,but its a truly soul destroying job that I only regret staying in this long. I could, and should, write a book about it, but its basically Groundhog Day in there, same calls every day, same routine, same dopes of managers, same dickhead customers. it just wears you down, a lot of people there are secretly hoping for redundancy, I'd get a decent amount as I've been there a few years, probably wont happen though so its time to get out.

most other jobs around are the same old retail and working with the public crap as well, so its just starting on yet another ladder to a dead end job. I have worked on a couple of short films and even wrote some stuff myself, but since most film resources in Ireland are based in or around Dublin I cant always get time off to go work on stuff or meet friends.

its getting more and more likely I'll head to Canada later in the year, know a few people who went and loved it, and it appeals to me more than Australia. I think at this rate I should just hand in my notice and work the month, look for another job, cos if I dont have that fear of unemployment thing I wont get off my ass and do it. gaahh what to do.

krudler

krudler wrote: »

Its definitely affecting my mental health, its a desk job, call centre, the Auschwitz of jobs :pac: I joke about it a lot on boards and make people laugh a lot about what I deal with in there,but its a truly soul destroying job that I only regret staying in this long. I could, and should, write a book about it, but its basically Groundhog Day in there, same calls every day, same routine, same dopes of managers, same dickhead customers. it just wears you down, a lot of people there are secretly hoping for redundancy, I'd get a decent amount as I've been there a few years, probably wont happen though so its time to get out.

most other jobs around are the same old retail and working with the public crap as well, so its just starting on yet another ladder to a dead end job. I have worked on a couple of short films and even wrote some stuff myself, but since most film resources in Ireland are based in or around Dublin I cant always get time off to go work on stuff or meet friends.

its getting more and more likely I'll head to Canada later in the year, know a few people who went and loved it, and it appeals to me more than Australia. I think at this rate I should just hand in my notice and work the month, look for another job, cos if I dont have that fear of unemployment thing I wont get off my ass and do it. gaahh what to do.

The problem with moving because of your mental health is that while you're changing surroundings, you're still taking those issues with you. Sometimes it's best to sort these out before moving on. Quit your job, go on the Dole and use this time to do it. It's pretty much what I did and I'm damned glad I did. If I did not, I may not be the way I am now.

Also the problem is that I could give you advice until the cows come home, but it's up to you to actually do something about it.

newman10

guitarzero wrote: »

Idea

How about we have a thread where we simply have solutions. We already have a few threads (one at least) where theres discussion about ones life and their personal issues which I think serves a great function.

Maybe something like "Today I did/took/spoke with/attended etc this and I felt it worked for me because..."? If it got into discussion maybe the thread would lose the impact of solution - solution - solution.

Just an idea, if anyone wants to contribute then feel free.

Like the idea.... Today I got up

rxmartin

Men need to be emotionally strong, only then one can survive. Family support is important in this case.

Morag

http://www.menssheds.ie/about-us/