I witnessed a funny crash

Mr Magners

Sitting in the car on the phone yesterday afternoon in a car park in Dublin. The car park was very busy so there was a stream of slow moving cars passing by the front of my car. 3 lads in a Corolla Verso passed me slowly, spotted the space beside me was free and reversed a couple of feet to swing in to the space. No problem with that it happens a lot.

Car behind them was a Mondeo being driven by a lady, sees the lads reversing and decides to do the same and reverses in to the Citroen C2 behind her giving it a nice little rattle. Out she gets, goes and says hello to the man behind her, turns to the lads beside me who are just getting out of the car and roars at them..."youse ****ing eejits made me reverse in to this man behind me":eek:

Cue bewildered looks from the lads and me in bits laughing in the car.

Just thought I'd share as it gave me a laugh yesterday.

v240gltse

classic always someone else's fault :D:D:D:D:D

Frank Black

I once had this stand off (park off?) with a woman in Liffey Valley Car Park - she was driving the wrong way down an aisle - now most aisles, there's enough space for 2 cars to pass - but not this one.
I was fecked if I was going to reverse, so I calmly indicated to her that she needed to reverse (about 20 yards).
She just fixed me with this dead eye stare and shook her head.

I rolled down my window and stuck my head out and shouted "you're going the wrong way, you need to reverse".

She just sat there pointing at me like I should reverse.

This was now going on for about 2 minutes. Eventually a couple of other cars drove up the aisle behind me and she presumably realised that she was in the wrong and reversed to the end of the aisle.

Had two young kids in the car with me at the time, but I was successfully able to give her a sneaky finger (oh matron!) as I drove past.

She was purple with rage.

Tallon

Liffey Valley is the WORST for people driving down the wrong way. I just pull into the middle and stop, until the reverse... really pisses me off

Danbo!

Sitting at a red light at a cross road near rathgar, I saw a cyclist in my passenger wing mirror flying towards the junction. All 4 pedestrian lights were green but no pedestrians about, so he presumed he could mill through. At the same time another cyclist is thinking the same thing coming from the left. The two spot eachother at the last second and brake hard, but it's too late. What followed was the slowest, most awkward fall I have ever seen, they pretty much ended on top of eachother, followed by them trying to pick themselves up and untangle their bikes awkwardly, both of them knowing they were in the wrong.

voojeq

Mr Magners wrote: »

Sitting in the car on the phone yesterday afternoon in a car park in Dublin. The car park was very busy so there was a stream of slow moving cars passing by the front of my car. 3 lads in a Corolla Verso passed me slowly, spotted the space beside me was free and reversed a couple of feet to swing in to the space. No problem with that it happens a lot.

Car behind them was a Mondeo being driven by a lady, sees the lads reversing and decides to do the same and reverses in to the Citroen C2 behind her giving it a nice little rattle. Out she gets, goes and says hello to the man behind her, turns to the lads beside me who are just getting out of the car and roars at them..."youse ****ing eejits made me reverse in to this man behind me":eek:

Cue bewildered looks from the lads and me in bits laughing in the car.

Just thought I'd share as it gave me a laugh yesterday.

ah women drivers are class in this country, was just going up to work in blanch shopping center. I was driving from Aquatic Centre towards Blanch and was waiting for a green light on the junction next to eBay, . When i got to the lights it was red on my lane so i paitiently waited for green. After a while i noticed a female driver in mazda mx3 standing on both lanes behind me. Seeing that I immedietaly moved forward quite a bit to give her some space so others can get through. She tnen moved on about a meter and stopped on both lanes again.

:pac:

Hal1

Careful now...

red menace

Danbo! wrote: »

Sitting at a red light at a cross road near rathgar, I saw a cyclist in my passenger wing mirror flying towards the junction. All 4 pedestrian lights were green but no pedestrians about, so he presumed he could mill through. At the same time another cyclist is thinking the same thing coming from the left. The two spot eachother at the last second and brake hard, but it's too late. What followed was the slowest, most awkward fall I have ever seen, they pretty much ended on top of eachother, followed by them trying to pick themselves up and untangle their bikes awkwardly, both of them knowing they were in the wrong.

One dark and stormy evening, I was crossing the road on the way to the pub, watched 2 cars pass then I stepped off the path in front of a cyclist with no lights and we ended up doing a slow motion waltz up the road as we both struggled to stay upright and he launching a stream of profanities in my direction. We ended up in the middle of the road with him picking his bike off the ground and preparing to swing for me. My friend handing him his scarf broke the spell and he cycled away a little shakily. Took me a while to live that down

btkm8unsl0w5r4

Anyone else see the Maybach crashed at Kiliney shopping center roundabout yesterday.....expensive fender bender.

Mr Benevolent

Isabel Famous Crown wrote: »

Anyone else see the Maybach crashed at Kiliney shopping center roundabout yesterday.....expensive fender bender.

Hehe, the most famous Maybach around there is Enya's - she'll be well pissed off!

dr.fuzzenstein

Mr Magners wrote: »

."youse ****ing eejits made me reverse in to this man behind me":eek:

Jaysus, the only response to that has two words and the second one is "off"

newmug

Ha! I've one for yiz!


This was not a crash, but a big f*** you to the perpetrator!

One day, I pulled out of my gateway, and parked outside my own gate, 2 wheels up on the path, while my uncle was locking the gate. We were going out the fields to castarate some bullocks.

Seeing as I was blocking some traffic for the 30 seconds it took to actually lock the gate, I let my window down and waved on any cars that pulled up behind me. 3 went, one just sat there.

I waved this car on twice. Initially, he didnt budge. Then, slowly he pulled up alongside me with his passenger window down. It was a man, 35-ish. He stared at me with his mouth open, stopped dead in the middle of the road.

I had never seen the likes of this before. He just kept staring at me. So I said, "What the fcuk are YOU looking at". He replied "If I get hit by another car because I had to pass you, it'll be YOUR fault". Not in the mood for sh1te like that, I answered "Well I hope you fcukin do!". His eyes popped out his his head. "What?" he whimpered in disbelief, the end of his word going up in pitch. "I said I hope you do get fcukin hit, you pr1ck" I retorted. Just as I was saying this, the auld uncle got in, and I cruised off.

I told the uncle what happened, and we had a good laugh about it in the jeep. The cheek of this moron! We then noticed that he was following us! We decided to just go right ahead into the field when we got there, like were going to do anyway, and see how far he'd get then! But before we got to the land, we encountered a set of traffic lights. They had just turned red, and I was second in the queue, with this gobsh1te behind me.

I looked in the mirror, and saw that he had gotten out of his car, and was marching towards me. I still had my window down at this stage. Suddenly, he swept up side-on at the window, holding up a Guarda ID ala Fox Moulder. Just the way he did it nearly made me burst out laughing in his face. He then proceeded to lecture me in how you cant "block up the whole street", as he put it, eventhough he had enough room to plonk his arse right alongside me while he practiced his death-stare on me. I pointed out to him that I had just exited my gateway and I was entitled to lock it, and also that he never asked me if I was ok, I could have been broke down, or having a heart attack, he just approached the whole situation with his mind already made up that I was in the wrong.

Having taken this on board, he was stumped. You could nearly see the cogs turning in his brain as what I said sunk in, and a look of "oh yea, never thought of that" dawning on his stupid face. Then he changed tack. His next angle was "well you cant just go around calling people a pr1ck". Another moment of holding back the laughter occured. The innocence of this fella, was that really his reason for exiting his car and starting a confrontation? Yet again, I had to point out the facts, that he had indeed been acting like an unhelpful, un-social, power tripping pr1ck, and that it wasnt against the law to call someone that anyway. His reply - "It IS against the law to call someone a pr1ck". Me- "What law?"

Another stare with his mouth open.

After 10 seconds of this staring, I interrupted him, by asking for his name and station. This snapped him out of it. He blurted them out angrily, knowing he was beaten as he watched me methodically note them down in my notebook (I didnt really!). Then, just as he turned to walk away, I said "I'm going to look you up!". This really hit a nerve with him. His voice went up, he started flinging his arms around, I dont even know what he was saying, he was going ape.

Just then the lights turned green. I said "NOW who's blocking up the whole street", and tore off, leaving him standing in the middle of the road flailing his arms, while other cars blew their horns at him to get out of the way. He just stood there, staring. Gobsh1te.

Although I still would have loved to see what he'd do when I drove out into the field. Newmug 1, Gobsh1te 0.

loobylou

How do you castrate a bullock?

Kxiii

loobylou wrote: »

How do you castrate a bullock?

I dont know but it takes balls. :pac:

loobylou

Methinks they're already gone.

OldmanMondeo

loobylou wrote: »

How do you castrate a bullock?

Someone explained to me before, I noticed have way through the story I noticed my legs crossed and my hands holding my "jewels", so lets just say, you don't want to know...

Annuv

loobylou wrote: »

How do you castrate a bullock?

Not the most productive use of a farmer's time!

Seth Brundle

There are two methods of castration AFAIK - burdizzo and surgery.
I must pick up a burdizzo for when my daughter starts thinking about dating!
As has been inferred, you wouldn't castrate a bullock but you might castrate a bull!

Lustrum

You turn up with a scissors and a bottle of dettol and hope for the best!!

r3nu4l

Well I don't know about bullocks but I smell a load of bull from that post :pac:

MugMugs

r3nu4l wrote: »

Well I don't know about bullocks but I smell a load of bull from that post :pac:

Glad somebody said it.

D_murph

When I first saw this thread title, I thought the story was going to be about a crash between two cars driven by circus clowns :pac:.

newmug

loobylou wrote: »

How do you castrate a bullock?

Annuv wrote: »

Not the most productive use of a farmer's time!

kbannon wrote: »

As has been inferred, you wouldn't castrate a bullock but you might castrate a bull!

Its a routine thing to do. Its called "squeezing", but I knew yous city-boys wouldn't understand what that meant! Basically, you have this thing that looks like a giant nail clippers. You put one testicle into it at a time, and you "squeeze", ie you push the two handles together. It crushes the spermicidal chord without breaking the skin. You have to do this or the bullocks will grow up to be bulls and they'll go around riding all the heifers and you wont have a purebred herd. Also, bulls meat is tougher, so bullocks meat sells better.


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btkm8unsl0w5r4

Well you learn something new every day.....

MugMugs

I think this is the most off topic I've ever seen a thread go.

Seth Brundle

@newmug - what did I post that was inaccurate?
I've done the procedure on cattle several times (and also been involved in surgical methods on older beasts).

But, yes, we're waaaay off topic!

paulmclaughlin

newmug wrote: »

IBasically, you have this thing that looks like a giant nail clippers. You put one testicle into it at a time, and you "squeeze", ie you push the two handles together. It crushes the spermicidal chord without breaking the skin.

I think I'm gonna be sick...

msg11

@newmug, jesus divine that post has no place in a motors forum on a public website !

newmug

kbannon wrote: »

@newmug - what did I post that was inaccurate?

The bit where you said you wouldnt squeeze a bullock, only a bull - they're still only bullocks when you squeeze them. Sorry for calling you a city-boy if you aren't, I know how much of an insult that is to us country people!

msg11 wrote: »

@newmug, jesus divine that post has no place in a motors forum on a public website !

Sorry msg11, I was only answering a question asked in relation to my motor related post on the previous page:D

I wonder whats the most flagrantly off-topic thread in Boards's history? This one has to be up there!

newmug

MugMugs wrote: »

Glad somebody said it.

Was it you?

Seth Brundle

Jesus, don't start up this crap again.






(FYI a bullock is a castrated bull hence my point that you wouldn't castrate one but being a city boy I shouldn't know this but you being a country person really should have!)