Question

PTH2009

Ok this weekend I am suppose to be going to a dinner party with the girlfriend. Have tickets, rooms, chlothes sorted but do far this week she has been sick with the flu and I am getting so scared that shes not going to go because shes sick.

Im very much looking forward to the party because it would be my first nite out with all of her friends and it will kill me inside to know that I wont be going.

Its not her fault shes sick and would not be rite to have a go at her but when ur looking forward to something so much and then get it taking away its frustrating.

Any advice that someone could lend me about this situation

floorpie

I don't want to be as terse as to just say 'deal with it'...but...it's her friends' thing. If she can't go, she can't go.

I get where you're coming from about looking forward to something and then the plan changing being frustrating, but i really can't grasp the idea that you half-think having a go at her would be right.

I mean, is this the whole issue? Do you think it's an excuse on her part or something?

coolcat63

If she's not well then she/you will have a miserable time if she does go. It's not the end of the world if you have to rearrange for when she's feeling better. Don't be scared - look after her!

cafecolour

I don't know why, but eating a s**tload of garlic (i mean like half a bulb or more a day) often speeds up my recovery. Cook her some garlic bread, or pasta, and such.

Other than help her recover quickly, there's nothing you can do. If she's sick, she can't go, and, as it's her friends' thing, if she doesn't go, you can't go.

PTH2009

cafecolour wrote: »

I don't know why, but eating a s**tload of garlic (i mean like half a bulb or more a day) often speeds up my recovery. Cook her some garlic bread, or pasta, and such.

Other than help her recover quickly, there's nothing you can do. If she's sick, she can't go, and, as it's her friends' thing, if she doesn't go, you can't go.

Its her work places xmas party and she asked me to go a while back.

This is my first time goin to something like this and would be heartbreaking not too go.

Acoshla

Sorry OP but, heartbreaking not to go to a work do? Really?? If she's sick she's sick, that's pretty much the end of it, don't make her feel bad as well as being sick.

floorpie

Yeah, you're really going to have to just deal with it. Like coolcat said, look after your sick girl.

Put it this way, you wouldn't have the option of going if you weren't with her, so you'll have zero chance of going to this, or future ones, if you don't suck it up and make her feel better instead of struggling not to make her feel worse.

(Plus, a bit of genuine, unmotivated, TLC might have her feeling sprightly by then (so long as you're not just doing it purely so you can go))

Miss Fluff

It will be disappointing if you can't go but her getting better here is the priority really. There will be plenty of other nights and opportunities so if I were you I'd focus on making her feel better (and not putting any pressure on her).

Da Shins Kelly

It's just a party.

Chinafoot

PTH2009 wrote: »

Ok this weekend I am suppose to be going to a dinner party with the girlfriend. Have tickets, rooms, chlothes sorted but do far this week she has been sick with the flu and I am getting so scared that shes not going to go because shes sick.

Im very much looking forward to the party because it would be my first nite out with all of her friends and it will kill me inside to know that I wont be going.

Its not her fault shes sick and would not be rite to have a go at her but when ur looking forward to something so much and then get it taking away its frustrating.

Any advice that someone could lend me about this situation

PTH2009 wrote: »

Its her work places xmas party and she asked me to go a while back.

This is my first time goin to something like this and would be heartbreaking not too go.

Jaysus OP, thats some seriously emotional language there over the possibility you might not get to go to her work Christmas party. Seems an extreme overreaction to be quite frank.

Its her work party. Why on earth are you placing so much importance on it? Have you ever been to a typical work christmas party?

If she's sick, she's sick. Do not even think about taking your "frustration" out on her.

ElleEm

Chinafoot wrote: »

Jaysus OP, thats some seriously emotional language there over the possibility you might not get to go to her work Christmas party. Seems an extreme overreaction to be quite frank.

Its her work party. Why on earth are you placing so much importance on it? Have you ever been to a typical work christmas party?

If she's sick, she's sick. Do not even think about taking your "frustration" out on her.

This post is so spot on.



OP, which do you care more about, a night out or your girlfriend?
I presume your answer is your girlfriend!
So without sounding too tough, GET OVER IT! It's only a night out.

I'm getting over a really bad cold at the minute, and I am miserable. I am in no more form for going out this weekend, but I only have a cold. Your girlfriend is probably feeling super rubbish and sore with the flu. Do you want her to feel worse cos of you??

I know that if my boyfriend was pressuring me to go out if I was sick I would be very angry with him. This is HER work do, not yours. If she doesn't feel well enough to go, then leave it at that.

You can be quietly disappointed, but if I was you, I wouldn't raise it with her. She's ill. Let her recover without having to think of unimportant rubbish.

Beruthiel

Perspective PTH2009. You appear to have lost it.
In the grander scheme of life, this isn't even a blip.

Pebbles68

Absolutely agree with all the other posters OP. Heartbreaking, kill you inside, scared? It's a party!!!! And her work Christmas party.

Your girlfriend is sick. That's what you should be concerned about.

Judes

For goodness sake it's not about you going to the "party" it's about your girlfriend being ill and you should be taking care of her, showing her kindness and love - if you do this there will be a lot more parties to attend together in the future. Go to this event without her and believe me - there is no future for the two of you. (The elder lemon speaking here)

I was really ill in 2009, was supposed to go to London with bf of the time but in the end he flew for weekend away without me. Yes, I kept telling him he should go whilst I was sitting alone in A&E for 9 hours - and there he was flying to London alone. I encouraged him to go because I was still concerned for him as he'd had major surgery in 2008 and was hospitalised earlier in 2009so although I was really ill - I still wanted the best for him, he needed a break - so from my sick bed before my doctor sent me to A&S I arranged for him to stay in my friend's place in London without me - also for various friends to accompany him to show and concert he'd pre-booked tickets for.

My family and friends were absolutely appalled he went on this trip without me. The fact is I kept making excuses for him - but he should have been with me - as I was him when he had been ill. And this was towards the end of a 6 year relationship. But this proved to me, my family and friends - that I was always there for him, holding his hand, supporting him and generally propping him up through life - and he was NEVER there for me.

What's more important - your girlfriend or a night out?

Steamer

PTH2009 wrote: »

Ok this weekend I am suppose to be going to a dinner party with the girlfriend. Have tickets, rooms, chlothes sorted but do far this week she has been sick with the flu and I am getting so scared that shes not going to go because shes sick.

Im very much looking forward to the party because it would be my first nite out with all of her friends and it will kill me inside to know that I wont be going.

Its not her fault shes sick and would not be rite to have a go at her but when ur looking forward to something so much and then get it taking away its frustrating.

Any advice that someone could lend me about this situation

The title of your thread is "Question", what is the question? What do you want to know here? Advise on what? How to make your girlfriend better asap?

Also, where the hell does she work that would be that good of a Christmas party????

Neyite

You do realise that a Christmas work party is essentially an extension of work dont you? You take people who only have an employer in common, add in a few fancy frocks and a heap of booze and everybody pretends that they are having an awesome time, while bored out of their tree listening to the office bore drone on in the corner. Then someone will get so drunk they puke and make a show of themselves, and someone will snog a colleague who is married and gets gossiped about for the rest of the year. The office brown nose will be glued to the bosses all night wrecking their head, and someone will get drunk and tell the office tosser exactly what everyone thinks of him /her.

Office Parties are work. I go because I dont want to be seen as a drysh!te, but to be honest, I clockwatch until a respectable amount of time has passed that I can leave without being noticed. I would much prefer a few pints with real friends any day.

daisybelle2008

OP, your reaction would indicate there may be more to the issue than just potentially missing a OH's work night. Are you secure in your relationship with your girlfriend? Are you concerned about her friends and workmates liking you?

PTH2009

What am annoyed about it is that this would be my first time out with the girlfriend at this sort of event and was looking forward to it so much.

Jenneke87

PTH2009 wrote: »

What am annoyed about it is that this would be my first time out with the girlfriend at this sort of event and was looking forward to it so much.

Unless these are her final days on earth I'm sure there will be plenty of other Christmas parties in the years to come. Depending on the date she might as well be fully recovered. chill and take good care of her!

daisybelle2008

If that is the reason you are annoyed then maybe you need to look a bit deeper and figure out why minor and inconsequential things like this are causing such a disporportionately high emotional reaction from you.
Life has little blips, if this is your reaction then you are causing yourself an awful lot of unnecessary stress. That will eventually rub off on your relationship.
How old are you? Try to see the positive in every situation. There will be plenty of opportunitys for this kind of thing, believe me at some stage you will be making excuses up to avoid these sort of work things. If you are mature, confident and happy with your girlfriend then you will KNOW that there will be loads more of these on the horizon when the time is right.

Miss Fluff

PTH2009 wrote: »

What am annoyed about it is that this would be my first time out with the girlfriend at this sort of event and was looking forward to it so much.

Hon in the past you have started tonnes of threads on your social awkwardness, your lack of friends, your inability to find a girlfriend and your tendency to obsess amongst a whole host of other issues.

And I think it's great to see that you are finally getting your life together a little at last OP but I'm going to tell you something for certain. If you in any way show your girlfriend that you are "annoyed" (and I get that you have some psychological issues but you shouldn't be reacting like this) then you're going to jeopardise the future of this relationship.

The poor girl is sick, if ye can't make it to the party that is a shame but throwing a pity party for yourself is uncalled for. I know that this is probably your first time ever really being invited to any social function like this so it is a very big deal for you but you're going to have to react to this in a mature and adult fashion and not revert to your old ways.

dellas1979

To me it sounds like you are using your girlfriend and her work night out as a way to do your socialising.

In your head she is after ruining it for you, despite in reality her actually being sick. Do you find it hard to empathise with people?

floorpie

If he's never been to a similar event (even though they're normally crap anyway), and he's after buying clothes, booking hotel rooms, organizing everything, it's understandable that he's...slightly peeved. But it's the type of peevedness where, at the absolute worst, you have a little sigh, say "ah well, another time! I better cancel that room!", and move on. It's not the type where you get angry.

If you don't act really cool/accepting about the whole thing (as you should), you're going to come across very poorly.

tinkerbell

OP, seriously, how is this even an issue? If she's sick, she can't go! It's not like you're missing this once-in-a-lifetime event, you're missing a stupid christmas party! Get over it and stop being so dramatic about it. The way you are going on about this would seriously worry your girlfriend with your OTT reaction.

Da Shins Kelly

PTH2009 wrote: »

What am annoyed about it is that this would be my first time out with the girlfriend at this sort of event and was looking forward to it so much.

So f*cking what? Like I said, it's just a party. You're making an issue out of something that is really quite trivial. There'll be a million other parties that you can go to. It's not your girlfriend's fault that she's sick enough that she can't go. You're being ridiculously petty.