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A friend for fair weather

  • 06-12-2011 2:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    I'm debating with myself over whether I should 'have it out' with someone I thought was a close friend, but has turned out not to be.

    I had been quite concerned for this friend only very recently, and had been there for him during what was a very low period for him. His other friends remained distant and dismissive throughout, thinking it a case of moaning and groaning, but he actually was quite close to a nervous breakdown and had to take medication for it.

    He was glad he could talk to me about it. For my part, I didn't even think of it as 'being there' for him as such - it's just what friends are for, right? Not being there would have been something I couldn't have even considered.

    Not long after he was feeling better, I was having problems with my girlfriend and the relationship seemed doomed. I remember saying to my friend that at least I would have some support if the sh1t hit the fan. And hit the fan it did.

    We broke up about a week later - that being about a month ago now - and I've barely heard a word from him since. I was warned before that himself and his friends tend to steer clear of 'those less fortunate' lest it ruin their buzz, but I somehow never believed it. Now I've been discarded like a leper, all because I'm going through a tough time. In other ways he's a thoughtful person, good to talk to etc, but now I've finally witnessed the selfish side of him - a side that my girlfriend actually warned me of.

    Now, the question isn't whether I'm imagining all this - providing more details would only make it more clear cut. He has shown himself quite clearly to be a fair weather friend, and it really hurts. The question I want to put to you guys is this - have you gone through something similar, and would confronting this person help things, or should I simply cut my losses and move on, accepting him for what he is?


Comments

  • #2
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Fairweatherfriends wrote: »
    would confronting this person help things, or should I simply cut my losses and move on, accepting him for what he is?

    Cut your losses and move on. Confrontation isn't going to give you any closure, it will just stir things up more emotionally. Plus, if he's like you say he is, confronting him will just make him think you're 'dramatic' and 'emotional', and it will provide confirmation that he was right to keep away.

    Sorry, but most friends are 'party friends'/'fair weather friends' those change every few years, as you move to new stages/new places. The few close ones that have proven themselves, you keep for a while.


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