House sharing issues

BraziliaNZ

I'm not sure if this is the right forum. Anyway currently I'm sharing with 2 others since July. I've had a few issues now that are really getting on my tits these days.
First of all both of them are very messy. The living room and kitchen are one open area. They both work at home a few days a week and when I come home nearly every day the place is absolutely thrashed. All cups/plates/pots etc have been used, so I need to clean all the counters, wash their stuff etc so that I can make dinner.
Also I can't relax in a pigsty so I just clean anyway. A few weeks ago I just started keeping the place spotless myself to see if they'd get the picture but again I keep coming home to the place being destroyed.
They also get a cleaner every Friday, which I have to pay for every 3 weeks. The place is usually a total state within 2 days though, so I really resent paying for it.
I've dealt with people like this before, messy people just can't see the mess and it doesn't bother them so I'm not sure what to do.
I can't afford to move out for a long time, so what am I supposed to do in this case?
Also my room is beside the living area and they are SO noisy at night, so I basically can't go to bed or sleep until they decide to.

I haven't discussed this stuff with them because it just feels incredibly awkward and I don't want to cause tension in the house - so I really don't know how to go about resolving this stuff? Any advice? Thanks.

P.S. It's a 30 year old girl and 31 year old fella, the fella is worse but she's still atrocious. They are really good friends too and I moved in as a stranger.

tinkerbell

Ok first of all, why are you paying for a cleaner when you are the one who cleans up after yourself? Do they pay at all? You need to stop contributing, because it's ridiculous.

These people have no respect for you if they use up all the dishes, cutlery, pots, pans, etc. and don't bother cleaning them. My suggestion to you is that you move all your dishes, etc. into your bedroom. Take them out into the kitchen when you are preparing food. Once you've eaten your dinner, wash them all, dry them and bring them back to your room. You will never have to wash a dirty dish again that has been used by someone else.

As for all the crap that they leave in the kitchen, shove it all to one side, stack up all their dirty dishes or else put them in a big cardboard box so at least you have some space then to prepare your own food.

I think though really that you need to (a) stop paying for the cleaner since they just wreck the place and (b) talk to them about it, and (c) say it to them about the noise issues. They are 30 and 31, they are not teenagers / in their early 20s, they should know better.

Failing that, I would move out.

BraziliaNZ

tinkerbell wrote: »

Ok first of all, why are you paying for a cleaner when you are the one who cleans up after yourself? Do they pay at all? You need to stop contributing, because it's ridiculous.

These people have no respect for you if they use up all the dishes, cutlery, pots, pans, etc. and don't bother cleaning them. My suggestion to you is that you move all your dishes, etc. into your bedroom. Take them out into the kitchen when you are preparing food. Once you've eaten your dinner, wash them all, dry them and bring them back to your room. You will never have to wash a dirty dish again that has been used by someone else.

As for all the crap that they leave in the kitchen, shove it all to one side, stack up all their dirty dishes or else put them in a big cardboard box so at least you have some space then to prepare your own food.

I think though really that you need to (a) stop paying for the cleaner since they just wreck the place and (b) talk to them about it, and (c) say it to them about the noise issues. They are 30 and 31, they are not teenagers / in their early 20s, they should know better.

Failing that, I would move out.

I can't move out, I paid about 800 quid deposit to move in, I had just broken up with someone and was in a rush so was delighted to be offered the place. I don't think anyone else would take the room at the price tbh.
I don't want to resort to keeping dishes in my room etc.
They pay for the cleaner too, I mean once a week one of us pays for her.

The problem with the noise is that it's right beside the kitchen/living room and everything they do is really loud in my room, they may as well be boiling kettles or scraping things etc in bed beside me.
That's not really their fault that the place is designed badly. It really sucks because if I just want some peace and quiet at 8pm for e.g., when I go into my room I have to listen to TV, their conversations, absolutely everything. So I have no peace and quiet. I find myself in the pub a lot in the evenings just so I don't have to deal with it.
I really just have to save and move out ASAP I think?

petes

On the sound thing, would a set of ear plugs not help?

BraziliaNZ

Insurgent wrote: »

On the sound thing, would a set of ear plugs not help?

Yeah but I'm just not comfortable wearing those things

dearg lady

I had a similiar situation myself and it's such a pain! I used just clear a space for preparing food, wash the dishes I needed and then leave them dirty afterwards. Basically as I found the place. It's really infuriating, but you'll drive yourself mad cleanin up after them.
If at all possible, I would look at moving out ASAP.

I am a friend

What notice do you need to give to move out? You have few choices - either tell them or say nothing and move out.

ICANN

One of my housemates is like this right now. She's older than all of us and always goes on about how she hates having to share with people in their early 20s but she's the dirtiest person I've ever met. Her dishes have been by the sink for 4 days now and she's always slamming doors and shouting down the phone and staying up all night because she doesn't have a job. These people are too selfish to get any of your hints (staying out of the house and cleaning or whatever) so moving out is prob your best option. You only have to give a months notice and as long as you get someone to take over your room you should get all of your deposit back.

BraziliaNZ

ICANN wrote: »

One of my housemates is like this right now. She's older than all of us and always goes on about how she hates having to share with people in their early 20s but she's the dirtiest person I've ever met. Her dishes have been by the sink for 4 days now and she's always slamming doors and shouting down the phone and staying up all night because she doesn't have a job. These people are too selfish to get any of your hints (staying out of the house and cleaning or whatever) so moving out is prob your best option. You only have to give a months notice and as long as you get someone to take over your room you should get all of your deposit back.

I see you're in London too, got a spare room?!

Ickle Magoo

Ask the person who took the deposit what the deal is in terms of giving notice, etc.

You have two choices, you can say nowt and be driven demented by it all and nothing will change or you can sit them both down and ask can they pull their respective fingers out because you can't keep living like this or they'll be looking for a new flat-mate.

TBH given that the flat is badly designed and even if they are clean and tidy the general noise is going to bug you, I'd be moving out anyway.

All the best you. :cool:

BraziliaNZ

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Ask the person who took the deposit what the deal is in terms of giving notice, etc.

You have two choices, you can say nowt and be driven demented by it all and nothing will change or you can sit them both down and ask can they pull their respective fingers out because you can't keep living like this or they'll be looking for a new flat-mate.

TBH given that the flat is badly designed and even if they are clean and tidy the general noise is going to bug you, I'd be moving out anyway.

All the best you. :cool:

The problem is, as i signed a ease, it's up to me to get someone else in, or else I lose my deposit. I think it would be a hard sell to get someone in as the rent is high enough, I was just in a rush to move somewhere, and it's quite a nice flat and in a good location. The noise and the mess are not apparent when you're viewing the flat though, so maybe I could con someone.

Ickle Magoo

Definitely try to get someone else in - you'll feel better just because you are being pro-active...

Might also be worth calculating how much you'll end up forking out for cleaners and the cost to your mental health of living in such in environment - I've merrily waved goodbye to deposits before after calculating I'll be paying more in bills/hard liqueur trying to live there for the duration of the lease than cutting my losses!

BraziliaNZ

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Definitely try to get someone else in - you'll feel better just because you are being pro-active...

Might also be worth calculating how much you'll end up forking out for cleaners and the cost to your mental health of living in such in environment - I've merrily waved goodbye to deposits before after calculating I'll be paying more in bills/hard liqueur trying to live there for the duration of the lease than cutting my losses!

I know yeah but you're talking 800 sterling, it's a lot of money. I might just start saving and try and ride it out for a while, just some days I'm raging over it, which is why I posted this in the first place. I feel a lot better now.

tinkerbell

Seriously OP, you need to keep your kitchen utensils, plates, etc. in your bedroom! It is the only way if you do not wish to confront your flatmates. I had to do this before many years ago when I was living with people in my student days, I was driven demented because the place was a wreck, they used my stuff, and sometimes when I went to cook my dinner, it would wreck my head because there was no clean pots, pans, knives, forks, nothing! And my pet hate is when I have to clean up before cooking. And after my dinner I would ALWAYS clean up either as I cooked or else straight after. So they would've had clean stuff then!

After a while, I just said right to hell with this, and I moved all my stuff out and into my room. We all got on grand after that then. So OP, I suggest you do the same.

BraziliaNZ

Well I don't really own any of the stuff as I moved in after them, eek

ICANN

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I see you're in London too, got a spare room?!

I'll get back to ya as soon as we manage to rid of the nightmare

Alkers

If you are on a similar timetable to one or both of them, a good way of approaching this issue is to share a few meals with them where one party cooks and the other cleans up afterwards and you take turns swapping roles. Failing that, would getting the cleaner to come twice a week make the place easier to live in?